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Cracked Out Real Life Conversations


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#41 ChotooMotoo

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:36 PM

well your name is chotoomotoo. are you cute and delicious as well?


Cute, yes. Delicious.... well my Auntie used to say that when I baked cakes, I don't need to add any sugar, just put my finger in the batter becuase I'm so sweet.
Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito!


Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

#42 zakk

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:38 PM

cool. right now I might fall into the delicious category because I have masala coming out of my pores.

come to think of it, I'm short and fat too. I guess I should bust out the bare minerals and work on the cute part.

I am happy, I am relaxed. I am happy I am relaxed. I am happy I am relaxed!
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#43 vegetables

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:50 PM

Not funny just weird as hell...

I was coming home on the subway and theres this paki dude sitting across from me. Then this uncle dude just starts ranting to me in urdu for about 10 minutes..something about jews and kafirs.. on a crowded train :faint:; little did he know that Im a cultural deviant and don't understand urdu.

#44 jigglypottamus

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 10:57 PM

When we were in highschool, a common conversation of the eyes, followed up with a statement from the lips would be like this:

Me, going up the stairs.
Friend of mine, making out with his girl, coming down the stairs.

Me and him lock eyes, letting only our eyes move, both of our eyes locked in a twisted sneer .... and then right when we were both abreast, with me going upstairs and him facing downstairs ... I'd just belt it out:

"You are ... SO unbelievably UGLY."

And then I'd keep walking up the steps.

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.


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#45 nooni

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 11:02 PM

HOly crap are you serious? YOu shoulda taken off your chappal and gone, Heres you're present. What were you wearing by the way, just curious.


maybe ur the weird guy she was talking about :faint:

me: "But Jesus was arab wasn't he?"
Dude: "I thought Jesus was Jewish ;) "


loool

hes neither.

so, apparently the batteries in the flashlight leaked.

Haneef: MOMMY! The battery did hagoo in the flashlight!!!!


LOOOOOOOOOOOOL soooo cute!!
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nahnul haqu nahnu thawra ... ou homma as-hab al feel


#46 Songbird

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Posted 14 November 2007 - 11:28 PM

At my last job -- and in my pre-Hijab days -- I used to go power-walking during my lunch-break, and once this guy looked at me up and down and said "Nice --- love" to which I replied "You know, you're really very ugly", and to which he retorted "And you're just a f'ing stuck up b---". Yeah, like tell me something I don't know.

Gotta love the Aussie male.
"Now, Alan, if all else fails and you think you've lost... pretend you've won! Works for our president. " Denny, Boston Legal.

#47 Rain

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Posted 15 November 2007 - 04:31 PM

i can't find the cracked out IM thread, anyhow, here's my msn convo with Bluestar (Bluestar: Ragga muffin, Me: Immortalised):

immortalised says:
k, sen t i t
Ragga muffin says:
go t i t
immortalised says:
we like talkin about t i ts huh
Ragga muffin says:
ahahahahhaha

#48 AM415

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Posted 15 November 2007 - 05:15 PM

my sister: wow, ____ is now studying to be an Aalim and ___ started wearing the hijab?
me: yeah
my sister: things have changed so much since I left
me: yeah, for the good...make the connection?


and an old classic one:

brother: I have to memorize the periodic table
dad: You should get help from your brother, hes smart
brother: Hes not smart, and I can do it myself
me: Dude, listen to your dad...I'm smarter than you'll ever be
brother: oh yeah? Then whats Mt?
me: your head.
dad: :cool:
Be like a rose which gives its fragrance even to those who crush it - Ali (RA)

#49 Sha_

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Posted 16 November 2007 - 02:32 PM

My 9 year old neice talking about her school friends:

Her: You know zoe?
Me: No
Her: She doesn' t like pork or ham or sausages..
Me (half jokingly): Tell her to become Muslim
Her (totally serious): I already did :flower:
Me: Oh. What did she say?
Her: Unfortunately, her mum's Christian.

Not really funny, but I totally wasnt expecting her to say that :monkey:.

In these sour times, Please allow me to vouch for mine
Bitter taste in my mouth, Spit it out with a rhyme
Im losing my religion to tomorrows headlines
Abu Ghraib.., -Sorry mate?
..Nah nothing, its fine..


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#50 BaronChairman

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Posted 17 November 2007 - 11:52 AM

inshallah :) text me :flower:

...................

