[Jasmina]

Salam everybody,

I am new to this forum. Not actually the person of forums, I just wanted to open the subject so that you people would hopefully give me some thoughts on death, which has been kind of burdening me lately. First of all I would just like to say that I haven't been brought up in a religious family, but quite an agnostic one. Originally I am from Croatia. I started learning about Islam gradually, after having some hard times in dealing with studding / working / goals achieving / making my parents proud pressure. And it turned out well for me, it gave me balance and direction.
Recently my dear uncle died at young age. I haven't been able to deal with that, nor has my mother and I would like to help her, but don't know how.
Also by understanding that I am not able to deal with death, I started to believe that my devotion isn't quite stabile, the way I would want it to be. Sometimes I think, only one thing could happen, for example, If I would loose my brother or parents I would not be able to cope with that, it would destroy me, quite literally. That fear makes me insecure. I know that religion is the only thing that can help me understand death (the natural side of it). In my family and friends circle, people are terrified when the subject is being broth up and they tell me not to talk about it. On the other hand, I don't want to worry them with it. But it is there, it can happen any time and I want to be prepared. I do not fear my own death or something like that, but that of my loved ones. Does anybody have some idea on literature, or things I could read that would be of benefit.
I hope my perspective on this thing is not too simple, I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go.
Thank you for your answers.

[brotherhood]

death is the cure of all diseases

[HiJaBi_ShAh]

Im going through the same thing. My grandmother passed away on Monday..and I dont understand how to react..im so stuck..im afraid im either gona break out real bad or keep it all locked inside me.

[ameen]

salam,

Please read a translation of the Qur'an in English, it should give you reassurance about death and the Hereafter. There are some at the top of this page:

http://www.sparklywater.com/sparklywater/links.html

[Revert]

Originally Posted by ameen

salam,

Please read a translation of the Qur'an in English, it should give you reassurance about death and the Hereafter. There are some at the top of this page:

http://www.sparklywater.com/sparklywater/links.html

Some good links there..I ahve been looking for the Arabic Dictionary one for a while (i lost the link) so thanks for sharing.

The Original Poster is Croation so maybe a translation on that language may help them more?

[Jasmina]

Originally Posted by Revert

Some good links there..I ahve been looking for the Arabic Dictionary one for a while (i lost the link) so thanks for sharing.

The Original Poster is Croation so maybe a translation on that language may help them more?

Thanks, It looks helpful.

I understand English well, so it is the same as reading in my mother tongue. I also can use the things written in German.

[Timbit]

I recommend Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood's "After Death, Life: Thoughts to Alleviate the Grief of All Muslims Facing Death and Bereavement."

[ameen]

Originally Posted by Jasmina

I also can use the things written in German.

salam,

These are German translations of the Qur'an, if you prefer them:

Translation

The Muslims Internet Directory: Quran Translation and search engine in German

[Jasmina]

Originally Posted by HiJaBi_ShAh

Im going through the same thing. My grandmother passed away on Monday..and I dont understand how to react..im so stuck..im afraid im either gona break out real bad or keep it all locked inside me.

I feel the same. I know it is the time to be strong, because it is the test, it is how life works. But it doesn't work for me. Especially because my uncle was 42 years old and left small children. He was there at one moment and another day he was gone. My grandmother died of cancer two months after him. And it all affected my mother's health.

[Jasmina]

Originally Posted by Timbit

I recommend Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood's "After Death, Life: Thoughts to Alleviate the Grief of All Muslims Facing Death and Bereavement."

Thanks, will order that one. I also found one online.

Originally Posted by ameen

salam,

These are German translations of the Qur'an, if you prefer them:

Translation

The Muslims Internet Directory: Quran Translation and search engine in German

great, thanks

[Revert]

Originally Posted by Jasmina

Thanks, It looks helpful.

I understand English well, so it is the same as reading in my mother tongue. I also can use the things written in German.

It seemed form your post that English was not as easy as your natiuve tongue would be. I'm sorry if I offended you, just trying to help

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Jasmina

I feel the same. I know it is the time to be strong, because it is the test, it is how life works. But it doesn't work for me. Especially because my uncle was 42 years old and left small children. He was there at one moment and another day he was gone. My grandmother died of cancer two months after him. And it all affected my mother's health.

inna lillaahe wa inna ilayhi raji3oun to your loss and to Hijabi_Shah's, may Allaah grant them all Jannatul Frirdaus.

