Cracked Out Real Life Conversations

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Cracked Out Real Life Conversations Rate Topic:

#21 jigglypottamus

I'm your daddy and I didnt give you permission to talk.

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Joined: 19-June 02

Posted 12 November 2007 - 12:26 AM

Timbit said:

Omg, that is weird. Marry him or his son. :flower:

When I used to work at this grocery store, some customers would offer to find me a boyfriend/husband.

When I used to work at Bell, I had aunties hitting on me all the time, on the phone, trying to pick me up for their girls.

Seriously I don't know wassup with people ... they see you single and all of a sudden they get this irresistible urge to try and hook you up.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

.:[ maverick007.wordpress.com ]:. .:[ What's going on, Eh? ]:.

#22 Deel

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 12:35 AM

heba said:

him: so are you married?
me: no
him: me neither. wanna get married?
me: no
him: wanna marry my son?
me: no.

oh hell no :eek:

i'd totally go off

ok this isn't really a conversation
but yesterday i went grocery shopping with my mother and grandmother,
as we were walking out, a man was walking in so he held opened the door for us.
i was in front, so he looked at me first.
him: Hi there..

(he winked :eek:

)
me: thank you.
him: how are you *moves eyebrows up and down*
me: *i walk faster*
so then he looks at my grandmother who is walking out the door next
him: hi mama

.
her: *confused look*
him: how are you

her: fine...thank you.. :flower:

men

When Sulayman ibn AbdulMalik visited Makkah, he asked if anyone was present who met the companions of RasulAllah (saw). "Abu Hazim," they replied. "Why is it that we dislike death? Why is it we don't want to die?" Sulayman asked. Abu Hazim replied, "Because you have built and established this world and you have destroyed your Aakhirah, so you hate to go from what you have established to what you have destroyed."

#23 TariqBinSleepin

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Joined: 03-October 07

Posted 12 November 2007 - 01:14 AM

heba said:

today at work some old ass arabic fob man sees my name tag (this convo was in arabic but ill translate)

him: heba..youre arabic?
me: yes..
him: from where?
me: lebanon
(proceeds to ask a million questions about my village and last name and typical arab stuff)
him: so are you married?
me: no
him: me neither. wanna get married?
me: no
him: wanna marry my son?
me: no.
him: wanna go back to beirut with me?
me: no
him: are u gunna marry from lebanon or canada
me: i dunno
him: marry someone from lebanon
me: no

etc etc..
he was creepy. my manager had to save me lol

ROFLMAO NOW thats fUNNY!!

"A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry." [Al-Bukhari; Book 47, No. 47.3.12]

"There is a smile on my face, but somewhere deep inside tears are sleeping in my eyes. the world does not know that how much this smiling face has cried."
-

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC].

#24 TariqBinSleepin

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Joined: 03-October 07

Posted 12 November 2007 - 01:15 AM

Deel said:

oh hell no :eek:

i'd totally go off

(he winked :eek:

)
me: thank you.
him: how are you *moves eyebrows up and down*
me: *i walk faster*
so then he looks at my grandmother who is walking out the door next
him: hi mama

.
her: *confused look*
him: how are you

her: fine...thank you.. :flower:

men

Were not all so bad

#25 jigglypottamus

I'm your daddy and I didnt give you permission to talk.

Group: Members
Posts: 7,124
Joined: 19-June 02

Posted 12 November 2007 - 02:38 PM

Neo says: now i've had a whole bunch of them checking my profile for the last few weeks
Salmaan says: lol
Neo says: naseeb is a funny place
Salmaan says: so i hear
Neo says: amazing how much more chilled out the shia girls are
Neo says: than the guys
Salmaan says: they know sunni guys are more loyal
Salmaan says: same thing with xtian chicks
Neo says: true
Salmaan says: or hindu chicks
Salmaan says: they all go for sunni guys
Salmaan says: loyalty is what they want, a man who'll stick around
Neo says: truth
Neo says: yep
Neo says: wow there's some hot chicks on naseeb today
Salmaan says: who knew the Sunnah could be such an attraction factor
Salmaan says: damn, wow
Neo says: LOL

both of us: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA :flower:

#26 Timbit

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 02:40 PM

IbnMardhiyah said:

Salmaan says: they know sunni guys are more loyal

Is this really true?

:lovepant:

#27 LEGALEAGLE

Stop being two-faced

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 02:40 PM

IbnMardhiyah said:

....

ain't that the truth...

#28 jigglypottamus

I'm your daddy and I didnt give you permission to talk.

Group: Members
Posts: 7,124
Joined: 19-June 02

Posted 12 November 2007 - 02:47 PM

Timbit said:

Is this really true?

