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The Parenting Thread


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#521 Kishmish002

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Posted 23 December 2010 - 08:43 PM

He's 2 and his behavior varies! I'll list his offenses and what I do in response, will you tell me where I'm going wrong and what you would do?

Refusing Actual Food (he'll go for Pringles/Milk/Salami/Grapes) When he refuses food, I usually keep him in his highchair and refuse to let him get on with his day until he's finished eating. However, when we're late for things I do have to give up and I just refuse his snacks until he's eaten the food he needs to. This results in him avoiding food altogether and eventually I'm desperate for him to eat anything I'll let him have the grapes. I have tried to stick to his leftovers until he's finished them but he doesn't mind going on hunger strike.

Biting- When he bites we put him in 'time out' in the play pen. When his time is up, he bites again. We put him back in, talk to him. Take him out, he bites again. Husband has suggested we either bite back or pretend to cry like it really hurts to drive the point home.
Remember, when in an altercation with an opposing desi, the lighter-skinned one is always right.

:monkey: bandhar tera baap!

#522 marjanih

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Posted 23 December 2010 - 10:02 PM

Eating Issue: Does he drink Pediasure? You might want to discuss with your doctor his refusal of food and have his weight checked. You might need to give him a meal replacement drink.

Don't refuse him food. You really don't want to make a war out of food. He knows by now that if he holds out long enough, you will back down. Don't even let him think there's a problem. Don't feed into the drama.

Anyway, either remove junk food completely from his diet (i.e pringles & salami) or only allow it for one snacktime, the same snacktime, a day. Sit down with him and discuss yummy (healthy) foods. Make a poster for him to physically see each day. Might even want to make a poster chart- have rows of healthy foods have rows open to put stickers each time they eat one. Make a huge ordeal, clapping cheering dancing and all about it.

You have to try to make an effort to always have time to focus on his eating. You want to nip this in the butt the sooner the better.

What foods will he actually eat? If you can come up with a healthy meal plan with the same five meals, go for it! Then slowly incorporate other items into each meal, then gradually add a whole new meal into the mix.

Have you tried involving him in the simple dishes, like lunch? Let him help prepare his own sandwiches. Bust out the camera and get all gungho about it. Say you want to take pics of him eating the sandwich he made and send it to daddy or whomever.

This will take more time and energy, but try to do up his meals. Make faces or animals out of the food or use "special" dishes that he can ONLY use for meals.

Biting: Keep going about the time out. Every. Single. Time. Express pain and sadness when he bites and explain how it feels to him. You can try crying- it works for some kids, and for others, they will find your theatrics amusing. Lol. Depends on the temper of the child. Biting is age appropriate and it can literally take months to break, but I promise, it will eventually break. :) Is he in daycare or around kids who bite?

Hope this all helps!

#523 Shivermetimbers

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Posted 24 December 2010 - 12:32 PM

your kid might have texture/sensory issues, reflux or some other medical issue preventing him from liking certain foods. he may just be a picky eater too, but it's always good to get it checked by a doctor.

one of my 16 month old kids is a biter. he only bites his brother though. we discipline him by firmly and loudly repeating "don't BITE," in our respective languages, with the emphasis being on the word bite. i think it's working because he bites less often. we've noticed he does it more when he's hungry and/or cranky.
sachi, Allah rocks.

#524 SoMagnanimous

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Posted 28 December 2010 - 10:52 PM

do you use a point system to reward children for completing chores?

like they accumulate points and get a prize or something?

#525 fny21

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Posted 02 January 2011 - 09:34 PM

ted talk: parenting taboos

http://www.ted.com/t...ing_taboos.html

whatchya think, parents (or nonparents)? true or false?

:flower:

Ya muqallib al Quloob, thabbit qalbee alaa deenik
O turner of the hearts, establish my heart upon your deen



"Let whosoever believes in Allah and in the Last Day either speak good or be silent." [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

#526 Sea_of_Roses

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Posted 05 March 2011 - 09:03 PM

ted talk: parenting taboos

http://www.ted.com/t...ing_taboos.html

whatchya think, parents (or nonparents)? true or false?

