[hijabihoodlum]

ok ok, this thread probably existed in the old islamica and we probably beat the topic to death there too. but what the hey, right?

it's at least relevant to me, because i don't know about you guys, but i have at least a couple good friends who are males. that doesn't mean that i call them up every day or that they are my go-to hangout buddies. but i do expect them to uphold my reputation when i'm not around, make dua for me, and overall just wish the best for me deen-wise. i, of course, would do the same.

isn't that the point of meaningful friendship? because that's what i thought it was.

[Jamroll]

Can't this be discussed in the other thread?

[Timbit]

Who cares? The old Islamica is gone and lost to us forever and it's not like we never had repeats on there. The "search: its your friend" thing doesn't apply anymore.

The other thread is specifically about opposite-sex friendships after marriage.

hijabihoodlum: I already gave my two cents in that thread, but don't we wish the best for everybody anyway? Generally?

I dunno if that's what friendship is about. My friends are people who I talk to/hang out with regularly. Or if not all the time, they're people who I'm close to. For example, one of my best friends lives on the other side of the country and we don't talk very often, but when we do, we talk a lot. And she's just generally somebody who knows me well and I know her well; we feel close to each other. I don't have that kind of relationship with any men; my close friends all just happen to be women. Also, I don't think it's possible to have that kind of relationship with somebody of the opposite sex and still have it be platonic.

[hijabihoodlum]

Jamroll said:

Can't this be discussed in the other thread?

are you calling me fat?

[Jamroll]

hahaha lol, no seriously. This can be discussed in the other thread.

Thread closed.

[hijabihoodlum]

Jamroll said:

hahaha lol, no seriously. This can be discussed in the other thread.

Thread closed.

but that one is about after marriage, specifically.

[Jamroll]

hijabihoodlum said:

but that one is about after marriage, specifically.

There's like 3 people on Islamica who are married, and two of them are married to each other! Do we reeeally need to have a separate thread for them, and one for everyone else?

[Timbit]

Jamrullah is going all moderator on us. In the other thread, he was all like: What relevance does this have to the point?!

[Jamroll]

I do have targets to meet, you know.

I'm not meeting my monthly quota of closed threads. Don't blame me, I'm just doing my job.

Oh, and you're fired!

[hijabihoodlum]

Jamroll said:

I do have targets to meet, you know.

I'm not meeting my monthly quota of closed threads. Don't blame me, I'm just doing my job.

Oh, and you're fired!

thanks for derailing my thread within minutes of its creation, JAM. i'm not fired; YOU'RE fired.

[Timbit]

Okay, how about I derail lots of threads for you and then you'll have lots to close?
For good measure, I can start a sectarian flame war.

EDIT: Okay, sorry... I did try to answer your question hijabihoodlum. I'm gonna stop now.

[Jamroll]

hijabihoodlum said:

thanks for derailing my thread within minutes of its creation, JAM. i'm not fired; YOU'RE fired.

lol, i was juss askin', honest injun.

anyway with regards to your question, and the OP... sure why not? We might as well have a pool party, and invite our ex-boyfriends, and ex-girlfriends, heck even invite the neighbours.

Wait... didn't I type the exact same post in the other thread? Oh yeah, because this is a duplicate!!!!!!

[hijabihoodlum]

Jamroll said:

lol, i was juss askin', honest injun.

anyway with regards to your question, and the OP... sure why not? We might as well have a pool party, and invite our ex-boyfriends, and ex-girlfriends, heck even invite the neighbours.

Wait... didn't I type the exact same post in the other thread? Oh yeah, because this is a duplicate!!!!!!

first, your face is a duplicate.

second, you know, while it's true that some seemingly benign actions lead to worse ones- say, like, messing around with marijuana can lead to further drug exploitations/addiction, it's just not true of many things in life. eating a cookie does not lead to eating a whole cake, for example. and if it does, sometimes, the root problems are much different than just (having a friend of the opposite sex)- they might be more in the realm of, oh, say, self control, parental issues, etc. basically, jam, i don't like your example (didnt like it in that thread, don't like it in this one either

so until you come up with a better example, and a better explanation to boot, i'm gonna have to say you fail. i mean, your face fails. or whatever the latest greatest diss on islamica is. : )

[Salika]

hijabihoodlum said:

ok ok, this thread probably existed in the old islamica and we probably beat the topic to death there too. but what the hey, right?

it's at least relevant to me, because i don't know about you guys, but i have at least a couple good friends who are males. that doesn't mean that i call them up every day or that they are my go-to hangout buddies. but i do expect them to uphold my reputation when i'm not around, make dua for me, and overall just wish the best for me deen-wise. i, of course, would do the same.

isn't that the point of meaningful friendship? because that's what i thought it was.

I expect that and would do that from/for any Muslim (barring any reason not to, like if they were true to a bad reputation, I wouldn't go and tell people no he's a good guy).

Though I don't expect them to make dua for me specifically all the time, if I asked someone to make dua for me, male or female, I would hope they would and I would do the same.

[sally]

wait wait what does having a friend of the opposite sex have to do with somebody making dua for you and wishing you well?

i am sooooo lost

[ChotooMotoo]

I have a friend of the opposite sex. I'm pretty sure he's also gay. He's super nice. I give him rides home, and we help each other with homework and such. I even went to lunch with him after my exams (with other people too of course, but I wanted to sound scandalous).

Mr. ChotooMotoo knows all about it too. Before my exams he even said "why don't you call so and so and see if he can meet you to help study for the exam."

Mr. ChotooMotoo is and you know, yesterday he washed the dishes for me cuz I cut my thumb really bad when I was slicing tomatoes. He didn't want my finger to get infected.

ramble on...

[m_ali_qazi]

ChotooMotoo said:

Mr. ChotooMotoo knows all about it too. Before my exams he even said "why don't you call so and so and see if he can meet you to help study for the exam."

keep in mind, this is something a husband allows while compromising his feelings

[ShotgunMessiah]

m_ali_qazi said:

keep in mind, this is something a husband allows while compromising his feelings

Not if you're secure in your marriage.

[ChotooMotoo]

m_ali_qazi said:

keep in mind, this is something a husband allows while compromising his feelings

I think his feelings about passing my exams superseded any jealousy he might have felt. Sides, it's not like I say "Hey Mr. ChotooMotoo, do you mind sitting at home sad a lonely while I go gadding off with my male friends" that would be truly awful.

What would I do with male friends anyway, other than study?

[LEGALEAGLE]

ChotooMotoo said:

I think his feelings about passing my exams superseded any jealousy he might have felt. Sides, it's not like I say "Hey Mr. ChotooMotoo, do you mind sitting at home sad a lonely while I go gadding off with my male friends" that would be truly awful.

What would I do with male friends anyway, other than study?

get them to do the dishes whilst you and hubby go out...