[Timbit]

I agree with Sal. Why marry a man who makes you think you need to stipulate that in the first place? If you're not a fan of polygyny, don't marry somebody who's inclined towards it.
If you're a man who wants to eventually have more than one wife, don't marry a woman who wouldn't be cool with that. Make your intentions clear.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

It makes no sense to not want to marry a woman simply because she stipulated that she didn't want to be a co-wife, it's just a written confirmation of an understanding that both parties have. Polygamy happens a lot in my hometown (but only the salafis really do it ) so i guess for a woman who sees a lot of it it can be a GREAT concern, esp when there's idiots who just marry another woman in secret and salafis don't encourage meeting the potentional spouse more than a few times...so it's unknown terroritary really.

Perhaps the lesson here is not to be a salafi (lol, sorry!). I don't see the problem either way..divorce is always an option.

[Salika]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Ditto.

Even though I know I'd live and die with one woman only ... I'd still feel really disturbed if a prospective wife / fiancee asked me to sign away such a right of mine.

A right? How is it a "right?" Really, it's a privilege for those men who can handle it (and the Qur'an itself says that most men can not)... it's not a right.

In any case, I had all sorts of fun with my marriage contract.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

lol, salika, if you dont mind divulging such information, pm me

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Salika

A right? How is it a "right?" Really, it's a privilege for those men who can handle it (and the Qur'an itself says that most men can not)... it's not a right.

Because men do not have to seek permission from their first wife to marry a second. They already have that permission from Islam itself.

[Jamroll]

I think the desis on Islamica know that most of all this posturing is purely hypothetical, since polygamy is not something desis really practice. It's quite uncommon in our culture and you know it!!

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Because men do not have to seek permission from their first wife to marry a second. They already have that permission from Islam itself.

Lol Idiot

[Salika]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Because men do not have to seek permission from their first wife to marry a second. They already have that permission from Islam itself.

Right is not the same thing as permission. And even Islam's "permission" is very conditional.

For every right there is a duty, if it were husband's right, there must a duty on someone to facilitate that right such as the first wife being required to find her husband a co-wife.

[sally]

Originally Posted by Salika

In any case, I had all sorts of fun with my marriage contract.

if/when i write my marital contract, will you edit it for me?

[Salika]

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

lol, salika, if you dont mind divulging such information, pm me

Heh, will do, but for everyone's sake, polygamy was not a topic in our contract

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Because men do not have to seek permission from their first wife to marry a second. They already have that permission from Islam itself.

oo yes, way to go for a harmonious marriage. Guess if anyone followed that they wouldn't be a polygamist in the end anyway!

[Hanbali]

Originally Posted by Salika

A right? How is it a "right?" Really, it's a privilege for those men who can handle it (and the Qur'an itself says that most men can not)... it's not a right.

Do you think a man marrying one wife is a "right" or a "privilege" ?

Do you think a woman marrying a husband is a "right" or a privilege" ?

I think most likely you will say the former, i.e. that it is their right.

Then why do you suddenly switch and say it is a privilege for a man to marry more than one wife?

[Salika]

Originally Posted by sally

if/when i write my marital contract, will you edit it for me?

hehhe ok, but I really recommend you take a fiqh class on marriage and divorce so you know your rights and responsibilities.

Also, there is a difference of opinion regarding this whole matter. Some scholars say that no such stipulation can exist and that at worst, the contract is violated and the man lied with respect to an oath, but the marriage is not invalidated automatically. A woman can conditionally have the right to divorce herself generally.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Salika

Right is not the same thing as permission. And even Islam's "permission" is very conditional.

For every right there is a duty, if it were husband's right, there must a duty on someone to facilitate that right such as the first wife being required to find her husband a co-wife.

Yes its conditional, no one is arguing about that. The duty that you are referring to is that which is already stipulated - that he has to treat both / all wives equally.

My point is that, by default men don't have to seek permission from their 1st to take a 2nd.