:flower:


This couple is doing a good thing, exposing the bitter-sweet side to starting a new family. Its not all milk and cookies, its important for people to realize that early I think.
-But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye like a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. 2:216
-I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. -Aristotle
-How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception. -Alfred de Musset
http://kaleena101.wordpress.com/

#527 MoonStar

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Posted 19 March 2011 - 05:48 PM

does anyone know of good parenting books? here's some I want to read/have heard are good, has anyone read any of them?


"Meeting the Challenge of Parenting in the West: An Islamic Perspective" by Ekram Beshir

"Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp

"Don't Make Me Count to Three: a Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline" by Ginger Plowman

"Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women"
James C. Dobson

"Parenting Skills: Based on The Qur'an and Sunnah" by Ekram Beshir

"1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Advice on Parenting)" by Thomas W. Phelan PhD

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" by Adele Faber

Ask Supernanny: What Every Parent Wants to Know" by Jo Frost

#528 Ayeshah

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Posted 24 March 2011 - 01:50 PM

Nice thread, :)

Jazakallahu khairan.
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#529 Sea_of_Roses

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Posted 24 June 2011 - 10:54 PM

CDC-Child Development
-But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye like a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. 2:216
-I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. -Aristotle
-How glorious it is - and also how painful - to be an exception. -Alfred de Musset
http://kaleena101.wordpress.com/

#530 princesszz

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Posted 26 July 2011 - 05:22 AM

My nephews have the grammar all wrong. They are 5, 7 and 8 years old.

For them, It's always, "Did you went to the store?". That's just one of the examples of how awful their grammar is. I don't know if I should keep correcting them? Or is it an age/phase thing and they'll just grow out of it?

I am visiting them temporarily.
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”

#531 Manny5

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Posted 05 October 2013 - 01:06 PM

I've read the first few pages of this thread and so far it seems very interesting... it'll take me a while to read the rest of the 24 pages. Anywhos, hope i'm not re-posting these videos:

I've found the CALM technique to be very helpful with my 4 year old...and wife :look:
Jennifer Kolari: The CALM Technique and Child Brain Development

Dr. Gabor Maté: Consequences of Stressed Parenting

How TV Affects the Brains of Young Children

Gordon Neufeld on Raising Children in a Digital World
Don't raise your voice, improve your agrument or admit defeat.

#532 ShotgunMessiah

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Posted 22 January 2014 - 12:54 AM

I'm a single parent of a child growing up in multiple faith homes. It's quite trying at times; you never really know what your ex-spouse will do until after you are separated. While advice is appreciated, I can't help the feeling that this is something we will have to work out day by day.



#533 wheelworks

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Posted 26 January 2014 - 11:16 PM

I'm a single parent of a child growing up in multiple faith homes. It's quite trying at times; you never really know what your ex-spouse will do until after you are separated. While advice is appreciated, I can't help the feeling that this is something we will have to work out day by day.

Make dua. Lots and lots of dua. Insha Allah your child stays a good Muslim. 


"Don't judge the truth by people. First find the truth, then you will recognize its people." - Imam Ali,
If you sift through all the non-serious posts of mine you'll eventually find a jewel that you can treasure and remember with a fondness that will last generations
 


#534 ChotooMotoo

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 01:31 PM

I'm a single parent of a child growing up in multiple faith homes. It's quite trying at times; you never really know what your ex-spouse will do until after you are separated. While advice is appreciated, I can't help the feeling that this is something we will have to work out day by day.

Even if you're a not a single parent and both of you were of the same religion, it's tough to raise Muslim kids in a non-Muslim society.  It's tough to raise kids period.  Duas for all of us parents.  


Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito!


Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

#535 Manny5

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Posted 15 April 2014 - 12:16 PM

...I've found the CALM technique to be very helpful with my 4 year old...and wife :look:
Jennifer Kolari: The CALM Technique and Child Brain Development...


When the CALM technique fails... or is hardest to apply :(


**They should probably weaponize oxytocin. Oxytocin bombs > Naplam, cluster munition...
Don't raise your voice, improve your agrument or admit defeat.




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