[Ayooshi]

I always thought it was impermissable......


Question: If a person of the opposite sex greets you with the Islamic greeting, do you have to reply to it, even if you are put to some discomfort by it?

It is obligatory to reply to the greeting of peace given by a Muslim, regardless of whether that Muslim is a man or woman.

Allah says: “If you are addressed with a greeting, then reply with a greeting that is better or return the (same) greeting.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 86]

However, when replying to the greeting given by a member of the opposite sex, one must take care to reply in a suitable manner that is free from flirtation or innuendo.

The ruling is different regarding initiating salutations of peace with members of the opposite sex. It is merely permissible to do so when there is no fear of temptation. In the case where there is fear of temptation for either party, which is often the case when a young man greets a young lady, it should be avoided. As long as no temptation or mischief is feared, then there is no objection to initiating greetings with members of the opposite sex.

The proof for this is what is related by Asmâ’ bint Yazîd that: “the Prophet (peace be upon him) passes us – we were a group of women – and he greeted us with peace.” [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (5294) and Sunan Ibn Mâjah (3701)]

Sahl b. Sa`d related: “There used to be an old lady among us who, on Friday, would harvest greens. When we departed from our Jumu`ah prayers, we would greet her with peace.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (938)]

And Allah knows best.

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Rahmân b. Ibrâhîm al-`Uthmân, professor at al-Imâm University

[Sim]

Originally Posted by Ayooshi

The ruling is different regarding initiating salutations of peace with members of the opposite sex. It is merely permissible to do so when there is no fear of temptation. In the case where there is fear of temptation for either party, which is often the case when a young man greets a young lady, it should be avoided. As long as no temptation or mischief is feared, then there is no objection to initiating greetings with members of the opposite sex.

key part when i walk by sisters i generally dont give salam...it doesnt bother me if they did, i just am cautious of making people feel awkward.

[jinnzaman]

When a girl looks at me, I usually stare at them. Then I cautiously walk up to them and steal their toys and claim them as my own. I've done this since I was around 2. It works for me!

[m_ali_qazi]

Originally Posted by Ayooshi

However, when replying to the greeting given by a member of the opposite sex, one must take care to reply in a suitable manner that is free from flirtation or innuendo.

what would a wsalam that is full of flirtation/innuendo be like?

[ChotooMotoo]

I reply to salams I receive, but I usually don't give them to guys. I get all tongue tied and such. Most of the time I don't even notice when someone walks by me because I"m usually concentrating on something to the point that I'm oblivious to the world around me.

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by m_ali_qazi

what would a wsalam that is full of flirtation/innuendo be like?

Hmm.... I dunno, but lets' try:

"Hey... walaikum salam brother, how are you, long time no see. You wanna go out for coffee later?" while she's talking, she puts her hand on his shoulder and/or gives him a hug.

Or maybe one where the lady says walaikum salam, then looks at him suggestively and winks/giggles then walks away from him with exagerated hip movement or something.

*I've never seen any of the above*

[Timbit]

Usually, a salaams to somebody of the opposite sex doesn't even require you to say anything.

Mostly, I think men just pass by you and nod their head in acknowledgement (sometimes while smiling, sometimes with a lift of the eyebrows). You can nod your head back or smile. Or both.

[shsh]

if someone says salaam, i reply quietly. but i never initiate a salaam with a brother.

[Jaysh]

I think we should remember the story of Barseesa.

I think the permissibility of saying salams does not apply to us, since we are all young men and women.

[Timbit]

No, seriously though... a flirtatious salaams is when the person is like "Heeeeey, salaam alaikummm!" and act really excited to see you (usually have a big, goofy grin on their face).



Whatever.

You've all seen it. Or done it. Or whatever.

[Asvi]

i say salaam and respond back to both genders. i dont think theres anything wrong with it if you have the right intentions. I heard its rude to not reply back to a salaam.

It has been narrated from Abdur Rahmaan ibn Shayba; he says the Holy Prophet said, "A rider should give salaam to a walking person, a walking person should give salaam to a seated person, a small group should give salaam to a larger group, whoever then responds to salaam, it is for his benefit, and he who does not respond to salaam, is not from amongst us." Ibn Sunni has narrated this and also Imaam Bukhari in his book Al Adabul Mufrad. On these bases Allama Nawawi in his commentary of Sahih Muslim has said, "To commence salaam is Sunnah and to reply is Wajib." Similarly Hafiz ibn Abdul Bar says, "It is an unanimous agreement of the Muslims that to commence Salaam is Sunnah and to reply is Wajib."

source

[Revert]

I used to never say Salam to sisters as i didn't want to come of as creepy. I was helping a customer at work (who was a Msulimah) and she asked me about a cake and if it had any Haraam ingredients in it. I said no as I am Muslim and have checked. She seemed upset that i didn't give salams and she said salaam to me but in a kind of upset way. After that I say Salaams to Muslimah customers, but not random sisters in the mall..that would be creepy.

[dreamdeferred]

Originally Posted by m_ali_qazi

what would a wsalam that is full of flirtation/innuendo be like?

That would be the 'Asalaam Alaykum Joey style' ( from Friends) ....as in "How you doin' ?!".... except in muslim format......it's doable AND insanely inappropriate lol.


I always return salams and offer them to sisters and brothers alike but refrain from going out of my way to offer them to sisters I don't know or have no business with.

[Islamic_Women]

I tend to avoid the opposite sex, because most of the guys I see are like 50. And when there is a cute younger guy I'll smile, but I won't say anything. There this guy at the shop I work at. He's always in this cafe. He always says hello to me and when i leave the shop to take a break he follows. He's like 50. So it's like creepy

He only follows me when I'm alone. I've been told by numerous people to avoid him. My sister told me to cuss him out in Somali but that's just mean.

I am totally creeped. He's probably the reason I avoid guys. And I can't say the lowlifes hanging around the mall didn't help.

[Ayooshi]

Asalamu Alaikum,

Originally Posted by Sim

key part when i walk by sisters i generally dont give salam...it doesnt bother me if they did, i just am cautious of making people feel awkward.

I was always instructed by my dad never to say salaam to non-mehrams. So i never did, I just always assumed it wasn't permissable.

Now, I still think its better to be on the safe side, and just not say Salaam.

Originally Posted by m_ali_qazi

what would a wsalam that is full of flirtation/innuendo be like?

I'm not sure. Never actually witnessed one.

Fi AmanAllah