We often live our lives blissfully oblivious to the fact that our time of death is already written beforehand. It could be today, it could be 50 years from now.

Just today me and my carpool buddies were coming back from work during rush hour when some kid slammed his car into the back of ours. Subhanallah, the only thing that really saved us was the fact that it was rush hour and traffic was going slower than usual, otherwise for me - sitting in the backseat working on my laptop - it might have been fatal. And I'm a pretty healthy 27 year old guy.

Ask yourself some hard questions:

- Do you accept that life is God's to give and take?

- Do you accept that God loves you and others more than your parents ever could? If a child's parents take something away from her because they know its better, then can God not do the same? The child doesn't understand until possibly much later, and in time you may understand too why your uncle died at such an age that he did.

- Do you accept that all along, was it really your uncle that was pulling in the money and provision for his family and young kids? Was he the master of his own fortune? Or was it God that was giving him whatever He wanted to give, out of His own Bounty? If so, then consider [and accept] the fact that if God was looking after your uncle and his kids then, then He will certainly look after those kids now, too.

Remind your mother of how she loves you so much and took such deep care for you when you were young [I hope that is the case] and remind her of those times when she took something away from you because she knew better and you didn't. Tell her that in time, as you grew up, you accepted her wisdom in what she did and now, ask her to have that same assurance in what God has taken away - because He knows best and we do not.

[Sabz]

As salaam u alaikum,

May Allah swt Make a place in jannah for all our deceased brotehrs and sisters. Ameen

Firstly think of why Allah swt has done this. At first you may feel guilty that you are asking such question as in "WHY Allah swt, Why me?" However Allah swt likes people who ask Questions. Also there is a difference in people asking ignorant questions and questions with an intention to find teh answer. If you ask to find teh answer and belive it then INshallah Allah swt will look kindly on you.

Once asking this question think of the positives to come out of this death. Yes at the time they may not seem to be any but Allah swt ALWAYS has a plan, which sometimes as humans we can not see but Subhanallah there is always one. Otehr positives is this; allah swt only tests those who He swt loves, therefore i would rather be tested and know i am loved then givien an easy life and be unaware of it. Also as you said that your afraid of not coping, Allah swt only gives as much as one can handle. So if you look at it from this prospective; that the harder the test is to you the more Allah swt thinks you can cope with it which Subhanallah is beautiful if Allah swt is telling you that He swt thinks you are strong.

Moreover You should take these tests with your whole heart and ask "What is Allah swt wanting me to do in this situation" and act accordingly. If your family is in trouble then pray ask forgivness and take it as a blessing that Allah swt has chosen you to test and not a loved one for example your child. Even brothers and sisters who do not have children would not want to wish any harm unto them. I put it like this; If there is an area filled with dry land with huge cracks within its surface (representing the tests) and you find your way through and build bridges, as soon as you turn your back on those bridges they will not fall! They are there built for future generations. Meaning that teh tests and lessons you learn will help your Inshallah children.

Lastly those people who have not yet had a huge test in their life please try to go on the straight path now. I say this because my family use to be very unislamic in a way that we did not commit sin yet we did not attempt our fard (obligations) and it took such a painful test to get my family on teh straight path that i am now ashamed of how we use to live. I am ashamed that Allah swt thought we needed such a big test to put us on teh straight path. On teh otehr hand this will not guarantee that allah swt will not test you but its better to be safe then sorry.

Walaikum as salaam
Sabz

I hope this helps you.

[Sea_of_Roses]

Im dealing with the death of my best friend.......its hard. Death makes life special though, try to consider it an inspiration rather than a burden on life

remember to Cherish the small things:

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

I'm sorry for your loss

Dealing with death is really tough...It seems like every year someone in my family dies. My dad, my uncle, my nana, both of my grandfathers all died in a pretty short period of time. People will say a lot of clichéd things that don't really help or mean anything, they'll also bombard you with various religious text which I hate to say doesn't really help either. For me it just takes time and distractions... I try to focus on other things, set goals etc... and definitely try to remain light hearted; sometimes you just have to laugh at life to make it bearable. Dwelling on things only makes you more depressed