[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Bluestar

A trip to the graveyard is different to a trip to the graveyard at 2 am in the morning. It can mess with your head.

Are you speaking from experience?

[No insult intended]

The consequences were nice but that doesn't justify the method. Shock isn't always good for everyone and you're lucky somebody hasn't reacted badly to it so far. A gradual learning process encourages people to keep learning, be more aware of the life around them and make sense of life in a more rounded way. Instant shock could send people to the other extreme and i don't feel that's good for them.

But, if that works for you, alhamdulillah.

I kindly disagree, for various reasons:

a) Remembering death - the end of all pleasures and ill-advised pursuits - is mentioned many times in the books of Islam as a way for man to fix himself before the angel of death comes knocking. Its a reminder that we all do have the chance to help ourselves before its too late.

b) In our society today, there's so much saturation of the wrong or mixed messages that sometimes a baby approach won't have any effect - strictly because the saturation level is so high.

These kids were kids who all had friends an acquaintances who had died young. Some in high-speed car crashes, others had died in gang warfare or drug deals gone bad. One of my family friends who actually took some of the boys on this trip, had a friend who was killed in a parking lot near Square One, in Mississauga, in broad daylight. Rival gang members bound his hands and feet, had him down on his knees on the asphalt and they slit his throat and let him bleed to death. [He was Muslim]

Other kids we knew were coming back from a party or a wedding and there were like seven boys, in a van. In mild weather, the van hit the unpaved shoulder, rolled down the hill and slammed into a tree trunk, killed some of the boys instantly, killing another one by pinning his body which was half-flung out the window and got caught between the tree and the van. I was there at their janaazah and had to face accusations by family members as to why we didn't control their sons earlier. Only one survived and was put into the ICU at the hospital.

Another crash involved two girls, their parents' only children ... young decent girls aged 18 or 19, they were driving along when some maniac drunk driver in the opposing traffic lost control of his vehicle, it jumped the raised median strip and slammed into their car, killing them.

All these [and more] were recent deaths in our Muslim community - which is fairly large, at nearly 500,000 in the local metropolitan area - and these kids knew some or all of the deceased yet their behaviors changed a little or not at all. They didn't perceive that their friends who they had been laughing and joking with just a night or two ago were now gone forever. And their parents [as we knew personally] were also sick and tired of trying to rein in their recalcitrant sons.

And so, in such a situation, taking them to the graveyard and getting them acquainted with the cold hard reality of the grave really knocked some sense into their heads.

And as for making sure they didn't flip all the way to another extreme - no alhamdulillaah, we were there to watch out for that.

[GOTFIVEONIT]

mr. murderer, why are you taking people to gravesites to 'scare' them? are you some sort of saint or something? why not worry about your own gunnah first, before worrying what other people do? because from the looks of it, you sure do have alot on your plate.

as for the original article, the author is living in a dream world. ya ya be kind, ya ya turn the cheek, i bet this person himself never does the things he preaches to other people. guess what happens when you go out of your way for people? especially desi people?

you get walked all over on.

you give a dollar to one desi, a hundred will run upto you like beggars ready to use and abuse you left and right. that's why this author is living in a fantasy world. showing kindess is one thing, being abused is something else.

and he doesnt like flashy clothes. why do you suppose so many guys go out and buy them? because thats what the girls like. if they didnt like the flashyness they wouldnt go for those type of guys to begin with. and most girls themselves are flashy to begin with anyways.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by GOTFIVEONIT

mr. murderer, why are you taking people to gravesites to 'scare' them? are you some sort of saint or something? why not worry about your own gunnah first, before worrying what other people do? because from the looks of it, you sure do have alot on your plate.

Who said I took them to gravesites?

[GOTFIVEONIT]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Great article. Reminds me the line from LOTR:

"I bring hope to men."



Over here me and my friends have found the best way to fix up a messed up kid is to take him to the graveyard / cemetery, at night ... especially if you can find one with a freshly dug, unoccupied grave.

It scares the hell outta them when they realize they could be six feet under any day now.

