[Variable]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Very. Interesting.

the preceding verb clarifies that ambiguation. I hope

[Fortune]

Originally Posted by Variable

Uh no... no it's not nonsense at all, it's my experience. Because it lands well outside the realm of your conceivable experience doesn't make it nonsensical.

Having done a lot of backpacking and traveling, I've often stayed in the same room, tent or even bed as a girl (sometimes two ) out of necessity. And brace yourself... we never even 'almost' had sex. It wasn't hard either...even when we kind of liked each other. In most cases if Shaytaan was the third, he would have had to be holding a gun to my head to get anything to happen.

I'm not saying it could never lead to sex, for sure - but you know when it would and when it's wouldn't and that is the exception, not the rule. When people aren't constantly on guard and uptight about relations with the opposite gender, something magical happens... the Shaytaan thing by and large dissappears.

I'm going to agree with Variable. Not going to cite experience, but I can reasonably see opposite genders cohabiting without the issue of sex even once being brought up. It also does not matter if the girl is "ugly" as someone previously stated, or "attractive" across the board. Believe it or not, sex it not on the forefront of everyone's mind.

[Sugarberry]

Originally Posted by Variable

Uh no... no it's not nonsense at all, it's my experience. Because it lands well outside the realm of your conceivable experience doesn't make it nonsensical.

Having done a lot of backpacking and traveling, I've often stayed in the same room, tent or even bed as a girl (sometimes two ) out of necessity. And brace yourself... we never even 'almost' had sex. It wasn't hard either...even when we kind of liked each other. In most cases if Shaytaan was the third, he would have had to be holding a gun to my head to get anything to happen.

I'm not saying it could never lead to sex, for sure - but you know when it would and when it's wouldn't and that is the exception, not the rule. When people aren't constantly on guard and uptight about relations with the opposite gender, something magical happens... the Shaytaan thing by and large dissappears.

Intresting, I disagree.

you might be the exception to the rule, but I currently dorm and I would say the majority of the guys i come across ( muslim or nonmuslim) would within a semester bed a girl they were dorming with ( with the pretense they were friends first).

Your also down playing the influence of shaytaan, but maybe thats because you haven't seen the gradual process of evilness he can do to people.

[ShahRukh]

Variable's views remind me of the quote that goes something along the lines....


The biggest trick Shaytan ever played is that he convinced the world that he doesn't exist.

[pathani]

Originally Posted by Variable

Uh no... no it's not nonsense at all, it's my experience. Because it lands well outside the realm of your conceivable experience doesn't make it nonsensical.

Having done a lot of backpacking and traveling, I've often stayed in the same room, tent or even bed as a girl (sometimes two ) out of necessity. And brace yourself... we never even 'almost' had sex. It wasn't hard either...even when we kind of liked each other. In most cases if Shaytaan was the third, he would have had to be holding a gun to my head to get anything to happen.

I'm not saying it could never lead to sex, for sure - but you know when it would and when it's wouldn't and that is the exception, not the rule. When people aren't constantly on guard and uptight about relations with the opposite gender, something magical happens... the Shaytaan thing by and large dissappears.

sorry, I hit reply under your post..i had no intention of quoting u
my response was to the article in general

[Deel]

Originally Posted by Rambo

you guys are misinterpeting abu sadiq, what he said is correct, yes he should have been more polite but tell me how is he wrong islamically?

yes both ways you can;t be friends with opposite sex, islamically that is.

but ofcourse these days almost all muslims break the rules

agreed.
i think what abu sadiq said was correct to an extent (despite the way he said it) although it's a matter of where we as individuals draw the line.

[YOUSUFofSD]

Originally Posted by Deel

agreed.
i think what abu sadiq said was correct to an extent (despite the way he said it) although it's a matter of where we as individuals draw the line.

seconded. i can see them being acquaintances, but being friends involves many more things that I'm pretty sure aren't Islamic.

[shadha]

AbuSadiq: It is always shocking to hear that apparently Muslim and hijabi girls are adopting the Western lifestyles and habits and having guy friends. It is IMPOSSIBLE for a man and a woman to just be friends - there is always shaytan who is the third in such a friendship and the man always thinks of the woman as someone of the opposite gender, someone whose beauty is there to judge and rate, and someone to have "fun" with (not necessarily sexual) and someone to lust over.
What is wrong with you?

That's nice. Have a


shadha-

[heba]

people have sex regardless of if theyre dorming with a person or not. so it really ISNT about the sex

the only problem i see with this is if they randomly pick a guy+girl to dorm together, that could ge tdangerous. even though i fully understand rooming with someone of the same sex could be dangerous, the likelihood of two people of the opposite sex randomly being dormed together has a lot more potential for rape and abuse and all that

as long as its consentual (sp?? lol) and as long as you can pick your roomie, i see no problem with this. like i said, people will have sex REGARDLESS.

disclaimer: THIS IS NOT SAYING I WOULD ROOM WITH A GUY, before all you jump down my throat.

[slime]

boys are gross.

[ShotgunMessiah]

Originally Posted by slime

boys are gross.

I know, I'd never room with one.

[Purple_alien]

I saw this article but didn't post it because I didn't see the point. If the people sharing a room say its platonic, who am I to judge? I have guy friends who I hang out with, so I wouldn't mind sharing a room with them. However, I know it's haram, so I won't do it.

[Variable]

Originally Posted by Sugarberry

Intresting, I disagree.

you might be the exception to the rule, but I currently dorm and I would say the majority of the guys i come across ( muslim or nonmuslim) would within a semester bed a girl they were dorming with ( with the pretense they were friends first).

Yeh, I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would, but the girl has a vote in that too. I don't think the article was talking about randomly pairing up guys and girls, either; I think if there are two people who already know each other and request to room together, then they're allowing that. That's all.

Your also down playing the influence of shaytaan, but maybe thats because you haven't seen the gradual process of evilness he can do to people.

Well for me I wasn't. Then again, I don't think having sex before marriage is an evil thing though, nor do I think 'shaytaan' does either... (I'd say hormones do). So we're really coming at it from two different sets of assumptions.

But I'll mention again, if you're not constantly thinking about 'sinful' sex that could happen, the other person ceases to become a sexual object and just becomes your friend/roommate/travel buddy, whatever. It's kinda funny that way.

[Sugarberry]

Originally Posted by Variable

Yeh, I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would, but the girl has a vote in that too. I don't think the article was talking about randomly pairing up guys and girls, either; I think if there are two people who already know each other and request to room together, then they're allowing that. That's all.



Well for me I wasn't. Then again, I don't think having sex before marriage is an evil thing though, nor do I think 'shaytaan' does either... (I'd say hormones do). So we're really coming at it from two different sets of assumptions.

But I'll mention again, if you're not constantly thinking about 'sinful' sex that could happen, the other person ceases to become a sexual object and just becomes your friend/roommate/travel buddy, whatever. It's kinda funny that way.

I agree with some and disagree with other parts.

we have been raised differently and believe in different things so the whole concept of sex before marriage is another issue.

What im saying is that its more likely for friends to sleep together than random guy and girl. That being said I think it is possible to have friendships with guys/girls without it being a sexual/romantic relationship, but living in close corridors with someone ...its natural for them to think of sex more often then he/she would normally if it was just his/her friend who lived in another area, but thats my personal opinion.

That being said I dont think its wrong for college's to let people room with whoever they want. ......as long as they make sure that this lifestyle is not imposed on anyone else and that the condoms are free and on every floor.

[PhDGirl]

I don't think that we have to worry about this becoming the norm in dorms anytime soon. I really don't think most American parents would be like "oh a co-ed dorm room? Sounds good!"