My Thoughts on Parents

Hisham · #1 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 11:29 AM

Once I was speaking with a pious individual of the locality and he was mentioning to me that majority of time that people disobey their parents is because of their friends and peer pressure. Most of us know the rights of parents in Islam. What I am about to write is something I observed but not necessarily it would apply to everyone.

We all have friends. Sometimes our actions with our friends are better than our actions with our own parents. This would be clear hypocrisy on our part. Whenever, we meet our friends, we smile and jest with them. But when we are with our parents, we keep the conversation to a minimum.

Recently, my sister had a baby. I saw first hand as to what a parent goes through in raising a child. The mother wakes up in the middle of night because the baby refuses to go to sleep or its time to change the diapers of the baby. All of this is done by the mother or even the father with no grudges but done happily.

Another example that comes to my mind is if a friend buys me lunch. Naturally, I would be grateful to him and think high of him as a generous individual. I will never forget his favor on me and maybe, I would end up doing tens of favors to him in return. For this, I might think of myself as a pious and generous person. But have I ever wondered how many years my mother has made me lunch for free. The love and compassion with which she prepared food for me. The worry and concern she would have if I ate the food or not. Let’s not forget my father who spent thousands of dollars on me. Yet I am ungrateful to both of them. The mental, physical and financial challenges that our parents have faced in raising us are numerous to mention.

I personally had a lot of good friends. Some of these friends tried their best to guide me to the straight path. But I can attest to this that those same friends came and went. Now, we have lost complete contact. This is not because those individuals were not good people but because of individual circumstances such as they moved etc. But for most of us, our parents have always been there for us. And to this day, they have concern for us.

I was talking to one friend who said jokingly if he had kids he would want them to get high marks while he himself was doing poorly in school. Sometimes the major complaints that I hear from students is that our parents have really high academic expectations. But which parent doesn’t. If that is the case, we should strive to get good marks. Let’s not forget what Muhammed (saw) said, "They are your heaven or your hell i.e. earning their pleasure is a means of gaining jannah and earning their displeasure is a means of entry into hell."

Sometimes our parents might not even show appreciation when we are doing what they want us to do. But still we should try our best to make them happy since making them happy makes Allah happy. And that would require great deal of taqwa and sincerity. The only condition in which we are to disobey our parent if they ask us to go against Allah and his Messenger (saw).
When you pass by the magazines near the counter in the shopping mall, you see titles like, ‘How to make your friends envy you?’, ‘How to make your girlfriend adore you?’ and all that filth. Have we ever seen a list of how to make our parents happy?

I thought of a short list through which we can make our parents happy:
1. Never ever be louder than them in speech.
2. Never be sarcastic.
3. We should apologize to them even if we make the slightest mistake.
4. We should hug them often. [Do not let your ego stand in the way to show your parents that you care. Abu Hurairah (rad) said: The Prophet (saw) kissed Hassan ibn Ali and Aqra ibn Habis said: ‘I have 10 children and I have never kissed any of them.’ The Prophet (saw) said, ‘He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’”(Agreed upon)]
5. We should buy them things to surprise them even if it is an inexpensive thing.
6. We should take them out sometimes just like we go out with our friends. Take them out for a drive.

(If you have benefited from this article, I ask you to sincerely raise your hands and pray for me and send it to others)

the_only_one · #2 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 11:44 AM

Jazaki ullahu Khairan for the great reminder. may Allah grant us patience in dealing with unordinary parents. having said that, i love my parents though.

the_only_one · #3 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 12:07 PM

Great examples: One example that comes to my mind is: some animals, such as the sea turtles, produce enuff offspring that even without protection or care enough will survive to adulthood to continue the speices. but other species US, humans, produce few young ones, but we need extensive care from our parents until we are self-sufficient. subhaAllah if it wa snot for our parental love and nurishments we would not have survived..

all this reminds of the famous hadith when it coms to Parental Obedience: where a man was told, having helped his aged mom with her tawaf around the Baytullah isnot enough. even if he carries her on his shoulders 70 more times around the Baytullah..it would roughly equivalent to his mother's one night's lost sleep..thus, we can't repay our parents for their kindness, nomatter what we do in this life for them wouldnt be enough!.