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05-13-2008, 07:16 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
I prefer Islamica.
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You should have said.
The best type of revenge would be to take her husband from her. You would need to be better looking than her though. |
05-13-2008, 07:18 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Aryan_
You should have said.
The best type of revenge would be to take her husband from her. You would need to be better looking than her though.
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Nonsense looks are overrated... 
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is considering this weird anti-Pakhtun racism from Memons.
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05-13-2008, 07:23 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
As hot as I think women are, Lord Almighty, am I glad I'm a man.
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05-13-2008, 07:26 PM
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Crabby Patty
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by jinnzaman
As hot as I think women are, Lord Almighty, am I glad I'm a man.
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as emo as men can be, I'm glad you're a man too. We dont' need any more emo women. thanks. |
05-13-2008, 07:29 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
So, my friend got married recently. I was happy for her and threw her a bridal shower - I even spent $700 of my own money paying for everyone in the restaurant and for gifts. She thanked me in a fb note but then deleted it soon after she got married. She didnt mention the bridal shower or even thank me in her wedding speech. She then moved away to Atlanta to live with her husband. When she came back a month later to visit she didnt even call me for a week. I CALLED HER. When I asked her what happened and what shes been up to, she said, "Oh Ive been doing nothing all week". YET SHE COULDNT CALL ME. The ONLY FRIEND who even bothered to throw her a bridal shower. In the same phone call, she goes on to say, "Everyone our age is married, except you, *******, ******* and ******. I mentioned some others who arent married, and she said, "Oh, they arent in our circle." How many people are even IN our circle?? Then she goes on to say, "Well, there is a time for everyone!". I kept it cool and said to make dua. I wanted to ***** her out badly, but I instead acted like her words didnt make me angry. I didnt want to stoop to her level of arrogance. All she says to me is, "I'm so happy! Im so in love!". I should also note that she lived with her husband and spent many vacations with him before they got married. I for one, do not want to marry in sin! I would be happy for her if she wasnt such a *****, but I am really tempted to post this note on my facebook so people can see what a ***** she really is. Am I overeacting, or do you people think I have a right to be angry?
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Someone is doing a horrible job at being an alter ego 
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry,their passions a quotation - Oscar Wilde.
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness - Sophocles.
A dream is the answer to a question we do not know how to ask - Fox Mulder.
As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words, so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing - La Rochefoucauld.
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05-13-2008, 07:41 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by LEGALEAGLE
basically you got shafted...that always happens to good people...its pretty common...next time don't try to be so good...
and always remember that the only person a woman wants to be better than herself is her daughter...
your friend is in self-righteous mode...she seems to be attacking your self-confidence and esteem after you've supported hers...do you owe her anything ? then ?
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Yes....I think that too now....no point in being good....you will just get trampled on....
So true....some friends really care but I should have known she would not have been one of them. Shes been in undergrad for 10 years yet married a PhD. And trashes people who got into law school because "its out of the province, she couldnt get into a school closeby". Hey, the girl is still in law school, and you arent! Or, if some girl gets into her masters, its "well its ARTS, she couldnt do science!"
Ive also heard her say, "When I get into dentistry (which she didnt), I will rub it up everyones noses!" So I should not be so surprised with her attitude. Some people are never friends, they are just oppurtunists.
To the person who said I am just bitter because I am not married, that is not true. Why must everything be defined by marriage? Typical desi mentality. I believe that Allah swt does not want me to get married now because He does not want me to have an atom's ounce of arrogance. I think when it happens, it will be just right, insha'Allah. I am angry, but not for those reasons. I am angry because of the comments she made, she was TRYING to scathe me to make herself feel better. Even if I never competed against her, she was always competing against me. Some people will trash others if they are up, or if they are down, just for the sake of massaging their own egos.
And to the person who wanted to yell at me for spending $700 on the bridal shower, yes, please do!! That was a HUGE mistake!! It wasnt planned that way. We were at the restaurant which was super expensive, and the waiter, who happened to be from my ethnic background, said "If I want to hold my head up high, and I want my friends to return the favor, then I should pay for everyone." Also, some of her coworkers left without paying when they should have.
I probably will not post any kind of inflammatory note on FB. Really, I do not like bad karma, but it seems to come way anyways.
From now on, I am going to be super *****.
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05-13-2008, 07:42 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
Yes....I think that too now....no point in being good....you will just get trampled on....
So true....some friends really care but I should have known she would not have been one of them. Shes been in undergrad for 10 years yet married a PhD. And trashes people who got into law school because "its out of the province, she couldnt get into a school closeby". Hey, the girl is still in law school, and you arent! Or, if some girl gets into her masters, its "well its ARTS, she couldnt do science!"
Ive also heard her say, "When I get into dentistry (which she didnt), I will rub it up everyones noses!" So I should not be so surprised with her attitude. Some people are never friends, they are just oppurtunists.
To the person who said I am just bitter because I am not married, that is not true. Why must everything be defined by marriage? Typical desi mentality. I believe that Allah swt does not want me to get married now because He does not want me to have an atom's ounce of arrogance. I think when it happens, it will be just right, insha'Allah. I am angry, but not for those reasons. I am angry because of the comments she made, she was TRYING to scathe me to make herself feel better. Even if I never competed against her, she was always competing against me. Some people will trash others if they are up, or if they are down, just for the sake of massaging their own egos.
