|
|
06-26-2008, 03:28 PM
|
 |
Retired
Offline
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Rating:
Posts: 6,790
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by fatima
haha actually i think theyre the only ones who dont know who they are.
|
This statement caused your avatar to dance like it's on caffeine 
__________________
 
“ Don’t judge the truth by people. First find the truth, then you will recognize its people.” - Imam Ali,
|
06-26-2008, 04:05 PM
|
 |
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2003
Rating:
Posts: 5,857
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
knowing that your search for chickery is over with has to be the biggest pro
__________________
please keep me in your duas
|
06-26-2008, 04:07 PM
|
 |
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,942
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Budmano786
knowing that your search for chickery is over with has to be the biggest pro
|
Yes, in our first marriage as an engaged couple, I asked my fiance-husband-man how he felt and he said and he said he felt like a huge burden has been lifted (he was looking for 4 years) |
06-26-2008, 05:43 PM
|
 |
o snaps!
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,023
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Budmano786
knowing that your search for chickery is over with has to be the biggest pro
|
soo true. no more serving chai to strangers.(although i never did)  |
06-26-2008, 05:51 PM
|
 |
:: Maverick ::
Online
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2002
Rating:
Posts: 8,929
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Budmano786
knowing that your search for chickery is over with has to be the biggest pro
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salika
Yes, in our first marriage as an engaged couple, I asked my fiance-husband-man how he felt and he said and he said he felt like a huge burden has been lifted (he was looking for 4 years)
|
Bud and Salika, how does that apply to someone who might have been engaged before but it didn't work out or was broken? They're back to square one.
__________________
Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
.:[ maverick007.wordpress.com ]:. .:[ What's going on, Eh? ]:.
|
06-26-2008, 05:53 PM
|
 |
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2002
Rating:
Posts: 14,678
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salika
Yes, in our first marriage as an engaged couple
|
As opposed to your second marriage as a married couple? 
Heh. Kidding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
Bud and Salika, how does that apply to someone who might have been engaged before but it didn't work out or was broken? They're back to square one.
|
It doesn't apply to them, obviously.
__________________
And those who strive in Our (cause),- We will certainly guide them to our Paths: For verily Allah is with those who do right (Qur'an 29:69).
|
06-26-2008, 05:54 PM
|
|
Retired
Offline
|
|
Join Date: May 2007
Rating:
Posts: 6,790
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
Bud and Salika, how does that apply to someone who might have been engaged before but it didn't work out or was broken? They're back to square one.
|
Square two to be more precise 
__________________
“ Don’t judge the truth by people. First find the truth, then you will recognize its people.” - Imam Ali,
|
06-26-2008, 06:46 PM
|
|
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,942
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timbit
As opposed to your second marriage as a married couple?
Heh. Kidding. |
 That was a typo, I meant conversation.. all this marriage talk is getting to me |
06-26-2008, 06:46 PM
|
|
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,942
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
Bud and Salika, how does that apply to someone who might have been engaged before but it didn't work out or was broken? They're back to square one.
|
Not sure what you mean, can you elaborate? |
06-26-2008, 07:19 PM
|
|
:: Maverick ::
Online
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2002
Rating:
Posts: 8,929
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salika
Not sure what you mean, can you elaborate?
|
imo the search for chickery is more accurately "over" when you're married ... not just merely when you're engaged because the engagement doesn't really mean anything to the couple - it just means that its harder for other people to get serious traction with either of them.
__________________
Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
.:[ maverick007.wordpress.com ]:. .:[ What's going on, Eh? ]:.
|
06-26-2008, 07:22 PM
|
|
o snaps!
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,023
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
imo the search for chickery is more accurately "over" when you're married ... not just merely when you're engaged because the engagement doesn't really mean anything to the couple - it just means that its harder for other people to get serious traction with either of them.
|
doesn't egaged mean, that girl and guy will stop looking at other prospects and just try to get to know each other more? in other words, they're off the market. |
06-26-2008, 07:36 PM
|
|
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,942
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Ya, like asvi said, you can't look around (well I guess the guy technically can, but the assumption here is that he isn't). Engaged, at least how we do it, is an intention to marry, not merely to get to know each other. Although some couples do use it to get to know each other better, they're pretty much gonna get hitched unless they really find that it's not gonna work. Especially with Arabs since we have the nikkah as the engagement.
Besides, you could say the same thing for marriage. A couple can get married too and divorced and they're at square one as well.
|
06-26-2008, 07:44 PM
|
|
:: Maverick ::
Online
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2002
Rating:
Posts: 8,929
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asvi
doesn't egaged mean, that girl and guy will stop looking at other prospects and just try to get to know each other more? in other words, they're off the market.
|
I keep my expectations low.
For me, being engaged doesn't mean the search is definitively over. If the engagement breaks, I hit the road again. Marriage seems to be a much stronger stance at which to say "okay, the search is over"
Its as if engagement is like the following scenarios:
1) B1 G1 B2 G2 B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = a bunch of available boys and girls
2) B1 G1 (B2 G2) B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = a bunch of available boys and girls ... and although boy2 and girl2 have brackets around them but they're still not a pair yet. The brackets refer to the engagement, and because of that, B1,3-5 cant get with G2, .... and G1,3-5 cant get with with B2. But if the brackets are lifted, everyone's fair game.
3) B1 G1 (B2 + G2) B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = B1 G1 -- -- B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5
Once B1 and G2 are hitched, then they're outta the equation, outta the pic, and thats when the search is actually over.
IN OTHER WORDS: Saying that the search is over just because you're engaged is to raise your expectations fairly high and set yourself up for potential disappointment.
__________________
Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
.:[ maverick007.wordpress.com ]:. .:[ What's going on, Eh? ]:.
|
06-26-2008, 07:54 PM
|
 |
Senior Member
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2002
Rating:
Posts: 7,356
|
|
Re: Pros of Being Engaged
Quote:
Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah
I keep my expectations low.
For me, being engaged doesn't mean the search is definitively over. If the engagement breaks, I hit the road again. Marriage seems to be a much stronger stance at which to say "okay, the search is over"
Its as if engagement is like the following scenarios:
1) B1 G1 B2 G2 B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = a bunch of available boys and girls
2) B1 G1 (B2 G2) B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = a bunch of available boys and girls ... and although boy2 and girl2 have brackets around them but they're still not a pair yet. The brackets refer to the engagement, and because of that, B1,3-5 cant get with G2, .... and G1,3-5 cant get with with B2. But if the brackets are lifted, everyone's fair game.
3) B1 G1 (B2 + G2) B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5 = B1 G1 -- -- B3 G3 B4 G4 B G5
Once B1 and G2 are hitched, then they're outta the equation, outta the pic, and thats when the search is actually over.
IN OTHER WORDS: Saying that the search is over just because you're engaged is to raise your expectations fairly high and set yourself up for potential disappointment.
|
If you think its okay to still 'look' around after announcing to the community/family your intention then you really have no shame or ghairat. No respectable person would 'look around' after getting engaged- because that in itself is a commitment, and no respectable family would let their son or daughter think of other prospects either.
|
06-26-2008, 08:05 PM
|
|
o snaps!
Offline
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Rating:
Posts: 7,023
| | |
