[kababqueen]

zakk said:

you should never ever turn your back on someone who's claiming homicidal tendencies.

edit: I meant in a literal sense, he could direct them at you. fun times.

in most cases that's true, but this individual is in the mild range of intellectual/developmental disability, is quite high-functioning and independent, and is on medication/in therapy, so nearly all of his behaviors are well-controlled (basically, he's quite stable/safe to be around on a day to day basis)...plus i didn't have reason to believe that he was fully intent on hurting anyone, much less myself b/c he's a very gentle sort of person...and since counselling is done one-on-one, there wasn't anyone else around to monitor his movements at the time, while i reached for the paperwork (threatening to kill his family was bizarre even for him and i needed to document exactly what he was telling me verbatim from the very beginning).

but luckily, he made it to the bus stop, changed his mind, and then came back to the residence and apologized. phew!

[princesszz]

i wanna acknowledge all the finance people out there. i don't think i cud shoulder the stress of ur job. . today, there's was a huge financial crisis at work. it was definitely stressful situation. what i learned that people get all stiffed with $$ and don't even reflect before pointing fingers. alhamdulilah for having a well established trust worthy character where it can comes handy as a shield.

i was almost in tears when things weren't going well. it wasn't the $, but how ppl around me reacted. in essence, i didn't care much abotu the overall issue, b/c i knew that it wasn't my fault.

and as usual, i tried lighting up the situation with the humour--it worked for sometime..then it didn't. one of my coworkers is just always rready to criticize me in anything i do. she has a poker face. i can barely read her. i keep giving her the benefit of the doubt. (muslim mentality? Or victim mentality?) but after today..i can't believe that she even SAID To my face.

but al hamdulilah for a cool boss who understands me well. i hope that she stays that way..and is not influenced by malicious ppl like the above girl.

[RestlessSoul]

princesszz said:

i wanna acknowledge all the finance people out there. i don't think i cud shoulder the stress of ur job. . today, there's was a huge financial crisis at work. it was definitely stressful situation. what i learned that people get all stiffed with $$ and don't even reflect before pointing fingers. alhamdulilah for having a well established trust worthy character where it can comes handy as a shield.

i was almost in tears when things weren't going well. it wasn't the $, but how ppl around me reacted. in essence, i didn't care much abotu the overall issue, b/c i knew that it wasn't my fault.

and as usual, i tried lighting up the situation with the humour--it worked for sometime..then it didn't. one of my coworkers is just always rready to criticize me in anything i do. she has a poker face. i can barely read her. i keep giving her the benefit of the doubt. (muslim mentality? Or victim mentality?) but after today..i can't believe that she even SAID To my face.

but al hamdulilah for a cool boss who understands me well. i hope that she stays that way..and is not influenced by malicious ppl like the above girl.

that's definitely true. when I was in high school I used to work as a cashier, and one day this couple paid for a $2,500 computer all in $20 bills I may have screwed up counting them all or something because at the end of the day, I was coming up short $100 on how much my register was supposed to have in it. My manager and I spent a good thirty minutes trying to see if I misplaced a hundred dollar note or something. Worse situation b/c it was new years eve and he had to stay late b/c of me. Alhamdullilah though he never once suspected (or at least said) that I had stolen the $100.

[princesszz]

RestlessSoul said:

that's definitely true. when I was in high school I used to work as a cashier, and one day this couple paid for a $2,500 computer all in $20 bills I may have screwed up counting them all or something because at the end of the day, I was coming up short $100 on how much my register was supposed to have in it. My manager and I spent a good thirty minutes trying to see if I misplaced a hundred dollar note or something. Worse situation b/c it was new years eve and he had to stay late b/c of me. Alhamdullilah though he never once suspected (or at least said) that I had stolen the $100.

Awww that would have sucked! Mine was around $6000 post dated cheque which was cashed..in the bank...one month before ...and and there was no trace of it in our system. but it was under my list of transactions for the month (ie the pt claimed that she gave the cheque to me to which i remember clearly. she did.. i still don't know what to make of it.

[princesszz]

so, this guy (patient) was hitting on me at work. :barf: he tried so hard to come out as flattering, gentleman type..(basically: his entire biodata in two hours shot! he was saying..how he's the type caring, he doesn't smoke, he's only 27, he's well established, he can't find the perfect person etc..he's a family oriented guy-loves his mom, and sisters..he has a good character-hardly socializes with "other guys", loves going to masjid etc..) . nomatter what the questions were. (even the medical history questions..he would re-direct his answers and give back egocentric replies. ). i hate to be disrespectful, but i kept nodding my head.

at the end of the interview. i ran out of the room..telling him that i'll get the psychologist to review the forms. he was like..'dont' worry, she'll come by. even then, he tried so hard..tryin' to get info from me..as to where i'm from, where is my fam etc.
in my head, i was more like " sucker! i can't wait to leave."

and just before we were parting at the exist..he told me, since he has my number. he'll call me when he needs me for his next appointment. i told him not to bother with my number..the company will call me. (I hope, I never get to interview him. EVER AGAIN!)

