Saying Salam to the Opposite Gender

[Jaysh]

I just want to reiterate that I myself give salams. I am just defending those who take the other position. We should respect them for their caution and piety.

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

I just want to reiterate that I myself give salams. I am just defending those who take the other position. We should respect them for their caution and piety.

It's one thing to do it, or not do it for your own reasons. It seemed like you were telling people that they shouldn't give salams, and that's I think what people took issue with.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

I just want to reiterate that I myself give salams. I am just defending those who take the other position. We should respect them for their caution and piety.

i'd like to clarify that i was not attacking those who refrain from salaaming out of caution and piety. more power to them. my post was more in regard to a general frustration with this infatuation young muslims have with gender relations as if there's nothing else to islam. i feel like we tend to place so much of our focus on looking in a certain direction, standing a certain way, talking a certain way and etc, that we forget WHY we do it in the first place.

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

i'd like to clarify that i was not attacking those who refrain from salaaming out of caution and piety. more power to them. my post was more in regard to a general frustration with this infatuation young muslims have with gender relations as if there's nothing else to islam. i feel like we tend to place so much of our focus on looking in a certain direction, standing a certain way, talking a certain way and etc, that we forget WHY we do it in the first place.

I'd like to clarify that I am not nor have I ever had illicit relations with Jinnzaman.

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo

It's one thing to do it, or not do it for your own reasons. It seemed like you were telling people that they shouldn't give salams, and that's I think what people took issue with.

I personally think it is a stronger view not to give salams, and I respect those who take that position....I don't follow that opinion just out of my own shortcomings...insha-Allah once I get married, I'll become more strict in that matter.

I don't wish to berate those who think that they can give salams. Rather, I am saying that we should all agree that those who do not do that are to be commended for their piety and caution.

Thank you.

[spicyhijabi]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

I'd like to clarify that I am not nor have I ever had illicit relations with Jinnzaman.

You're crazy.
I mean that in a good way, not in a mean way.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

Rather, I am saying that we should all agree that those who do not do that are to be commended for their piety and caution.

No dice.

Where did these people get their idea from that giving salaams to the opposite gender is prohibited?

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

No dice.

Where did these people get their idea from that giving salaams to the opposite gender is prohibited?

The scholars? And it is not only about prohibition, but even discouragement.

Weren't you the one talking about taqleed in the other thread? Read:

In the case where there is fear of temptation for either party, which is often the case when a young man greets a young lady, it should be avoided.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Jaysh, please cite any support for the idea that its prohibited or discouraged for one to give salaam to the opposite gender.

Thank you.

[thejellymill]

I'm sorry but I would think this is pretty common sense and part of common courtesy. I've noticed a lot of people (professors and fellow students alike) who normally greet me with salaam outside the masjid don't even bother to look up or reply to my salaam when I'm in or near the masjid. I personally feel it's quite rude and a double standard...

I understand the whole "no mixing" thing and nobody's advocating walking over the women's side or men's side to purposely greet the opposite sex but what's wrong with a little salaam when casually passing by a brother or sister, for example in the main hall where all the shoes are (even if he/she is a stranger)? Some people take things waaay too far.

Originally Posted by m_ali_qazi

what would a wsalam that is full of flirtation/innuendo be like?

what i was wondering too

[Salika]

Hmm, I know some scholars have ruled that one is not obliged to answer the salams to the opposite gender, but prohibition or discouragement, that I don't recall. I'll check my books...

edit: ok, here is a forum that cites a sunnipath website that apparently states that the Shafi madhhab prohibits it but I was taught otherwise. Allahu alam.
MuslimVillage Forums > Communicating With The Opposite Gender

Anyways, our communities have bigger issues guys...

[jinnzaman]

Why can't people just accept there's ikhtilaaf on certain issues?

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by jinnzaman

Why can't people just accept there's ikhtilaaf on certain issues?

NEVER (sadly that really is how lots of people think)

[vegetables]

if you only say salam to ugly girls i dont see what the problem is

[jinnzaman]

Originally Posted by vegetables

if you only say salam to ugly girls i dont see what the problem is

If an ugly says salam to me, I'm like "Astaghfirullah! Lower your gays!"

But if she's a hot hijabi, i'll be like "oh hey, wa alaikum assalam" and use up my one free look.


(I'm just kidding)




(sort of)