[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

I'm not really worried about my (future) husband getting a second wife.. It's not one of my primary concerns. It just seems kind of unlikely

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Do you consider polygyny a form of abuse???

I said cheating, polygyny and abuse. Meaning I consider them all separate issues.

[SyedShoaib786]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

No. Not at all. An unspoken agreement is nothing more than a matter of perception which may or may not be accurate. Even a spoken agreement isn't on the level of a written one. This is why Muslims are urged specifically to put things in writing.

Further, if a man seeks a second wife after agreeing in a contract that he wouldn't, that isn't unlawful; it just gives the first wife the right of whatever stipulation is provided in the contract (she can divorce him, she gets something else in exchange, whatever).

yeah thats why marriage contracts are wanted^...but does Allah need it in order to judge?...nope...if a wife brings about a verbal agreement with her husband, and later on her husband denies it...without witnesses theres not much that can be done except counseling...but none the less the man will be brought in front of Allah for his deception

and breaking a non-verbal agreement is what is known as being "misleading"...which can also be dealt with by Allah ta'ala...that was the point i was trying to make...anyways

[SyedShoaib786]

taking a 2nd wife can be a form of abuse if you can not give her her due rights

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by SyedShoaib786

taking a 2nd wife can be a form of abuse if you can not give her her due rights

True.
I wouldn't stick around for the abuse part of it.

If my hypothetical husband were really finding it that hard to be loyal to me, then okay... he's free to get another wife. I don't want to force anybody to be monogamous with me. And I think it'd be really crappy of a man to force a woman to be in a polygynous relationship with him. So he should just release the first wife from his nikkah if she doesn't care to be in it.

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by SyedShoaib786

taking a 2nd wife can be a form of abuse if you can not give her her due rights

a promise does not become a right.


fulfilling promises and fulfilling her due rights are two separate issues.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

If the guy was adament that he wanted a second wife he could just divorce the first (or would a woman be happy her husband only refrained because of the stipulation in the contract ) The easiest thing to do would just be to stipulate that you have the right to divorce. That covers everything.

Good idea.

Originally Posted by SyedShoaib786

yeah thats why marriage contracts are wanted^...but does Allah need it in order to judge?...nope...if a wife brings about a verbal agreement with her husband, and later on her husband denies it...without witnesses theres not much that can be done except counseling...but none the less the man will be brought in front of Allah for his deception

and breaking a non-verbal agreement is what is known as being "misleading"...which can also be dealt with by Allah ta'ala...that was the point i was trying to make...anyways

Yepppppp. It's either deception (if he had the intention to take on a second wife all along) or reneging on a promise (if that wasn't his intention at the beginning, but he just happened to meet somebody else). Or both, actually. Nothing you can do about it in a court of law here (except try to get a divorce anyway), but Allah is most Just.