what if parents don't agree for marriage even if the marriage is following all rules

[salman]

Hi all

I would love to know your views on this.

Assuming if a pair wants to get married and they are following ALL the islamic rules BUT their parents aren't ready for the marriage..

what should they do in this situation? What is the right thing to do?

Discuss

[Bluestar]

I've seen a lot of couples persist with the thought of marrying each other when their parents are dead against it. Personally, i think the parents are a bit silly, when they outright disagree to the marriage they do nothing but bring both people together even more. What they should do is support an extensive engagement period where the couple both get to know each other, if they're right for each other they can get married and if they're not they can part their own ways.

Most often though, the parents are rejecting the idea for nonsensical details "he's not a khan", "he's too dark" etc and in cases like that it's imperative to stand up to that, muslimz said it best when he wrote:

MuslimZ said

"Stand up firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor"

I do have sympathy for anyone who's been through it though, I know they've had very trying and stressful times and it's not easy

[LEGALEAGLE]

salman said

Hi all

I would love to know your views on this.

Assuming if a pair wants to get married and they are following ALL the islamic rules BUT their parents aren't ready for the marriage..

what should they do in this situation? What is the right thing to do?

Discuss

I wouldn't go through with it.

Personally I wouldn't trust a girl who would abandon her parents for me.

[Bluestar]

what if her parents said that you were (hypothetically) too dark to marry their daughter and she was a girl who you really clicked with?

Life is never black and white.

[LEGALEAGLE]

Bluestar said

what if her parents said that you were (hypothetically) too dark to marry their daughter and she was a girl who you really clicked with?

Life is never black and white.

*shrug*

In the end everybody must decide for themselves what is ethically correct.

I couldn't trust a girl who disobeyed parents who'd raised her for the majority of her life.

[ShotgunMessiah]

Although I feel like I would want to do it anyway, I don't think I would. I couldn't see myself being a part of a family that controlling. And if they don't approve of me before the marriage, they're certainly not going to after.

[MossadConspiracy]

listen to your parents

[Revert]

Been there done that.

[Musashi]

Asallamu 'alaikum wa rahmatulLahi wa barakatuh

Listen to my parents if there's something suspicious about him, since I know they're not the type to judge by 'status' and all the stuff, and they're pretty unconventional themselves.

That and I'm naive and trusting, all suspicions aside, so they would probably be looking out for my best interests.

If they were not, I'd try to gently convince them and have him prove himself to them, but I hope that won't be the case~

[LEGALEAGLE]

Musashi said

Asallamu 'alaikum wa rahmatulLahi wa barakatuh

Listen to my parents if there's something suspicious about him, since I know they're not the type to judge by 'status' and all the stuff, and they're pretty unconventional themselves.

That and I'm naive and trusting, all suspicions aside, so they would probably be looking out for my best interests.

If they were not, I'd try to gently convince them and have him prove himself to them, but I hope that won't be the case~

Musashi if you have something to say to me please express it on an open forum.

Have some ghayrat.

[rawrr]

It's different for everyone; some people have parents that just cannot see outside the box. Parents arn't perfect, they don't always know the best. Having said that though, its up to the individual to be rational.

[LEGALEAGLE]

rawrr said

It's different for everyone; some people have parents that just cannot see outside the box. Parents arn't perfect, they don't always know the best. Having said that though, its up to the individual to be rational.

or ethical.

[pathani]

I personally could'nt go through with a marriage without the blessings of my parents..

firstly id be depriving myself of their dua..(which is so unbelievably important)

secondly, i'd not get Allah swt's blessings by doing something that will essentially hurt them.

[the_only_one]

most commonly, i hear parents/religion/money/class-system etc as a obsticle from keeping two people from getting married. today, i heard some govt policy can also stop couples. for instance: a uae girl can't get married to a non-uae resident, despite of the fact both of the families are from same city. however, the guy was born in the west, if the couples do get married, their children will not have full rights as uae citizens (aka all the child support etc).

[hijabihoodlum]

salman said

they are following ALL the islamic rules BUT their parents aren't ready for the marriage..

what should they do in this situation? What is the right thing to do?

Discuss

get married. and don't cut ties with family, even if family thinks you messed up.