[Hisham]

saalamalaikum,
The best solution for two people who love each other is marriage. This interesting excerpt is for anyone who falls in love but cannot marry for whatever reasons and yet do not involve in any sin. This is an excerpt from The Maidens of Paradise by Sheikh Zubair.

Ibn Abbas (rad) narrates that Prophet Muhammed (saw) said, “The person who falls in love, remains chaste, conceals this [from others], and dies is a martyr (shahid).”
[Some scholars have classified this hadith as weak. The famous scholar, Imam Nawawi in his introduction to the ‘arbain’ (40 hadith) that the scholars have agreed on the permissibility of using weak hadith for describing the virtues of actions. And Nothing is difficult to Allah]

Munawi explains that the love mentioned in the above hadith refers to a love with someone with whom marriage is possible and it is such a severe love that it affects the state of mind. Although this love could occur because of looking and hearing, this is not necessary because Allah can place this love in a person’s heart without any apparent cause. The person who remains chaste despite being afflicted by this severe love and thereafter dies will receive the reward of a martyr in the hereafter. The rank of a person who remains chaste is similar to the rank of a person who dies in fighting in the path of Allah because both have sacrificed their pleasure for the sake of Allah. Just as a fighter sacrificed his life for the upliftment of the religion of Allah, the chaste person strived against his desires for the sake of Allah. The youth especially should strive to remain chaste in order to gain this virtue.
(If you have benefited from this article, raise your hands and pray for me and send it to others)

[AceOfHearts]

Originally Posted by Hisham

saalamalaikum,

Ibn Abbas (rad) narrates that Prophet Muhammed (saw) said, “The person who falls in love, remains chaste, conceals this [from others], and dies is a martyr (shahid).”
[Some scholars have classified this hadith as weak. The famous scholar, Imam Nawawi in his introduction to the ‘arbain’ (40 hadith) that the scholars have agreed on the permissibility of using weak hadith for describing the virtues of actions. And Nothing is difficult to Allah]

This is faulty logic by which the clergy introduce falsehood into relgion like they have done.

"It doesnt matter even if we think it is weak, we can quote it"....

I have even heard that even if it considered fabricated, if a lot scholars quote it, it becomes valid.

The religion you follow is based on conjecture and falsehood.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by AceOfHearts

The religion you follow is based on conjecture and falsehood.

Being too narrow minded leads to the same result donchaknow

[sally]

So this is clearly acknowledging pre marital 'love' or strong feelings as valid as in not sinful and not devoid of barakah/blessings?

Interesting..I never knew this. Refreshing though. I'm still a bit confused. If you're not supposed to talk to someone of the opposite gender before marriage in Islam, how can you fall in love with them? I guess then it is really acknowledging that people can make mistakes or be driven by their nafs and should try to work to make their relationship halal and recognized.

But I've also heard from people that if your relationship isn't halal or hasn't had a halal foundation to begin with, then you shouldn't pursue the person for marital purposes because that would be a relationship lacking barakah, etc.

Confusing.

[nooni]

Originally Posted by sally

But I've also heard from people that if your relationship isn't halal or hasn't had a halal foundation to begin with, then you shouldn't pursue the person for marital purposes because that would be a relationship lacking barakah, etc.
.

actually ive heard in many lectures and scholars that that IS the person u should pursue because of fear they may do haram. im not saying that hey if they wanna be together, just let them... but its prolly more better for two people who WANT to be together, even if they had a haram relationship, to involve families, do the whole interogation thing and get the marriage bandwagon rolling instead of completely seperating and trying to find someone else... who lets say... never had a haram relationship to begin with.

just a thought.

[TariqBinSleepin]

Just some notes I took in the Love Notes class at Al-Maghrib the sheikh was Yassir Birjas. Will post some more later

• The prophet said “I see nothing for lovers but marriage”
• Aisha(RA) was the most beloved to the prophet.
• The Prophet expressed his love for Aisha, by stating that amongst men the most beloved to him was even Aisha’s father.
• 2 camps of Prophet’s wives. Aisha v.s Zainab. On Aisha’s side were Sawda/Hafsa/Safiyya.
• The story of Mugheeth and Bareerah. Bareerah hated Mugheeth; However, Mugheeth loved Bareerah and requested the prophet to intercede. :

“The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) as telling his uncle
Al-Abbas, the story of Migheeth & Bareerah, he said:
“O Abbass! Isn’t it amazing how much Mugheeth
loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah
Hates Mugheeth?”

