[pterygopalatine]

Turning in my resignation letter next week! So excited. Can't wait to get out of that place.

[Macaca]

PhDGirl said:

That seems odd that you wouldn't be covered from the last day of employment. It's likely that you've already paid the premium for the month (since premiums are prospective). I'd get some clarity on that from HR. Do you qualify for reduced rates for COBRA?

I'll have to check into it. THe whole unemployment benefit process in my state is a hot mess.
I have to start looking for work probably tomorrow or so and inshaAllah tonight brush up the resume.

In retrospect, would have been better to quit than to get fired because if the company is around whenever I do actually apply for a real job....it'll be trouble. But I was fired due to medical reasons, so insha'Allah it won't be too bad.

Wasalaam.

[princesszz]

salaams,

lately, i've been evaluating my current workplace especially when one of the senior managers reminded me to sign up for my next year's courses so they can make the work schedule around my school schedule!. al hamdulilah.

at the same time, i dont know if i can pull off this same craziness next year. :s.

for my current job, I like the people, flexible schedule, and work atmosphere! but there are times, i regret selling myself short for not applying outside because for the profession i'm in, the job market is really good. if i were to work elsewhere, i'd get much higher income, but more stress of course!

. now, the question is, would i rather have a high paying job and more stress? i'm assure the answer is rather obvious. but, i always wondered if i were to support a family, or run a household (hi feminists!) would my options change? would my criteria change? should it? That's something to think about...that thought on its own scares me lol. inshaaAllah khair.

i've two months to think about whether or not i'll continue my contract...otherwise, i gotta resign too if i can't put the hours they want! I REALLLLLLLLLLY wouldn't mind working in research for sometime! now that WOULD BE HOT job especially at the same place. iA

[princesszz]

salaams,

i don't think, i have mentioned this before...my boss is desi and i'm resisting the urge to spill out all the work drama to him. how lousy some of my coworkers are. and how horrible their work ethics is. and how some of us have to work HARDER to put in for their share. and oh, i'm also gonna say "I QUIT". lately, the work has been SOOOOO Stressful. If it wasn't for my handful set of co workers, i'd have quit long time agooooo. . mA.

we are losing the BEST co workers...just because the system sucks so sooooooo much. it's a sinking boat at the moment. everyone is SO EMOTIONAL for losing our best team players. it's a PITY. like a coworker said, "they built buildings, but they don't know how to staff them".

thanks ,

wasalams.

[princesszz]

salaams,

sometimes it is rather important to "vent" to your loyal coworkers when work gets stressful. it's either that or you look for the exist door. i know i can relate especially, last week. i had my buttons pushed to the last degree. and i was desperately looking for "exist door".

today, i liked the fact one of my co worker's* actually vented a whole hour to me. lol. i found it rather bizzare considering a) he's a guy (He's a quiet type from the gentlemen's category. so hearing him vent wasn't out of ordinary. )
since, we both carry our faith boldly on our shoulders. before, it was somewhat awkward btwn us based on our faiths. Especially when the palestine and israel issue was on the rise.

(*usually, male co workers are best at respecting confidentiality and privacy. so they won't nag you for specific names, details etc. so, it's all good! regardless, he vented without mentioning names. and we both realized how crazy our jobs are. he and i have different roles and responsibility..but we work to run the same place.)


wasalams.

This post has been edited by princesszz: 13 June 2010 - 11:08 AM

[Wolfn]

I bring terrible news! Subway isn't open 24/7 anymore! We close at midnight or 11 pm now

[TrentReznor858]

Macaca said:

I guess you are right about the marriage thing, but people (older and wiser than both of us) have told me to go ahead for the marriage thing because that could help me?

Dude.....what? Those people may be older than you, but more wise? doubt that. You do not encourage someone with debilitating mental issues to get married. You have to work out your own problems, on your own time, before you decide to share your life with someone else. Maybe "back in the day" it was acceptable to marry like that, but we live in a different time now; you cannot dump your personal problems on someone you just met bacause you think they can help or it will work itself out. thats extremely selfish.