NOTE TO SELF: WEAR A BIG FAT STONE NEXT TIME! TO KEEP AWAY THE CREEPS LIKE HIM!

I almost felt like blaming myself..for subjigating myself to his creepiness. seriously! I know, I shouldn't feel the guilt, but I can't help it! I used to be smart and i used to rock a ring all the time until i developed skin sensitivity and i kept losing my rings. I'd forget the rings in the bathrooms whereever, i'd make wudu. so stop wearing them and sometimes, when i do clinical work. it's annoying to find a place to keep it away!

This post has been edited by princesszz: 18 March 2010 - 08:19 PM
Reason for edit: spelling. forget the grammarrrrr.

[princesszz]

GOOD NEWS: i wasn't anticipating for my boss' email any time soon. to my surprise, i just got her email.

my work contract has been renewed again for the summer. al hamdulilah wah shukr.
i'm super happy at the same time, I think I am a complete idiot. i need to stop with my workaholism. and start focusing on schhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooool. but it is not easy as that since, i love both. its hard to choose from. since my work is my life (it's dental. )

[princesszz]

wow. since none else is participating in this thread-it almost seems like my work blog.

watever. it's cool.

i bumped into the dean of the d school i work at, in the mall. when i asked her, what was she doing there. she said, she was getting her hair done and wanted to go to the spa and stuff. so she can look professional and fresh for the monday. this monday is the accreditation day. she considers it the most important day especially for her. i can see why.

i don't know if it was fact or rumors. but i heard our med school lost it's accreditation. it sucks. but heyyyyyyyy, i hope it doesn't happen our d school. inshaAllah. they'll (m-school) get it back. so last week or so..things have been so intense. we have been preparing for this day. remember the whole finances stuff..had to put some elbow grease to it. lol ..the rearragenement of the office and stuff..lots of work..hopefully, it'll pay for !

i used to quarrel with my boss in a jest about having to wear dresspants when dark denim is readily worn by everyone nowadays, why can't they just accept it as a profesional wear? also b/c my closest used to be all-just denim. lol. (shes cool. al hamdulilah. we talk about stuff).

but i think, on monday. i gotta wear some very professional clothing. a blazer? ewwwwwwwwwwe? may be?

what would you wear? i donno wanna come off as a sore thumb.

[Macaca]

I got in a lot of trouble at work recently.
I got two written warnings.

One warning was because I asked my supervisor to say things in a nice way (I wrote it in an email). This was considered disrespectful so I got warned...and then I got another warning because I had to take a week off because I was (and still am) very sick. Alhamdulillah, it's nothing physical, but it's a different kind of sickness. InshaAllah I will get better.

I'm still going to work although the symptoms make it hard for me to even do my job at all. Living on my own now, but my illness may force my mother to come and live with me or I go live with her. If I don't get better soon, I don't know how I will be able to do anything. I just want to live a normal life, be a normal person, get married..but I don't know if I will be able to do that. This illness may be the reason for it.

I like my job, it is not stressful but sometimes I think I am being discriminated against. In fact, I am sure of it.

I recently found out that if I quit my job (which I don't want to do no matter what) or if I get fired, I still have to go to court and have a hearing to see if I can get unemployment benefits.

[princesszz]

Macaca:

Health: Sorry to hear that. . InshaAllah you'll feel better. If you've visited any physicans--I am sure, a note from a doc should be sufficient for you to have a couple of weeks off? No?

Also, your position is it union-ized Or are you on contract? If former, then I suggest you should speak to your union leader. They should help you out. If by contract, there's human resources dept, you can rely on--but still, it's hard to get some sort of compensation going if you're on contract.

plz let us know how things go?


Discrimation: You aren't the only one. I was discrimated against for the gayest! yes lamest things EVER. being a student. who has heard of that before? There are times, I can't bite my tongue, so I told my reason. it's proposterous! then she blamed it on her boss. seriously, i am not a fool-esp when you know they are lying to you.

InshaAllah--You know your rights--if worse comes to worse, use them.