As compared to non-sunni, or non-Nuslim guys, ... yes.

I dunno if you girls have any idea how good you have it ... and how other non-Muslim girls are so jealous of you [even if they're hating on your hijab or whatever] ... ask them if they'd rather have a loyal man / husband than what they have right now and they'll say "OH GOD, DAMN YESSS!" so fast it'll make your head spin.

Alhamdulillaah for Islam.

#29 LEGALEAGLE

Stop being two-faced

Group: Members
Posts: 3,655
Joined: 16-November 05

Posted 12 November 2007 - 02:51 PM

IbnMardhiyah said:

True.

Timbit it's completely true. You'll find out how true when I visit Kaneda.... :lovepant:

#30 Rain

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 03:14 PM

#31 sally

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 03:25 PM

This isn't very funny. But neither are more than 3/4ths of the posts in here.

We went to Party City for Mehendi/Henna party supplies. I was with my friends British cousin who's visiting and we were extremely sleep deprived and absolutely loaded with work needing to be done and most of all, hungry.

Myself to the cashier: Do you guys have paan leaves? Please tell me you have paan leaves. I don't want to go to anymore stores.

Her: Umm, what?

Me: Ok never mind, bye.

We left the store and were cracking up because her facial expression was priceless. It was pretty dark outside and there was maybe like one more couple in the parking lot who gave us the weirdest looks known to mankind. So we get in and the cashier lady comes running. I'm thinking, what the heck? My friend rolled down her window and the lady just handed her her cellphone that she forgot inside.

#32 sally

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Joined: 10-March 02

Posted 12 November 2007 - 07:02 PM

I was trying to wake up my friend in the morning and she's one heavy sleeper.

Me: Dude, wake up. A hurricane is supposed to hit the city in a couple hours and we need to evacuate NOW!

(worked like a charm)

#33 Anderson

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Posted 12 November 2007 - 07:12 PM

I was walking with my little brother and out of nowhere he started acting out a scene from heroes, with all the voices- Peter Petrelli, the Irish girl. lol that was well funny.

Cheesecake and webcams.

#34 zakk

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 02:41 PM

so, apparently the batteries in the flashlight leaked.

Haneef: MOMMY! The battery did hagoo in the flashlight!!!!

I am happy, I am relaxed. I am happy I am relaxed. I am happy I am relaxed!
Posted Image

#35 marjanih

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 09:55 PM

So it's dumb early in the morning and my dad comes knocking on the door, opening it, and starts his stuff...

"It's Fajr time. Let's go lazy. Get up. It's Fajr time......it's Fajr time.....IT'S FAJR TIME! Not hammer time, but FAJR TIME! It's FAJR TIME yeaaahhh it's FAJR TIME! FAJR TIME!".

*under my pillow* "Oh my god you NEED to leave."

:look:

shadha-

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
BREAST CANCER

#36 ChotooMotoo

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:05 PM

So, this weekend I went home, and my sister, her husband, her old roomate and me were all driving to my mom's house. Apparently she and her old roomate (who is male) and this other guy all got hungry long long ago, and had no money. My sister had a solution to this problem. She called up the pizza place, and did this phone sex voice. Apparently this worked, becuase it was a delicious pizza and arrived in record time. When the pizza arrived, her two male roomates opened the door. The delivery guy had a total deer in the headlights look.

My sister never told this story to her husband. IT was really funny to see his reaction to the news that his wife once got free pizza by pretending to be a phone sex operator.

Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

#37 Itz

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:13 PM

dinner:

*me cutting whole chicken*

me: "mmm my favorite piece is the wing, it's so little and cute!"
sister: "thats a weird way to describe something you're about to eat....."
me: "well maybe i should've used different wording.."
sister:"or maybe you should just keep weird stuff like that to yourself"
me:"shut up! I don't have to explain myselves to you!......err myself...."

yeah it doesn't sound that funny now but it was funny then :look:

I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain.
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky
For you and I.

#38 jigglypottamus

I'm your daddy and I didnt give you permission to talk.

Group: Members
Posts: 7,124
Joined: 19-June 02

Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:30 PM

iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu said:

me: "mmm my favorite piece is the wing, it's so little and cute!"
sister: "thats a weird way to describe something you're about to eat....."

... isnt that why we love to eat little babies? :look:

Cute, little, plump and delicious. :faint:

#39 ChotooMotoo

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Joined: 17-January 06

Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:31 PM

IbnMardhiyah said:

... isnt that why we love to eat little babies? :look:

Cute, little, plump and delicious. :faint:

hmmm.... veal.....

Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito!

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.