[ChotooMotoo]

zakk said:

well your name is chotoomotoo. are you cute and delicious as well?

Cute, yes. Delicious.... well my Auntie used to say that when I baked cakes, I don't need to add any sugar, just put my finger in the batter becuase I'm so sweet.

[zakk]

cool. right now I might fall into the delicious category because I have masala coming out of my pores.

come to think of it, I'm short and fat too. I guess I should bust out the bare minerals and work on the cute part.

[vegetables]

Not funny just weird as hell...

I was coming home on the subway and theres this paki dude sitting across from me. Then this uncle dude just starts ranting to me in urdu for about 10 minutes..something about jews and kafirs.. on a crowded train ; little did he know that Im a cultural deviant and don't understand urdu.

[jigglypottamus]

When we were in highschool, a common conversation of the eyes, followed up with a statement from the lips would be like this:

Me, going up the stairs.
Friend of mine, making out with his girl, coming down the stairs.

Me and him lock eyes, letting only our eyes move, both of our eyes locked in a twisted sneer .... and then right when we were both abreast, with me going upstairs and him facing downstairs ... I'd just belt it out:

"You are ... SO unbelievably UGLY."

And then I'd keep walking up the steps.

[nooni]

TariqBinSleepin said:

HOly crap are you serious? YOu shoulda taken off your chappal and gone, Heres you're present. What were you wearing by the way, just curious.

maybe ur the weird guy she was talking about

Sapphire said:

me: "But Jesus was arab wasn't he?"
Dude: "I thought Jesus was Jewish "

loool

hes neither.

zakk said:

so, apparently the batteries in the flashlight leaked.

Haneef: MOMMY! The battery did hagoo in the flashlight!!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL soooo cute!!

[Songbird]

At my last job -- and in my pre-Hijab days -- I used to go power-walking during my lunch-break, and once this guy looked at me up and down and said "Nice --- love" to which I replied "You know, you're really very ugly", and to which he retorted "And you're just a f'ing stuck up b---". Yeah, like tell me something I don't know.

Gotta love the Aussie male.

[Rain]

i can't find the cracked out IM thread, anyhow, here's my msn convo with Bluestar (Bluestar: Ragga muffin, Me: Immortalised):

immortalised says:
k, sen t i t
Ragga muffin says:
go t i t
immortalised says:
we like talkin about t i ts huh
Ragga muffin says:
ahahahahhaha

[AM415]

my sister: wow, ____ is now studying to be an Aalim and ___ started wearing the hijab?
me: yeah
my sister: things have changed so much since I left
me: yeah, for the good...make the connection?


and an old classic one:

brother: I have to memorize the periodic table
dad: You should get help from your brother, hes smart
brother: Hes not smart, and I can do it myself
me: Dude, listen to your dad...I'm smarter than you'll ever be
brother: oh yeah? Then whats Mt?
me: your head.
dad:

[Sha_]

My 9 year old neice talking about her school friends:

Her: You know zoe?
Me: No
Her: She doesn' t like pork or ham or sausages..
Me (half jokingly): Tell her to become Muslim
Her (totally serious): I already did
Me: Oh. What did she say?
Her: Unfortunately, her mum's Christian.

Not really funny, but I totally wasnt expecting her to say that .

[BaronChairman]

Bluestar said:

inshallah text me

...................

I also share a house with a 6 month old baby.

me: when you grow up littlebug, you ain't being nasty to girls, ok?
A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

me: yup, you've got to treat girls with respect, ok?
A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

me: and no fornicating, do you hear?
A: *silent*

me: oi?
A: aaaaaaaaaaa

I hate conversations like that. Little kids know everything. But they refuse to tell you anything. By the time they learn to talk, they've forgotten most of what they used to know. By the time they grow up, they've forgotten even more. This is why adults are so stupid.

[shsh]

me hanging out with two friends. one knows urdu, the other doesnt.

me: *handing the camera to my desi friend* pukro
friend who doesnt know urdu: what did you say?
me: pukro. why?
friend: oh...i thought you said **** a roo
me: what the hell are you on?

[RestlessSoul]

background: a local desi restaurant recently closed their chicago branch for remodeling. my cousin and I were driving looking for a place to eat, and we weren't sure if they had opened back up or not, so we decided to call their number to check.

restaurant employee: Hello, this is Italian Express Bolingbrook (a suburb >30 miles away).
cousin: bolingbrook? we dialed your chicago location's number.
employee: Oh, the number has been rerouted. our chicago branch is closed until next month.
me (leaning over and yelling into the phone): But do you still deliver to chicago?

[shsh]

RestlessSoul said:

background: a local desi restaurant recently closed their chicago branch for remodeling. my cousin and I were driving looking for a place to eat, and we weren't sure if they had opened back up or not, so we decided to call their number to check.

restaurant employee: Hello, this is Italian Express Bolingbrook (a suburb >30 miles away).
cousin: bolingbrook? we dialed your chicago location's number.
employee: Oh, the number has been rerouted. our chicago branch is closed until next month.
me (leaning over and yelling into the phone): But do you still deliver to chicago?

do they?

[marjanih]

AM415: my sister: wow, ____ is now studying to be an Aalim and ___ started wearing the hijab?
me: yeah
my sister: things have changed so much since I left
me: yeah, for the good...make the connection?

AHHAHAHAHA!


shadha-

[shsh]

me: my hair was being knotty this morning
friend: it was probably just static
me: what?
friend: was it attracted to a hot guy? it was probably because you brushed it a lot and there was static...you know all the electrons and stuff....it wasnt being naughty...
me: i meant knotty....like knot...ty........nevermind.....

[Rida]

shsh said:

do they?

They don't deliver at all..

[Timbit]

Rida said:

They don't deliver at all..

Bastards.

[muslimahpower]

out of nowhere...
ilikemyscarf: who has two ears?
her sister: why do u say that like its abnormal?

[Deel]

an msn conversation with a fellow islamican..

her: *hides alcohal*
me: alchohol*
me: no need to hide; it's ok i have some
her: yeah tht
her: u wud no how to spell it
her:
me:
me: THEY MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR
her: WHO?
her: THE VOICES?
me: yeah the voices
her: :eek:
her: those b*tchessssss
her:

i love my friends

[shsh]

Deel said:

an msn conversation with a fellow islamican..

her: *hides alcohal*
me: alchohol*
me: no need to hide; it's ok i have some
her: yeah tht
her: u wud no how to spell it
her:
me:
me: THEY MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR
her: WHO?
her: THE VOICES?
me: yeah the voices
her: :eek:
her: those b*tchessssss
her:

i love my friends

voices: we love you too