I also share a house with a 6 month old baby.

me: when you grow up littlebug, you ain't being nasty to girls, ok?
A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

me: yup, you've got to treat girls with respect, ok?
A: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

me: and no fornicating, do you hear?
A: *silent*

me: oi?
A: aaaaaaaaaaa


I hate conversations like that. Little kids know everything. But they refuse to tell you anything. By the time they learn to talk, they've forgotten most of what they used to know. By the time they grow up, they've forgotten even more. This is why adults are so stupid.
I'm sorry if my insensitivity toward your beliefs offends you. But guess what - your religious wars, jihads, crusades, inquisitions, censoring of free speech, brainwashing of children, murdering of albinos, forcing girls into underage marriages, female genital mutilation, stoning, pederasty, homophobia, and rejection of science and reason offend ME. So I guess we're even.

#51 shsh

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Posted 17 November 2007 - 12:24 PM

me hanging out with two friends. one knows urdu, the other doesnt.

me: *handing the camera to my desi friend* pukro
friend who doesnt know urdu: what did you say?
me: pukro. why?
friend: oh...i thought you said **** a roo
me: :flower: what the hell are you on?
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#52 RestlessSoul

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Posted 19 November 2007 - 10:46 PM

background: a local desi restaurant recently closed their chicago branch for remodeling. my cousin and I were driving looking for a place to eat, and we weren't sure if they had opened back up or not, so we decided to call their number to check.

restaurant employee: Hello, this is Italian Express Bolingbrook (a suburb >30 miles away).
cousin: B) bolingbrook? we dialed your chicago location's number.
employee: Oh, the number has been rerouted. our chicago branch is closed until next month.
me (leaning over and yelling into the phone): But do you still deliver to chicago?

#53 shsh

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 08:54 AM

background: a local desi restaurant recently closed their chicago branch for remodeling. my cousin and I were driving looking for a place to eat, and we weren't sure if they had opened back up or not, so we decided to call their number to check.

restaurant employee: Hello, this is Italian Express Bolingbrook (a suburb >30 miles away).
cousin: :evil: bolingbrook? we dialed your chicago location's number.
employee: Oh, the number has been rerouted. our chicago branch is closed until next month.
me (leaning over and yelling into the phone): But do you still deliver to chicago?


do they? :lol:
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#54 marjanih

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 10:07 AM

AM415: my sister: wow, ____ is now studying to be an Aalim and ___ started wearing the hijab?
me: yeah
my sister: things have changed so much since I left
me: yeah, for the good...make the connection?


AHHAHAHAHA!

;)
shadha-

#55 shsh

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 01:50 PM

me: my hair was being knotty this morning
friend: it was probably just static
me: what?
friend: was it attracted to a hot guy? it was probably because you brushed it a lot and there was static...you know all the electrons and stuff....it wasnt being naughty...
me: :what: i meant knotty....like knot...ty........nevermind.....
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#56 Rida

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 04:03 PM

do they? :explode:


They don't deliver at all.. :blobred:
He Attained Exaltation By His Perfection
He Dispelled Darkness By His Beauty
Beauteous Are All His Qualities
Benediction Be Upon Him And His Family

#57 Timbit

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 04:14 PM

They don't deliver at all.. :what:


Bastards.


:explode: :blobred:

#58 muslimahpower

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 07:36 PM

out of nowhere...
ilikemyscarf: who has two ears?
her sister: why do u say that like its abnormal?:roar:

#59 Deel

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Posted 20 November 2007 - 07:39 PM

an msn conversation with a fellow islamican..

her: *hides alcohal*
me: alchohol*
me: no need to hide; it's ok i have some
her: yeah tht
her: u wud no how to spell it
her::roar:
me: :o
me: THEY MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR
her: WHO? :-/
her: THE VOICES? :(
me: yeah the voices :eek:
her: :eek::eek:
her: those b*tchessssss
her: :D

i love my friends :D
When Sulayman ibn AbdulMalik visited Makkah, he asked if anyone was present who met the companions of RasulAllah (saw). "Abu Hazim," they replied. "Why is it that we dislike death? Why is it we don't want to die?" Sulayman asked. Abu Hazim replied, "Because you have built and established this world and you have destroyed your Aakhirah, so you hate to go from what you have established to what you have destroyed."

#60 shsh

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Posted 21 November 2007 - 08:49 AM

an msn conversation with a fellow islamican..

her: *hides alcohal*
me: alchohol*
me: no need to hide; it's ok i have some
her: yeah tht
her: u wud no how to spell it
her::monkey:
me: :o
me: THEY MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR
her: WHO? :lol:
her: THE VOICES? :D
me: yeah the voices :p
her: :p:eek:
her: those b*tchessssss
her: :D

i love my friends :lol:


voices: we love you too :confused:
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