And yeah these articles help too, for those whom Allah has Mercy upon. And those who are deprived of His Mercy are indeed unfortunate.

http://www.islamicaweb.com/forums/38187-post13.html

[IbnMardhiyah]

Learn to read, please.

Never anywhere did I state that I personally took them to the graveyard, or any graveyard. It was something some friends of mine thought of and I didn't disagree with them, especially after seeing the results.

As for worrying about our own sins "first" - we do that as much as we can, yet at the same time that's no excuse to abandon someone else who's down on the ground.

You may be selfish about it, but please don't expect others to stoop down to your level.

[GOTFIVEONIT]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Learn to read, please.

Never anywhere did I state that I personally took them to the graveyard, or any graveyard. It was something some friends of mine thought of and I didn't disagree with them, especially after seeing the results.

As for worrying about our own sins "first" - we do that as much as we can, yet at the same time that's no excuse to abandon someone else who's down on the ground.

You may be selfish about it, but please don't expect others to stoop down to your level.

hahaha, selfish? no i dont need to be a preacher like you do. if anything, most of the people who are out drinking, partying, running off to hookers, etc. will simply like to a fake mullah like yourself. so ya worry about your own gunnah first before worrying what other people do. they know the rules, they choose not to follow it.

and you did write that you took them down to the graveyard meaning you personall took them there, not that you were thinking about it, not that you were planning on it, but that you actualy did this, and it 'scared them straight, your words, not mine.

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
Great article. Reminds me the line from LOTR:

"I bring hope to men."



Over here me and my friends have found the best way to fix up a messed up kid is to take him to the graveyard / cemetery, at night ... especially if you can find one with a freshly dug, unoccupied grave.

It scares the hell outta them when they realize they could be six feet under any day now.

[GOTFIVEONIT]

if you want people to be better muslim's, first you have to set the example for them to follow. i know plenty of muslim's who drink, and if all i did was preach to them, guess what would happen? they would just simply lie to my face about it. so i set the example, i dont drink, and i let them know that i dont drink. and then i explain to them why i dont drink. it get's better results than 'scaring them straight'.

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by GOTFIVEONIT

hahaha, selfish? no i dont need to be a preacher like you do. if anything, most of the people who are out drinking, partying, running off to hookers, etc. will simply like to a fake mullah like yourself. so ya worry about your own gunnah first before worrying what other people do. they know the rules, they choose not to follow it.

Who's preaching? If you call yourself a Muslim, I'll hold you to your word. This has nothing to do with preaching. Ask any of my family or friends - I don't preach and I don't need to.

As for worrying about what other people do, its about being a responsible member of society. I'm the older son of a community that's known me and my parents for over a generation. Even if I didn't do anything with these kids, the expectation would still be there because someone's who's been through the same tumultuous period is expected to have the guts to stop others from going over the same cliff.

and you did write that you took them down to the graveyard meaning you personall took them there, not that you were thinking about it, not that you were planning on it, but that you actualy did this, and it 'scared them straight, your words, not mine.

Like I said, learn how to read. I never took them down to any graveyard nor did I write that.

[MossadConspiracy]

they should have dug up one of the corpses to really drive the point home

[GOTFIVEONIT]

Originally Posted by MossadConspiracy

they should have dug up one of the corpses to really drive the point home

you know ahmed, you can goto jail for that. i just think the best way is to teach by example.

[MossadConspiracy]

I dont need to go to a cemetary to see dead bodies

[GOTFIVEONIT]

Originally Posted by MossadConspiracy

I dont need to go to a cemetary to see dead bodies

ya but ahmed you were just writing that you should dig up the bodies, and without a court order, the last time i checked that was illegal.

[MossadConspiracy]

wow, you dont say... digging up dead bodies in the cemetary is illegal. Who would have thought.

[GOTFIVEONIT]

Originally Posted by MossadConspiracy

wow, you dont say... digging up dead bodies in the cemetary is illegal. Who would have thought.

apparantly not you ahmed

Originally Posted by MossadConspiracy
they should have dug up one of the corpses to really drive the point home

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by GOTFIVEONIT

you know ahmed, you can goto jail for that. i just think the best way is to teach by example.

i wish you could go to jail for being an idiot who can't grasp sarcasm