[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

err..no i wouldn't sign one

[Purple_alien]

After seeing how many of my friends' marriages ended horribly, I would certainly sign one. I think it protects my interests as well as my future husband's. I might be so excited about finally getting married (hey, I am getting older you know...) that I could potentially agree to anything. The prenup protects me from myself

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by Purple_alien

After seeing how many of my friends' marriages ended horribly, I would certainly sign one. I think it protects my interests as well as my future husband's. I might be so excited about finally getting married (hey, I am getting older you know...) that I could potentially agree to anything. The prenup protects me from myself

How would a pre-nuptial agreement prevent a marriage from ending horribly? You would still have all the acrimony, the yelling, the arguments, fights - basically the worst marriages you've ever seen. The agreement, depending on how it was written and what was included and if it is legally enforceable, would simply state who gets what in the event of a divorce.

But I don't see how it would prevent a marriage from ending "horribly" - unless your definition of a marriage ending "horribly" is one where the couple are bickering, fighting and having a long protracted legal battle over who gets what.

[Purple_alien]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

How would a pre-nuptial agreement prevent a marriage from ending horribly? You would still have all the acrimony, the yelling, the arguments, fights - basically the worst marriages you've ever seen. The agreement, depending on how it was written and what was included and if it is legally enforceable, would simply state who gets what in the event of a divorce.

But I don't see how it would prevent a marriage from ending "horribly" - unless your definition of a marriage ending "horribly" is one where the couple are bickering, fighting and having a long protracted legal battle over who gets what.

Ya, I meant it ended horribly in that they got screwed. If it's going to end, no piece of paper can prevent that. But having a document that proves she is entitled to certain things is definitely something they wished the had had.

[sally]

Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo

Wow, some people don't want wives, they want slaves with "benefits".

own..age...

[sumiyia]

how many people here have actually signed a prenup?

[ShahRukh]

Prenup shree-nup agreements are all too white stuff for me.


I'd neither sign one nor ask my future wife to sign it.


Your wife could become a mean of your sustinence and economic downfall as well (just like a natural disaster, theft, accident, etc.).


And I believe with full conviction that Allah swt alone gives and He alone takes it back.


Then why the .... fuzzle?

[Salika]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Prenup shree-nup agreements are all too white stuff for me.


I'd neither sign one nor ask my future wife to sign it.


Your wife could become a mean of your sustinence and economic downfall as well (just like a natural disaster, theft, accident, etc.).


And I believe with full conviction that Allah swt alone gives and He alone takes it back.


Then why the .... fuzzle?

"white stuff?" You do realize that the nikkah contract is very similar to a prenup. People just don't use it that way anymore because, in my opinion, they don't know what they can do with it and people don't know their fiqh.

And yes, only Allah gives and takes but we are still responsible for the means. As the proverb goes, trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

[dreamingofbeards]

Originally Posted by Hanbali

Well, I would never marry someone smarter than me (as if such a girl exists), nor would I marry someone who makes more money than me. I think money is power, and when a girl knows she makes more money than you, then she would abuse this in a way against the laws of Islam. Women nowadays are rebellious enough, even without having more money than the husband...one can only imagine those women that wear the pants in the relationship.

So to answer your question, I would never marry such a woman to begin with.

Don't worry. Such a woman would never marry you, either.

You know, I have a theory relating to why Muslim women are becoming more independent than ever before: a large portion of our male counterparts have become soft-spined and completely dependent beings who rely on their families for absolutely everything. I'm sorry, but this is the reality of the state of men.

And then they dare to turn their disapproving fingers at women who are simply responding to a real and tangible need in the community? That's just silly and immature.

So, no. I would not sign one. Clearly the likes of you, Hanbali, who cannot bear to think of a woman being more intelligent than him, is not worthy of having a woman sign any such thing. The only reason you ask for this is because of your own faults and feelings of inadequacy.

That, my friend, is sad.

[infamousbrown]

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

Don't worry. Such a woman would never marry you, either.

You know, I have a theory relating to why Muslim women are becoming more independent than ever before: a large portion of our male counterparts have become soft-spined and completely dependent beings who rely on their families for absolutely everything. I'm sorry, but this is the reality of the state of men.

Generalizations for the win! It'd be nice to flesh out that sweeping statement with an example, or at the very least specify what these soft spined men are doing/not doing.

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

And then they dare to turn their disapproving fingers at women who are simply responding to a real and tangible need in the community? That's just silly and immature.

I couldn't agree more. Highly educated Muslim women exist in droves. They contribute to society in numerous ways and are respected immesurably by society at large. However when they attend their local masajid and attempt to take part in the discourse regarding their own communities, they're told to go sit in the corner of a small room and often ignored. By idiots.

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

So, no. I would not sign one. Clearly the likes of you, Hanbali, who cannot bear to think of a woman being more intelligent than him, is not worthy of having a woman sign any such thing. The only reason you ask for this is because of your own faults and feelings of inadequacy.

That, my friend, is sad.

Equating the drawing up of a prenuptial agreement to the machinations of an insecure male mind is oversimplifying the issue slightly.

There are plenty of good reasons to consider creating such a contract.

So a faulty syllogism was presented by an often misogynistic guy.

That doesn't negate the value in the idea, it just needs to be framed in a slightly less idiotic context.

[sally]

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

You know, I have a theory relating to why Muslim women are becoming more independent than ever before: a large portion of our male counterparts have become soft-spined and completely dependent beings who rely on their families for absolutely everything. I'm sorry, but this is the reality of the state of men.

do these families happen to consist of...other males?

[Budmano786]

I don't think I'd ask for a prenuptial agreement. If a divorce were to happen though (God forbid), I would want everything handled in an Islamic fashion. So whatever I'm supposed to get, I should get...and whatever she's supposed to get, she should get. Thats the only thing I'd ask for...and if a girl were to say no to that, then I think it is problematic. To be honest, I don't even know what the Islamic divorce laws are, but its obviously the most fair and correct thing to do...so thats what I would want done. Sounds oversimplified...but makes sense to me.

[Salika]

Originally Posted by Budmano786

I don't think I'd ask for a prenuptial agreement. If a divorce were to happen though (God forbid), I would want everything handled in an Islamic fashion. So whatever I'm supposed to get, I should get...and whatever she's supposed to get, she should get. Thats the only thing I'd ask for...and if a girl were to say no to that, then I think it is problematic. To be honest, I don't even know what the Islamic divorce laws are, but its obviously the most fair and correct thing to do...so thats what I would want done. Sounds oversimplified...but makes sense to me.

The Islamic divorce laws basically give the girl the mahr (if she had a split mahr) and the man has to support any children of course. If she initiates the divorce, the mahr law is applied differently, depending on the reasons why she divorced. If it was something stupid, she doesn't get anything, if it's legit, she gets shtuff.

Many women nowadays though demand alimony.

[Budmano786]

Originally Posted by Salika

if it's legit, she gets shtuff.

its funny the way you spelled "shtuff" ...we had family over this weekend and we were all sitting around the living room and one of my cousins was calling over my baby niece named Sana and said "Shanaaaaa, come **** beside me"

anyways, when you say many women demand alimony...is that something in the pre-nup? if you were to request that Islamic laws are enforced, then are they still entitled to an alimony? would it be islamically wrong to ask for alimony? i'm honestly just curious