On the work front, all is well! getting good hours, I like my job, and my coworkers

[kababqueen]

TrentReznor858 said:

Dude.....what? Those people may be older than you, but more wise? doubt that. You do not encourage someone with debilitating mental issues to get married. You have to work out your own problems, on your own time, before you decide to share your life with someone else. Maybe "back in the day" it was acceptable to marry like that, but we live in a different time now; you cannot dump your personal problems on someone you just met bacause you think they can help or it will work itself out. thats extremely selfish.

Although I agree that Macaca should make the decision to marry on his own (when he's ready) and that it shouldn't be influenced strictly by the opinions of elders, I think that you're way off about the rest. We don't know what his diagnosis is, so it's a bit presumptuous to assume that it's "debilitating"...it could be some form of depression or even an anxiety disorder, which plenty of people these days have. If he's seeing a therapist and is back on medication for his condition, that means that he's definitely trying to "work out his own problems", not that he's trying to dump them on someone else that he just met (in fact I don't think that he said that either).

What would be selfish is if he decided not to tell a girl that he had medical/psychological issues out of fear that they'd reject him or whatever. Let's say that his health issues are chronic...if he's open and honest about them with his future wife from the beginning, why shouldn't he be allowed to get married? Just because he has psychological issues? Plenty of mentally unwell people fall in love and get married all the time.

[TrentReznor858]

xoxo said:

Although I agree that Macaca should make the decision to marry on his own (when he's ready) and that it shouldn't be influenced strictly by the opinions of elders, .

Well that should be common sense, but common sense isnt all that common.

xoxo said:

I think that you're way off about the rest. We don't know what his diagnosis is, so it's a bit presumptuous to assume that it's "debilitating"...it could be some form of depression or even an anxiety disorder, which plenty of people these days have. .

If it is severe enough to get him in trouble at work and ultimately fired, any person would call that debilitating. Also, just because many people have mental issues, it does not negate the seriousness of the issue.

xoxo said:

If he's seeing a therapist and is back on medication for his condition, that means that he's definitely trying to "work out his own problems", not that he's trying to dump them on someone else that he just met (in fact I don't think that he said that either). .

He never said hes seeing a therapist, or that hes conclusively back on his meds. Just paying lip service to the idea is different from actrually implementing it.

xoxo said:

What would be selfish is if he decided not to tell a girl that he had medical/psychological issues out of fear that they'd reject him or whatever..

.....which is usually what happens. on a daily basis.

xoxo said:

Let's say that his health issues are chronic...if he's open and honest about them with his future wife from the beginning, why shouldn't he be allowed to get married? Just because he has psychological issues? ..

Honestly i have no words for this. Please reread what you wrote, and think about it as deeply as you can. People with debilitating psychological issues should not be talking about getting married. period.

xoxo said:

Plenty of mentally unwell people fall in love and get married all the time.

did you really just write that out? Millions of people worshipped statues, buried their daughters alive in the sand, and murdered innocent people just because they could. It doesnt matter how many people do it, its still wrong, selfish ,and dangerous.

[kababqueen]

TrentReznor858 said:

If it is severe enough to get him in trouble at work and ultimately fired, any person would call that debilitating. Also, just because many people have mental issues, it does not negate the seriousness of the issue.

Not necessarily. I take plenty of sick days when I have the flu or an upset stomach and neither of those are particularly debilitating. And I'm not saying that his situation isn't serious, either. Which is why I said that it's presumptuous to have an opinion on it one way or another. Btw, mild depression and anxiety are more easily manageable and probably less likely to interfere with one's work life (for the most part) than paranoid schizophrenia or OCD, so not all psychological conditions are the same.

Quote

He never said hes seeing a therapist, or that hes conclusively back on his meds. Just paying lip service to the idea is different from actrually implementing it.

If you had read his posts, you would have seen that that's exactly what he said...that's he's seeing a Muslim therapist for over a year, and on meds. So what are you going on about then?

