[dreamingofbeards]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

The success of marriage lies in communication. For example, the wife's face must communicate with the back of my hand.

I pray that Allah (swt) protects your future wife from you.

and/or

unites you with someone who has a black belt.

Ameen

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

I pray that Allah (swt) protects your future wife from you.

and/or

unites you with someone who has a black belt.

Ameen

SERIOUSLY!!! And to think, he's the only who started a thread about how treating your wife badly is haram! I wonder about his defition of bad treatment.

edit: I think he would totally dig being married to a girl who could kick his butt, he just strikes me as that kind of guy.

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by Salika

It's not really an assumption, it's a fact. I asked people who wrote their contracts and they'd be like "oh the imam did" or and if you ask most people, it's very simple. I say the nikkah contract is like the prenup because you can put things in there. It's not just "ok, I'll marry you." A prenup isn't just about money...

Nobody expects their marriage to break. if I truly felt that way, I would not have gone into it in the first place. This has nothing to do with confidence of the success of the marriage but rather, it's about making sure you'd be ok just in case something goes wrong. I'm sure there are tons of people who go into their nikkah with full confidence but look at our divorce rate.

Signing a prenup has nothing to do with how you think your marriage is going to turn out. It's just making sure that in the event something goes wrong, you're protected because no matter how confidently you go into it, these things happen. Of course one's marriage should always be worked out and divorce should be a very last resort, having a prenup does not take away from that.

Your personal surveys of the little muslim community you have experience with reflects little to nothing of the realities of the muslim community at large...

If prenup isn't just about money, what exactly its about? honestly you're the first person i heard saying pre-nup isn't just about money...

Prenups reek of financial insecurities... it shows your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. in the event if something goes wrong, how a little piece of paper is going to protect you? it's just beyond me...

My cousin is a doctor in NJC and going to become a prof soon, he married into a multi-millionaire family (hes a millionaire himself), paid 50k cash in mehr alone, there was no question of a prenup...

Heck..my sis was asked to sign a prenup by my BIL, but his parents told him not to ask, and rightly so...before my sis would have told him off...

There's been couple of divorces too...one cousin paid a hundred and few thousand dollars to his ex...he has no regrets. I have tens of examples here from my own family of religious people as well as not so practicing people...all very well-off. the pre-nup thing is pretty unheard of...

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

I pray that Allah (swt) protects your future wife from you.

and/or

unites you with someone who has a black belt.

Ameen

Dang...Isn't Jaysh so intimidating eh?

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by dreamingofbeards

I pray that Allah (swt) protects your future wife from you.

and/or

unites you with someone who has a black belt.

Ameen

Sister, you know I was joking right? I would never lay a hand on a woman. Never have, never will. Insha-Allah.

[rawrr]

I don't think I would be offended if my partner wanted me to sign one; loads of people feel insecure nowadays.

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

Sister, you know I was joking right? I would never lay a hand on a woman. Never have, never will. Insha-Allah.

Whether or not you were kidding, the statement was in poor taste.

[zakk]

You don't "obey" your husband necessarily because you think he is better than you. You do it for the sake of Allah.
An ideal marriage is on where both parties reference their behavior to Allah and not to each other, because quite frankly sometimes you find yourself in a period where both of you make each other angry, and feed off of that, and the only way to get out of that is to remember what the true purpose of marriage, of anything, is - to please Allah.

Similarly, you should not simply seek a wife indoctrinated by culture into obedience just to please yourself. You should seek a wife who understands her duties to Allah within the marriage. Sometimes the cultural definition of obedience is rather ridiculous, which is why there is so much negative reaction to the very word obedience. You want someone who understands Islam, not culture, because what you want imparted to your children is Islam, not culture. And also you need to understand that being a rank above is an automatic designation. It is there whether or not you deserve it. Please strive to deserve the status Allah has given you.

Having authority does not mean that you will not be held accountable if you abuse it.

Also, if you have a certain rank, then you have a certain rank. It always bewilders me when some men, instead of being gracious about it, seek to prove their "elevated" rank by trying to debase a woman. Boggles my mind.

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by LEGALEAGLE

Pre-nups aren't absolutely enforceable in English Law. Once again there is *no* such thing as *british* law.

They may be considered as evidence of intentions.

A pre-nup isn't just about financial matters. Its about the couple stating what their expectations are.

Trust me during a divorce things can get *really* bitter and money becomes only *one* of several cudgels the parties use to beat each other.

Originally Posted by LEGALEAGLE

I think you guys have the wrong idea...pre-nups are about more than ancillary matters..they are a 'statement of intent' from the parties...

Basically the parties are saying to each other this is what I expect..eg us going out and having a candle-lit dinner once a week...help with the ironing, washing up...its not absolute but if the couple are having problems it allows them to look again at whats going wrong

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

If prenup isn't just about money, what exactly its about? honestly you're the first person i heard saying pre-nup isn't just about money...

Prenups reek of financial insecurities... it shows your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. in the event if something goes wrong, how a little piece of paper is going to protect you? it's just beyond me...

I know the Islamican girls are distracting, but pay closer attention. Legal brought it up about 5 pages ago. Twice.

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by PhDGirl

Whether or not you were kidding, the statement was in poor taste.

I got a lot of rep for it.

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by Jaysh

I got a lot of rep for it.

I'm not at all surprised.

[Glasgow]

For me, the word "obedient" conjures up the image of a dog.

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Glasgow

For my the word "obedient" conjures up the image of a dog.

I'm sure that has nothing to do with the phrase "obedience training" which invovles getting your dog to poop outside, and not on the carpet (among other things).

Jaysh needs obedience training.

[Jaysh]

On a serious note, why do you women deny that a wife has to be obedient? Is this not a part of your religion?

[Bluestar]

No it's not Is stupidity part of yours because you're doing very well if it is?

[Jaysh]

Originally Posted by Bluestar

No it's not Is stupidity part of yours because you're doing very well if it is?

Perhaps you have a religion which you think is superior to the Religion of Muhammad [s]?

The Prophet [s] said:

"If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her modesty and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, “Enter Paradise through whichever gate of Paradise you wish.'"

(Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 1573; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 660)

And the Prophet [s] said:

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anything other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman will fulfill her d