And to the person who wanted to yell at me for spending $700 on the bridal shower, yes, please do!! That was a HUGE mistake!! It wasnt planned that way. We were at the restaurant which was super expensive, and the waiter, who happened to be from my ethnic background, said "If I want to hold my head up high, and I want my friends to return the favor, then I should pay for everyone." Also, some of her coworkers left without paying when they should have.
I probably will not post any kind of inflammatory note on FB. Really, I do not like bad karma, but it seems to come way anyways.
From now on, I am going to be super *****.
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Jaysh? Sixpak? I think its too much for Jamroll
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry,their passions a quotation - Oscar Wilde.
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness - Sophocles.
A dream is the answer to a question we do not know how to ask - Fox Mulder.
As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words, so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing - La Rochefoucauld.
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05-13-2008, 07:43 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by TrentReznor858
Someone is doing a horrible job at being an alter ego |
Do I know you, Trent? |
05-13-2008, 07:45 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
Do I know you, Trent?
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Maybe you do, you clever fellow 
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry,their passions a quotation - Oscar Wilde.
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness - Sophocles.
A dream is the answer to a question we do not know how to ask - Fox Mulder.
As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words, so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing - La Rochefoucauld.
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05-13-2008, 07:49 PM
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Girly Man
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
Yes....I think that too now....no point in being good....you will just get trampled on....
So true....some friends really care but I should have known she would not have been one of them. Shes been in undergrad for 10 years yet married a PhD. And trashes people who got into law school because "its out of the province, she couldnt get into a school closeby". Hey, the girl is still in law school, and you arent! Or, if some girl gets into her masters, its "well its ARTS, she couldnt do science!"
Ive also heard her say, "When I get into dentistry (which she didnt), I will rub it up everyones noses!" So I should not be so surprised with her attitude. Some people are never friends, they are just oppurtunists.
To the person who said I am just bitter because I am not married, that is not true. Why must everything be defined by marriage? Typical desi mentality. I believe that Allah swt does not want me to get married now because He does not want me to have an atom's ounce of arrogance. I think when it happens, it will be just right, insha'Allah. I am angry, but not for those reasons. I am angry because of the comments she made, she was TRYING to scathe me to make herself feel better. Even if I never competed against her, she was always competing against me. Some people will trash others if they are up, or if they are down, just for the sake of massaging their own egos.
And to the person who wanted to yell at me for spending $700 on the bridal shower, yes, please do!! That was a HUGE mistake!! It wasnt planned that way. We were at the restaurant which was super expensive, and the waiter, who happened to be from my ethnic background, said "If I want to hold my head up high, and I want my friends to return the favor, then I should pay for everyone." Also, some of her coworkers left without paying when they should have.
I probably will not post any kind of inflammatory note on FB. Really, I do not like bad karma, but it seems to come way anyways.
From now on, I am going to be super *****.
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if she wasn't a nice person in the first place then why did you spend all that money/ throw her a bridal shower? a leapord doesn't change it's spots just because it got married
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I sell pot—holders......made from hemp 
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05-13-2008, 07:50 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by TrentReznor858
Maybe you do, you clever fellow |
Really, and are you going to tell me who you are, or continue on incognito?
If you know who I am, then who am I?
I dont know anyone n San Diego. |
05-13-2008, 07:51 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by Whatyosayin
Yes....I think that too now....no point in being good....you will just get trampled on....
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Its not about being good or bad, its more about managing your own expectations.
One person can throw a $700 party for a friend and then be shown a lack of respect and insensitivity, and the host won't be upset because he/she had low expectations to start with of the guest of honor, and so when that guest doesn't return the favor, or doesn't even show gratitude ... the host isn't surprised and isn't disappointed.
Another person throws a similar party for a similar "friend" and gets mad when the same lack of respect happens because consciously or sub-consciously, they were expecting it to be a two-way street. So when their expectations did not materialize, they were disappointed.
A friend of mine once summed up her life's outlook as follows: "If you live in the world of expectations, you're bound to be disappointed. So live in the world of possibilities instead, where anything is possible."
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Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you'll have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
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05-13-2008, 07:52 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
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Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo
as emo as men can be, I'm glad you're a man too. We dont' need any more emo women. thanks.
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I think you all should stop with the emo crap. Just because someone is having issues and needs to talk it out, does not mean they should be completely emotionless and ignore their feelings. Sounds like something my dad would say. "Emotions are for the weak!" |
05-13-2008, 07:57 PM
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Re: Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be angry?
You're only in control of yourself. You can't make people grateful, appreciative or any of the things you wish they would be. All you are in control of is how YOU react to things and you're only responsible for that. Try your best and the rest is out of your hands.
Being angry and bitter are futile, cause they won't have any impact on your friend or make her suddenly appreciate all the things you have done. If she suddenly seems "holier than thou" then say alhamdulillah and act in the way that is in accordance with Islam.
Whatever she did before marriage is between her and Allah. Allahu Alim...she may be better than all of us in so many other ways.
Its really hard when people don't acknowledge our efforts  , but its also a lesson in humility and it reminds us that we should do things ONLY for the sake of Allah, not for any recognition or praise. When we do things for the sake of Allah the outcome is of less importance.
Mash'Allah it was great that you did so much for her and may Allah reward you for your good.
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My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light
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