Quote

.....which is usually what happens. on a daily basis.

But he didn't say that he's planning to do that, or that he has done that. So what's your point? Because some people with mental illness lie about it, all of them do?

Quote

Honestly i have no words for this. Please reread what you wrote, and think about it as deeply as you can. People with debilitating psychological issues should not be talking about getting married. period.

You're wrong. I work for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities, nothing even close to what Macaca is probably dealing with. They fall in love and get married and have happy lives...so if someone like that can manage it, why can't a person that doesn't have such serious issues and is on meds/in therapy do the same? You should be the one to think as deeply as you can, and hopefully then you will realize that just because a person has some psychological issues, this doesn't mean that they should never marry. If he's honest with his future wife about it and she accepts it, what problem do you have?

Quote

did you really just write that out? Millions of people worshipped statues, buried their daughters alive in the sand, and murdered innocent people just because they could. It doesnt matter how many people do it, its still wrong, selfish ,and dangerous.

Do you have serious comprehension problems? What the hell are you even talking about? How is this situation analogous to people murdering other people, or people doing things because other people did them??

He never said that his problems are that serious, so we can't conclude that they are, or that he's ill enough to hurt himself or others. You're assuming too much.

This post has been edited by xoxo: 08 July 2010 - 08:10 PM

[Macaca]

TrentReznor858 said:

Dude.....what? Those people may be older than you, but more wise? doubt that. You do not encourage someone with debilitating mental issues to get married. You have to work out your own problems, on your own time, before you decide to share your life with someone else. Maybe "back in the day" it was acceptable to marry like that, but we live in a different time now; you cannot dump your personal problems on someone you just met bacause you think they can help or it will work itself out. thats extremely selfish.

On the work front, all is well! getting good hours, I like my job, and my coworkers

I wasn't intending on getting married so I can dump my personal problems on someone "I've just met." I pray Allah swt doesn't take your job and co-workers away for the words you have said about me. I'm not even going to front, your words are like a knife to my chest.

But my condition (at the time) was debilitating enough that I couldn't do my job properly. Alhamdulillah, I am doing much better and have been doing better for quite some time now. I started doing intense exercise and that with lots of prayer and trying to make sabr, and alhamdulillah I am doing much better.

Brothers and sisters, keep me in your du'a regarding marriage and regarding my iman and akhirah and whatever duas you make for me I pray Allah gives you the same and more.

[jigglypottamus]

The shock and horror that assaults my mind every Sunday evening.

[ChotooMotoo]

When there is a power outage affecting our building and power isn't restored until 9am the next day, you darn well better check to make sure all the nodes booted properly

[kababqueen]

Yesterday I was with one of the guys I counsel, who has mental retardation and some behavioral problems as well. Anyways I was giving him his meds and he noticed my wedding ring and asked if I was married. I said "yes" and then he asked if I had any kids. I said "no" and he said "good". I asked him why it's good that I don't have any children, and he said "cuz sometimes they come out disformed, like me".

That was the most depressing thing I've ever heard in my life. I've been working here a year now and these things still bother me. Sighhh

[jigglypottamus]

why didnt you slap him?

[bravotwozero]

Hahah, I'm sure that would go down really well at work.

[jigglypottamus]

what? i thought women still had the (moral?) right to slap a jerk if he said something really ungentlemanly and repulsive like that?

[kababqueen]

Why would I react that way? Once again, he's mentally retarded. As in, he suffers from a developmental disability.

[jigglypottamus]

xoxo said:

Why would I react that way? Once again, he's mentally retarded. As in, he suffers from a developmental disability.

oh sorry I didn't know how bad it was. I've seen and worked with autistic people, most of them aren't all there, but some are there enough to know better.

[kababqueen]

Where did you work with autistic people? I work with a few of them now and some of them are quite intelligent and independent.

anyway, I don't think that his intention was to be offensive towards me. I think that he's just frustrated with his lot in life, and that's why he's saying that it's good that I don't have any children, because if I were to have them, they could potentially come out abnormal like him.