[Macaca]

Salam Aleikum. Jazak Allah khair for your reply.
Well, the thing is I live in the US and there are very few unions here, including at my job. The HR person wants to look out for the company's interest, not mine. Right? That's how I see it working here.

Physician-that's the thing. It's mental, not a physical illness. It's really tough subhanAllah, but inshaAllah things will get better. I am getting treatment (not medication) but unfortunately I'm still stuck where I am. Things get better for a while, but then after a lot of stress I get worse. The sad part about it is, I was taking medication but one of the reasons I wanted to stop was because I was worried about a girl hesitating to marry me/not marry me at all because of this stuff. I will go back to the medication very soon, but even then I had a lot of problems and at work some people are understanding, some aren't.

[Caramel_Candy]

may Allah [swt] ease you away from this illness, iA. ameen. please don't stop taking medication due to any negative connotation that may be associated with it. it really helps people feel "normal" and like themselves again. [depending on what your treating, of course]

[princesszz]

Macaca said:

Salam Aleikum. Jazak Allah khair for your reply.
Well, the thing is I live in the US and there are very few unions here, including at my job. The HR person wants to look out for the company's interest, not mine. Right? That's how I see it working here.

Physician-that's the thing. It's mental, not a physical illness. It's really tough subhanAllah, but inshaAllah things will get better. I am getting treatment (not medication) but unfortunately I'm still stuck where I am. Things get better for a while, but then after a lot of stress I get worse. The sad part about it is, I was taking medication but one of the reasons I wanted to stop was because I was worried about a girl hesitating to marry me/not marry me at all because of this stuff. I will go back to the medication very soon, but even then I had a lot of problems and at work some people are understanding, some aren't.

walikum asalam bro,
I am not a dr. but there are good drs on board you can ask for advice. I think, any educated girl who will like you for your personality. will marry you inshaAllah. if she's educated and open minded. she will not considered mental illness to be taboo and instead she'll treat it as a physical illness and will anticipate for it to heal with time just like physical illness.

i donno know what you have. some of the mental illnesses can be due to chemical imbalance (it's a whacked generatlization. and dr.s here might fail me for saying that. ). but that's beside the point. if you take your meds. it'll help maintain that balance and inshaAllah you'll feel much better. i personally don't like that fact that you're compromsing your health for a non existence potential. she's not here. she will be. when she is. Allah swt will put rahma in her heart to accept you whole heartedly.

meanwhile. even the psychiatrits/psychologist shud give u a note. i've worked with post trauma (or faked ppl who claim to have mental instability-scam for insurances) and they are allowed to take time off from work.

i dont see why you can't? since your problem is real. may Allah swt make things easy for you. plz keep me in your duas and i'll keep you in mine.

ps post in dr's thread. islamica has some nice docs. they shud help u out and some nice lawyers too

wasalaams.

[Macaca]

princesszz said:

walikum asalam bro,
I am not a dr. but there are good drs on board you can ask for advice. I think, any educated girl who will like you for your personality. will marry you inshaAllah. if she's educated and open minded. she will not considered mental illness to be taboo and instead she'll treat it as a physical illness and will anticipate for it to heal with time just like physical illness.

i donno know what you have. some of the mental illnesses can be due to chemical imbalance (it's a whacked generatlization. and dr.s here might fail me for saying that. ). but that's beside the point. if you take your meds. it'll help maintain that balance and inshaAllah you'll feel much better. i personally don't like that fact that you're compromsing your health for a non existence potential. she's not here. she will be. when she is. Allah swt will put rahma in her heart to accept you whole heartedly.

meanwhile. even the psychiatrits/psychologist shud give u a note. i've worked with post trauma (or faked ppl who claim to have mental instability-scam for insurances) and they are allowed to take time off from work.

i dont see why you can't? since your problem is real. may Allah swt make things easy for you. plz keep me in your duas and i'll keep you in mine.

ps post in dr's thread. islamica has some nice docs. they shud help u out and some nice lawyers too

wasalaams.

Wasalaam.
Well, I'll just say this about my condition, it is not schizophrenia or any of its forms, or any kind of bipolar disorder.
Yes, you're right..why do this for someone I haven't even met yet? The thing is, there WAS a girl who matched with me (as far as likes/dislikes, practicing deen), and I guess I thought if I was off the meds then maybe that would be less of a reason to be turned down. But I also had quit the meds because they were starting to not be as effective, especially after I experienced a lot of stress at work due to what (I think) is discrimination. I had decided to take a week off due to the intense mental symptoms after that stress at work, and then I used that time to wean myself off the drug, but it was so awful, beyond words, that I had to go back on. I realized a sister will have to accept me for who I am, including my flaws. And i have to make peace with the fact that I may be on some kind of medication (not antipsychotics or anything like that) for the rest of my life. I'm back on the medication almost at the same level as I had taken when I first started and alhamdulillah I did feel a bit of relief today.

