Is it hard to stay humble?

[Salika]

I'm the best catch ever :bestcatcheverdance:

[Glasgow]

Originally Posted by Salika

I'm the best catch ever :bestcatcheverdance:

That's what all mums say

[sally]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

Yes but is that arrogance?

well...undoubtedly theres a fine line between high self esteem, confidence (i think i could probably do better at that if i tried than most others) and arrogance (damn, that guy sucks...i could totally be better at XYZ and show him so!)..i guess i'd say arrogance is something which is inherently evil..and others can 'judge' you as arrogant by the type of behavior and attitude you demonstrate

[infamousbrown]

Originally Posted by sally

well...undoubtedly theres a fine line between high self esteem, confidence (i think i could probably do better at that if i tried than most others) and arrogance (damn, that guy sucks...i could totally be better at XYZ and show him so!)..i guess i'd say arrogance is something which is inherently evil..and others can 'judge' you as arrogant by the type of behavior and attitude you demonstrate

Nah let me elaborate.

What if you met someone who possessed all the right attributes befitting a good husband. Religious, kind, attractive, well educated etc. and to top it off you get along pretty well. Plus your families get along.

But, for whatever reason you keep finding reasons in your head not to 'like' him, be it his height or some other superficial, stupid reason, like lack of a spark / chemistry.

You know marrying him would be the safe choice because so few people possess the qualities he does, but at the same time you're hesitant because you think that someone 'better' might be out there.

Arrogance? I'm not sure. Indecisiveness? Yes. Low imaan? Maybe?

[iceonfire]

jus' be yourself and everything will be easier

[infamousbrown]

Originally Posted by iceonfire

jus' be yourself and everything will be easier

Get some hair on that face before you come at me with advice, son.

[iceonfire]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

Get some hair on that face before you come at me with advice, son.

oh i'm sorry son i forgot i still had one of my old pictures as my defualt well i'm actually older than i say i am as you see in thhis recent pic i took of myself. so enjoy son and rememeber be yourself = ]


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i think i took this one of myself a couple days ago on Monday after i stopped shaving for a week

[ShahRukh]

I am wrong and You are all right.

[infamousbrown]

Originally Posted by iceonfire

[

Haha it looks like you have a fungal infection, son.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

Nah let me elaborate.

What if you met someone who possessed all the right attributes befitting a good husband. Religious, kind, attractive, well educated etc. and to top it off you get along pretty well. Plus your families get along.

But, for whatever reason you keep finding reasons in your head not to 'like' him, be it his height or some other superficial, stupid reason, like lack of a spark / chemistry.

You know marrying him would be the safe choice because so few people possess the qualities he does, but at the same time you're hesitant because you think that someone 'better' might be out there.

Arrogance? I'm not sure. Indecisiveness? Yes. Low imaan? Maybe?

I don't think lack of a spark/chemistry is a superficial or stupid reason. It's part of attraction.

As for height... again, you have to be attracted to the person you marry. Though I know quite a few women who have married or are planning to marry shorter men.

[Ilikemyscarf]

Originally Posted by iceonfire

oh i'm sorry son i forgot i still had one of my old pictures as my defualt well i'm actually older than i say i am as you see in thhis recent pic i took of myself. so enjoy son and rememeber be yourself = ]


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i think i took this one of myself a couple days ago on Monday after i stopped shaving for a week

you look like junaid jamshed.

[TrentReznor858]

Why are you posting a huge pic of a horrible angle of your face. We dont want to look up your nostrils thanks.

[iceonfire]

hahaha calm down man dude jus tryin to have some fun...


all i gotta say to you man is reeeeellllllaaaxxxx

[sally]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

Nah let me elaborate.

What if you met someone who possessed all the right attributes befitting a good husband. Religious, kind, attractive, well educated etc. and to top it off you get along pretty well. Plus your families get along.

But, for whatever reason you keep finding reasons in your head not to 'like' him, be it his height or some other superficial, stupid reason, like lack of a spark / chemistry.

You know marrying him would be the safe choice because so few people possess the qualities he does, but at the same time you're hesitant because you think that someone 'better' might be out there.

Arrogance? I'm not sure. Indecisiveness? Yes. Low imaan? Maybe?

no one knows, so they shouldnt judge... only we know how we feel.

[Sim]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

I don't know if its arrogance...

but how would most of you describe the feeling of 'what if I can do better?'

i dont think thats arrogance. but then again i know people who are i think 30+ who dont get married because they dont think many girls are good enough. i do think they are arrogant in their approach.

its a fine line and i guess it depends in what respect you could do better in, and if its reasonable for you to compromise in that regard. ie, if everythings perfect but there's no "chemistry", well then it depends on the particular circumstance. if EVERYTHING else is perfect then i think they should go for it.

but peoples mentality when they are approaching marriage in general may be wrong in itself. people normally have a list of say 4-5 things that the rishta MUST have or do. straight away a level of expectation is created, and if the rishta is excellent in other ways; but they dont meet the 4-5 must haves they may get rejected.

if people had a list of 4-5 things that the person MUST NOT have, or do (ie bad qualities) then they would appreciate that person much more. if the rishta avoided those bad qualities that your spouse MUST NOT have, then any good quality above that will be a bonus.

i guess what im tryin to say is rather than say "as long as she's this this and this" a more humble approach would be "as long as she isn't this this or this".