[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by Tairra

no its not haram, you have the proof yourself, thats should be enough. But I will add this, again parenst influence and such. I mean its good to keep it limited but its not haram. A lot of people go by traditions and such and what people say. We muslims must not just go by what people say you must search for yourself, starting with the quran. I mean its kinda sad how people are like well brainwashed into such things, I mean this isnt bad (the salaaming) but otehrs things. and like saudi culture yeah its like really bad if they talk. I was told that guys would throw their number at you in order to try to talk to you, lol.

The Saudi culture is much more closer to Islam than the Western "MSA culture".

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

is temptation really all people think about? like people really can't put their hormones in check for two seconds just for a simple "peace be upon you" ?

Ok let's make this simple for you.

Do hot girls exist?

Yes.

Would there be thoughts when guys say salams to such hot girls?

Yes.

So 99% of women might be ugly, but there are 1% that are hot, and so there is always a chance of fitnah due to that 1%.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

Ok let's make this simple for you.

Do hot girls exist?

Yes.

Would there be thoughts when guys say salams to such hot girls?

Yes.

So 99% of women might be ugly, but there are 1% that are hot, and so there is always a chance of fitnah due to that 1%.

hot guys exist, too. but that doesn't mean you can't put aside your "issues" for a mere two seconds to salaam someone.

i think we're all capable of at least that much self control. how is it possible to fast for hours and hours during ramadan and control your urges, but you can't control it for a quick salaam/head nod/whatever other form of acknowledging the existence of another muslim PERSON in your vicinity.

do we always have to see the world as "men, women, sex and fitnah" all the time? why can't we just see each other as people, brothers and sisters in islam? isn't a salaam really a du'aa? when you salaam someone, isn't it in effect saying "May the peace and tranquility which Allah bestows upon His creations also be showered upon you?" have muslims really sunk to such a low level that we can't keep our pants in check when we're making a simple du'aa?

does this mean we can't smile at each other either because of the fear of fitnah, when smiling itself is an act of charity?

but in any event, 70 excuses and such.

[Ayooshi]

Originally Posted by Tairra

no its not haram, you have the proof yourself, thats should be enough. But I will add this, again parenst influence and such. I mean its good to keep it limited but its not haram. A lot of people go by traditions and such and what people say. We muslims must not just go by what people say you must search for yourself, starting with the quran. I mean its kinda sad how people are like well brainwashed into such things, I mean this isnt bad (the salaaming) but otehrs things. and like saudi culture yeah its like really bad if they talk. I was told that guys would throw their number at you in order to try to talk to you, lol.

Asalamu Alaikum,

Well, I didn't say anything about talking, Just the salaam part. Generally it says that its okay to say Salaam however if theres doubt in regards to the situation/person than its better to remain quiet.

In regards to what people say, I don't go for anyones point of view, my father always provides evidence and is generally thorough in what we can or cannot do, and his refraining me from saying salaam isn't something that is forbidden, rather its an extra precaution, as an un intentional situation may arise.

Allahu Alim

Fi AmanAllah

[Timbit]

I realized I've pretty much stopped saying salaams to random Muslims anyway. I don't feel a connection to people just 'cause they happen to share the same faith as I do. Sometimes I feel obligated to... but more often than not, I don't.

Btw, this whole "anything that leads to haraam is haraam"... Where do you draw the line?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Timbit

I realized I've pretty much stopped saying salaams to random Muslims anyway. I don't feel a connection to people just 'cause they happen to share the same faith as I do. Sometimes I feel obligated to... but more often than not, I don't.

Btw, this whole "anything that leads to haraam is haraam"... Where do you draw the line?

it's a slippery slope...

i make an effort to greet everyone.. male or female, muslim or not.. whether i actually say salaam/hello or just smile and nod, i try and do something, and that's for a few reasons.