·Love is not something we chose, the emotion is out of our control therefore. you are not liable for it. Only your actions are taken for account.
·Expressing love is not a sign of weakness, the Prophet (pbuh) expressed his love for Asiha (RA) constantly.
·The Prophet (pbuh) had a lot of sympathy for the ‘Lovers’.
·When it was evident that Bareerah did not love Mugheeth, the Prophet (pbuh) never denied Mugheeth’s continued love for her.
·We should love them for the sake of Allah, but also one should love them for their traits and their qualities and beauty.
·Love is Universal.
-All People Speak language of love
-transcends Religion/Race

+ Delayed Marriages
-Community is stagnant

-People begin outsourcing kids.

[Zam]

What is the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah?

[Hisham]

Originally Posted by sally

So this is clearly acknowledging pre marital 'love' or strong feelings as valid as in not sinful and not devoid of barakah/blessings?

Interesting..I never knew this. Refreshing though. I'm still a bit confused. If you're not supposed to talk to someone of the opposite gender before marriage in Islam, how can you fall in love with them? I guess then it is really acknowledging that people can make mistakes or be driven by their nafs and should try to work to make their relationship halal and recognized.

But I've also heard from people that if your relationship isn't halal or hasn't had a halal foundation to begin with, then you shouldn't pursue the person for marital purposes because that would be a relationship lacking barakah, etc.

Confusing.

saalam,
The initial attraction or thought that comes to the mind is normal and not at all sinful. Its what you do with it. Do you keep enjoying the thoughts and building bridges (yes, fantasizing is a sin) on them or do you just ignore them and go on with life?
I will make this as simple as possible.
firstly, there are two kinds of individuals. one is a person who cannot get married for whatever reason (Person A) and other is a person who can get married (Person B). Lets assume these two individuals are boys. If Person A and B saw a girl they were attracted to, what should they do?
Person A should ignore the thought as much as possible and should focus on other things since he cannot get married. He should not try to contact the girl whatsoever. For this, he will get reward as a martyr since he would be struggling with his thoughts and sacrificing his desires for Allah.

On the other hand, Person B can get some details of the girl from the girl's friends or her family. Then he should go ahead and talk to his own family and try to get contact of the girl's wali or family and propose. This method is completely halal.

Trying to get to know the person through dating and going out, chatting for hours together is a sin. Whether Allah withholds blessings from you in this world or hereafter, is upto Him.

We should not justify a sin for whatever reason as this is what the devil cleverly tried to do and became cursed by Allah.
Hope this clarifies.
saalam
Hisham

[sally]

Originally Posted by Zam

What is the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah?

I'm thinking it's the story of the Sahaabiyah RA who did not find her husband aesthetically appealing to the extent that she did not want to be with him any longer and so she went to the Prophet SAW for guidance

[TariqBinSleepin]

Originally Posted by sally

I'm thinking it's the story of the Sahaabiyah RA who did not find her husband aesthetically appealing to the extent that she did not want to be with him any longer and so she went to the Prophet SAW for guidance

Mugheeth and Bareerah were married as slaves, however when they were free'd i forget by who, Bareerah had a choice of either leaving him or staying with him, married. She left. Mugheet Loved Bareerah very much however, Bareerah did not love Mugheeth. It was Mugheeth who went to the prophet (pbuh) for guidance and help.

[hijabihoodlum]

Originally Posted by sally

Interesting..I never knew this. Refreshing though. I'm still a bit confused. If you're not supposed to talk to someone of the opposite gender before marriage in Islam, how can you fall in love with them?

who says we're not supposed to talk to them?

[IbnMardhiyah]

hey man, Prophet Muhammad [saws] said the best thing for two people in [heterogeneous] love is marriage.

Simple.

[Ilikemyscarf]

Originally Posted by hijabihoodlum

who says we're not supposed to talk to them?

I think she meant useless chit chat with the opposite gender, which is not really encouraged in Islam.

I do have a problem with spreading weak ahadith, why do it? It's not really authentic and cannot be used as evidence for anything and increases confusion.

[hijabihoodlum]

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

I think she meant useless chit chat with the opposite gender, which is not really encouraged in Islam.

i suppose, but i've found that people can't adequately define what constitutes "useless" or "frivolous" conversation.

[Rida]

How can you fall in love with someone without getting to know them?
And how can you get to know them without breaking the rules of opposite gender relations?
Wassalaam