Wallahi, I wish I was more "normal" and didn't have these problems and whatnot. It is hard to do my job with the symptoms I have; I can't remember how many times I would just stare at the screen at work instead of working due to the mental anguish I was experiencing at the time;it's no fun. As far as quitting the job, I don't want to but I will have to see how things go. I don't want to quit, but if I were ever to do that it would be either if I found a new job or this current job is causing a lot of stress for me, making my mental symptoms worse and I am not able to do my job. I'm definitely not able to do my job properly now but inshaAllah I'll improve.

Jazak Allah khair.

[Macaca]

Salaam Aleikum.
I got fired today.
So you know, it is a mixed blessing because I want to go back to school and I really could not function at the job due to the mental problems. They gave me 2 weeks trial about two weeks ago and I really was not improving so I went in early today, handed in some things and left and then filed for unemployment. They were accomodating in some ways yes, but I definitely felt they did some back-handed things. Like when I asked for time off and said if you do not let me I won't take it, they let me take it, THEN they gave me a final warning...that doesn't sound like correct HR procedure does it?
I feel an intense nervousness but insha'Allah that will go away.

There were two girls that were found for me through the masjid that I guess I "matched" with but both rejected me hehe. One girl did because she got cold feet about marriage and the other really was adamant I be an arab (I'm not) so that was that. But insha'Allah something will work out. I'd like to be married and go to school, I think it's doable.
Wasalaam.

[Wolfn]

My co-worker is such a ******. Yesterday, I was scheduled till 11:30 (midnight if customers got busy). The overnight worker came in at 11:30 and started her work. Me and my coworker got all our work done, and we were ready to go at midnight. I make myself my sandwich and clock out, while my co-worker clocked out earlier than me. As I'm walking out the door, I say to the overnight worker "I'm off, have a good night". She then snaps at me saying "No, you're not. Clock back in. You've got more work to do". I didn't get out till 12:30 am.

[Mozlem]

Macaca, since you are dealing with mental problems that are debilitating enough to prevent you from holding a job, you really ought to take care of yourself before delving into marriage. Do you have access to healthcare through your old employer? Or is there a community clinic you could go to? Best of luck to you.

[vegetables]

I just gave 2 weeks notice. The president of the company lectured me for 2 hours about how theyre going to make me a partner, giving me another raise & equity in the company; then when i still politely decline: "Your resignation is unacceptable. You're really burning a bridge here. If anyone calls for a reference I'm going to tell them you're irresponsible." Good times...

[Macaca]

PhDGirl said:

Macaca, since you are dealing with mental problems that are debilitating enough to prevent you from holding a job, you really ought to take care of yourself before delving into marriage. Do you have access to healthcare through your old employer? Or is there a community clinic you could go to? Best of luck to you.

Hahaha....jazak Allah khair, but no regarding the health care. So I got fired about 3 days ago right, and yesterday I got mail from Group Health (The crappy health care in my state that I got through work), saying I am not covered anymore. Do you live in Canada? Becuase in America, as soon as you lose your job (in most cases), you also immediately lose health care coverage.
I guess you are right about the marriage thing, but people (older and wiser than both of us) have told me to go ahead for the marriage thing because that could help me. At the same time, I don't know if I can be a good husband as is...well I haven't even found anyone yet, and those "matches" that were found both girls turned me down (one was because I was not arab and she insisted on that), the other just got cold feet about marriage.
But now I'm confused about marriage >_<

I'm already on medication and seeing a really good muslim psychologist, and I've been seeing him for over a year...since then it has been an up and down regarding my mental condition. If it will never be stable...how can I marry?

[Mozlem]

That seems odd that you wouldn't be covered from the last day of employment. It's likely that you've already paid the premium for the month (since premiums are prospective). I'd get some clarity on that from HR. Do you qualify for reduced rates for COBRA?

[bravotwozero]

vegetables said:

I just gave 2 weeks notice. The president of the company lectured me for 2 hours about how theyre going to make me a partner, giving me another raise & equity in the company; then when i still politely decline: "Your resignation is unacceptable. You're really burning a bridge here. If anyone calls for a reference I'm going to tell them you're irresponsible." Good times...

Dang that sounds like a sweet offer. I guess you really couldn't stand that job.