- to try and get rid of the evil terrorist stereotype.. a simple smile can do a lot to get people to think outside the box.
- there's been several times we're i've been having a terrible day, but a smile or friendly hello from another person turned my day around
- it keeps you happier and more thankful overall. probably sounds gay but its true!
- there's reward in it if you do it with the right intention..

[Saja]

This thread made me think of:

'A look, then a smile,
then a nod of the head,
then a talk, then a promise,
then the warmth of the bed'

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

hot guys exist, too. but that doesn't mean you can't put aside your "issues" for a mere two seconds to salaam someone.

i think we're all capable of at least that much self control. how is it possible to fast for hours and hours during ramadan and control your urges, but you can't control it for a quick salaam/head nod/whatever other form of acknowledging the existence of another muslim PERSON in your vicinity.

do we always have to see the world as "men, women, sex and fitnah" all the time? why can't we just see each other as people, brothers and sisters in islam? isn't a salaam really a du'aa? when you salaam someone, isn't it in effect saying "May the peace and tranquility which Allah bestows upon His creations also be showered upon you?" have muslims really sunk to such a low level that we can't keep our pants in check when we're making a simple du'aa?

does this mean we can't smile at each other either because of the fear of fitnah, when smiling itself is an act of charity?

but in any event, 70 excuses and such.

Sorry to say this, but this is kaafir mentality.

Kufaar always say:

"Why can't you sit on a table with people who are drinking alcohol? You can't control your urges?"

or

"Why do your women have to wear hijab? Can't your men control their urges?"

etc etc.

Look, the proof is in the pudding. Look at your MSA. And tell me: is there or is there not fitnah? Is there not mad flirting and "affairs" going on?

Don't you think that these affairs wouldn't happen so often if everyone obeyed the strict purdah that was a part of our religion? A part of that purdah is that young men and young women do not greet each other.

[Salika]

Controlling the nafs for a second is hardly "kaffir mentality"

[Revert]

Help a brotha out. I don't understand how giving salaams is fitnah. I understand that some people are more self concious than others (hello ) but fitnah? Really?

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by Salika

Controlling the nafs for a second is hardly "kaffir mentality"

Nobody is saying not to control the nafs.

If you are thrust into a bar and onto a table with alcoholic drinkers, insha-Allah you will have the strength NOT to drink alcohol.

But this does not mean one can sit on the same table as those who drink, does it?

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by Revert

Help a brotha out. I don't understand how giving salaams is fitnah. I understand that some people are more self concious than others (hello ) but fitnah? Really?

Read the story of Barseesa.

What is interesting is that those who take all these precautions (i.e. not giving salams to young women) are usually the ones with the strongest control on their nufs, and yet the sinful--who have the least control on their nufs--are the first to criticize the strong ones by saying "what? you can't control your hormones for even a second?"

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

Nobody is saying not to control the nafs.

If you are thrust into a bar and onto a table with alcoholic drinkers, insha-Allah you will have the strength NOT to drink alcohol.

But this does not mean one can sit on the same table as those who drink, does it?

Ummm... how can you compare giving salams to being around people doing haram?

That makes no sense at all to me.

Whether you do, or don't give salams, fine. But to say giving salams causes fitnah? I'm sorry, I just don't see it.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

Ok let's make this simple for you.

Do hot girls exist?

Yes.

Would there be thoughts when guys say salams to such hot girls?

Yes.

So 99% of women might be ugly, but there are 1% that are hot, and so there is always a chance of fitnah due to that 1%.

I totally disagree.

There are plenty of hot Muslim chicks that I've said salams to without any such thoughts as you're implying. You just say salaams sincerely and genuinely do not show any passing interest in her. Look at the bridge of her nose or her forehead for a second when saying salams, and then go back to whatever the heck you were doing as if she's just some insignificant lowly serf.

That pretty much kills it right there.

What happens after that, [if it does] is a different story.

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo

Whether you do, or don't give salams, fine. But to say giving salams causes fitnah? I'm sorry, I just don't see it.

Look at any MSA for the proof.