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06-28-2008, 09:20 AM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by Salika
So then... wedding vows are vows to what then?
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A vow in the presence of God and witnesses to take the other as their lawfully wedded spouse and to stay loyal to each other.
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06-28-2008, 09:29 AM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
And from what I've seen, people don't promise themselves to the other during an engagement. They simply agree to consider the other person for marriage to the exclusion of all others.
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I'm with Salika et. al on this one...they're better explaining what I attempted to explain in my last post...when you're engaged, you're committed...sure, its obviously a degree lower than marriage...but when you're engaged, thats it...can engagements break? ofcourse...can marriages break? ofcourse...and yes, engagements break more often than marriages because its easier to do so...but once a couple becomes engaged, they are doing a LOT more than just "considering" each other for marriage...they've already considered, gone through all the pros and cons and have made their final decision that yes, this will be the person that I am going to marry...it just seems that you're downplaying the engagement to a less stable of a status than how the rest of us view it...in my eyes, it has always been the "baatcheet" or "getting to know" period where you "agree to consider the other person for marriage to the exclusion of all others"...unless ofcourse you're down with considering two rishtas at once 
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Last edited by Budmano786 : 06-28-2008 at 09:54 AM.
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06-28-2008, 01:43 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by Budmano786
I'm with Salika et. al on this one...they're better explaining what I attempted to explain in my last post...when you're engaged, you're committed...sure, its obviously a degree lower than marriage...but when you're engaged, thats it...can engagements break? ofcourse...can marriages break? ofcourse...and yes, engagements break more often than marriages because its easier to do so...but once a couple becomes engaged, they are doing a LOT more than just "considering" each other for marriage...they've already considered, gone through all the pros and cons and have made their final decision that yes, this will be the person that I am going to marry...it just seems that you're downplaying the engagement to a less stable of a status than how the rest of us view it...in my eyes, it has always been the "baatcheet" or "getting to know" period where you "agree to consider the other person for marriage to the exclusion of all others"...unless ofcourse you're down with considering two rishtas at once |
The entire discussion so far stemmed from the belief that an engagement brings some sort of relief that the "search of chickery is over" - and I don't know of anyone who, upon being engaged, felt that way. Like I said, its tentative. You're cautiously optimistic, but until the deal is signed in black and white on the dotted line, nothing is final.
Chotoo tried giving an example from business, and I'm telling you right now that anyone who's been in business will never tell you that they really believe its a done deal until the pen is lifted from that dotted line. Before that, its all up in the air. That's why I could never see an engagement as any kind of "promise" to marry - verbal statements mean very little to me unless they're written down on paper and executed.
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Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
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06-28-2008, 01:58 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Ibn, this is a hypothetical question just so I can clarify your stance on the whole engagament thing coz I am really confused too 
Let's say you're engaged (by your definition). What would it take for you to break off this engagement for another girl? I mean how well would you have to know her for her to surpass your current fiancee? And who would break it to her? Your family or yourself, and what would be said?
Sorry that's a long question with many sub-parts..
Thanx
Annie
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06-28-2008, 01:59 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
I like how all the marriage threads are used to bucket feed Ibn M's ego... and all the sisters have some sort of perverse pleasure doing so 
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06-28-2008, 02:04 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Blv me bro, this is merely investigative questions as opposed to a celebrity interview 
Annie
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06-28-2008, 02:05 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by wheelworks
I like how all the marriage threads are used to bucket feed Ibn M's ego... and all the sisters have some sort of perverse pleasure doing so
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Only IbnM would actually have his ego FED from all this pwnage. He just cant admit he considers engagements to be a halal version of dating.
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As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words, so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing - La Rochefoucauld.
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06-28-2008, 02:06 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by annie_359
Blv me bro, this is merely investigative questions as opposed to a celebrity interview
Annie
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Yea but it is really feeding his ego
It doesn't really take much to do so. Like telling him to show off his new car so he can feel proud etc...
It's benn going on for two days now too  |
06-28-2008, 02:06 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by TrentReznor858
Only IbnM would actually have his ego FED from all this pwnage. He just cant admit he considers engagements to be a halal version of dating.
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Ooh, that reminds me summin else I wanted to ask Ibn - what's difference btwn ur stance on engagements and halal dating?
Annie
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06-28-2008, 02:07 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by annie_359
Ooh, that reminds me summin else I wanted to ask Ibn - what's difference btwn ur stance on engagements and halal dating?
Annie
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Didn't I tell ya all the sisters had a perverse pleasure in doing so?  |
06-28-2008, 02:10 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by wheelworks
Didn't I tell ya all the sisters had a perverse pleasure in doing so?
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Oh God.. I'm not proposing to him 
If u keep harping on about it then he will feel bigged up so just let him answer so it can be over and done with.
And does he have you on ignore coz I've noticed he doesn't reply to your witty comments anymore
Annie
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Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
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06-28-2008, 02:12 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by annie_359
Oh God.. I'm not proposing to him
If u keep harping on about it then he will feel bigged up so just let him answer so it can be over and done with.
And does he have you on ignore coz I've noticed he doesn't reply to your witty comments anymore
Annie
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I didn't say you were proposing to him, just egging him on
If he answers your questions, then another 10 pages will be added to this thread re. Ibn M feeding his bloated ego and a bunch of sisters arguing with his opinion  |
06-28-2008, 02:15 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by annie_359
Ibn, this is a hypothetical question just so I can clarify your stance on the whole engagament thing coz I am really confused too
Let's say you're engaged (by your definition). What would it take for you to break off this engagement for another girl? I mean how well would you have to know her for her to surpass your current fiancee? And who would break it to her? Your family or yourself, and what would be said?
Sorry that's a long question with many sub-parts..
Thanx
Annie
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I would never break off any engagement with Girl X in favor of Girl Y. That should have been clear enough from my previous posts so I'm curious as to why you're even asking me such a question.
The only time I'd break off an engagement with Girl X is there were clearly some deal-breakers front and center. Then I'd give myself a detox period before resuming the search.
__________________
Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
.:[ maverick007.wordpress.com ]:. .:[ What's going on, Eh? ]:.
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06-28-2008, 02:18 PM
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Re: Pros of Being Engaged
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Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
I would never break off any engagement with Girl X in favor of Girl Y. That should have been clear enough from my previous posts so I'm curious as to why you're even asking me such a question. .
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You cant say that being engaged isnt mutually exclusive and then say you wouldnt leave girl x for girl y. Stop flip flopping on the issue.
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Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
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