[Rambo]

do you have a preference on which ethnic group would like to marry in?

[Hanbali]

no...........................................

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by Rambo

do you have a preference on which ethnic group would like to marry in?

I'd prefer someone of my own culture (Seraiki-speaking Balochi-Sindhi) for language and culture reasons, but it's been impossible so far. For some reason, there's not a whole lot of drive and ambition amongst our guys...by the time I finished undergrad, I was more educated than 95% of the men. They have an unfortunate tendency these days to be lazy and live off whatever they make as minor zamindars (no matter how much or how little that might be).

Not too many of us have left Sindh, and I'm not about to import a husband just so that he can be a "rais"and sit around at home while I work to support the family and a nanny takes care of the kids. Our traditional culture is dying, and I'm afraid there's not too many left that I would consider to be real men any more.

So, the default is desi, preferably Pakistani, because that poses fewer problems as far as going back to visit family in the future.

[nooni]

lol this thread reminds me when me and my family got into a conversation like five years ago about this topic.... all i remember was my mom saying "your father is an Arab, im an Arab, your an Arab, and you will marry an Arab" no one argued with her before or after she made the comment, but when she said that it sounded like it was a punishment to marry an Arab, like we were doomed to do so

[sally]

im not hell bent on this or anything but i like people from my culture because theyre really familiar to me and the customs and language etc all sound like...home, i guess. it's a nice feeling.

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by nooni

lol this thread reminds me when me and my family got into a conversation like five years ago about this topic.... all i remember was my mom saying "your father is an Arab, im an Arab, your an Arab, and you will marry an Arab" no one argued with her before or after she made the comment, but when she said that it sounded like it was a punishment to marry an Arab, like we were doomed to do so

Hehe - like YOU WILL SUCCUMB TO YOUR FATE!

[vegetables]

no... but im iffy about desis because i don't like being chided for not knowing the language and being the odd man out whenever a conversation is going on

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by vegetables

no... but im iffy about desis because i don't like being chided for not knowing the language and being the odd man out whenever a conversation is going on

Very good that you know the risks associated with it beforehand. Are you a convert? Especially if you're white I pray that you never marry a desi. I'm only half-white and I know the language and I still feel left out/different. Good luck

Also this topic is stupid and the same topic that was just recently discussed/is still being discussed in like 4 other threads.

[Abdul_Karim]

White women.

I'm white, btw.

[LEGALEAGLE]

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

I'd prefer someone of my own culture (Seraiki-speaking Balochi-Sindhi) for language and culture reasons, but it's been impossible so far. For some reason, there's not a whole lot of drive and ambition amongst our guys...by the time I finished undergrad, I was more educated than 95% of the men. They have an unfortunate tendency these days to be lazy and live off whatever they make as minor zamindars (no matter how much or how little that might be).

Not too many of us have left Sindh, and I'm not about to import a husband just so that he can be a "rais"and sit around at home while I work to support the family and a nanny takes care of the kids. Our traditional culture is dying, and I'm afraid there's not too many left that I would consider to be real men any more.

So, the default is desi, preferably Pakistani, because that poses fewer problems as far as going back to visit family in the future.

Itsa not so bad...I don't think its just the sindhi guys there's quite a few other groups like that as well who seem to have completely lost any sense of ghayrat.

Its a question of finding somebody who has a desire to succeed but isn't obsessed with money or the end itself. More the desire to out compete

Originally Posted by thejellymill

Very good that you know the risks associated with it beforehand. Are you a convert? Especially if you're white I pray that you never marry a desi. I'm only half-white and I know the language and I still feel left out/different. Good luck

Also this topic is stupid and the same topic that was just recently discussed/is still being discussed in like 4 other threads.

With respect there's lots of people in my family who're from different cultures and I've never known any of my family members to make fun of them for not knowing the language. On the contrary there's always been a curiosity to learn the outsiders language. I suppose its because we speak 5 languages at home..

[vegetables]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

Very good that you know the risks associated with it beforehand. Are you a convert? Especially if you're white I pray that you never marry a desi. I'm only half-white and I know the language and I still feel left out/different. Good luck

Also this topic is stupid and the same topic that was just recently discussed/is still being discussed in like 4 other threads.

I'm full Pakistani but I was never taught the language and the cultural influence was minimal. Two of my older siblings can speak Urdu fluently which I assume is because before I was born my family lived in a more Desi neighborhood. When I was really young we moved away to a more diverse neighborhood and never looked back. Thanks for the advice

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by LEGALEAGLE

Itsa not so bad...I don't think its just the sindhi guys there's quite a few other groups like that as well who seem to have completely lost any sense of ghayrat.

Well, that doesn't really make me feel much better.

Its a question of finding somebody who has a desire to succeed but isn't obsessed with money or the end itself. More the desire to out compete

Indeed.

[Salika]

Well I'm Syrian and married a Syrian though I was not bent on it, it just kind of worked out. It's kind of neat though because my husband is like Syrian and desi at the same time. He cracks desi jokes and when we go somewhere he'll be like "chaloo yaar!" or he'll ask his larki is

[LEGALEAGLE]

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

Well, that doesn't really make me feel much better.

*hands you a *

[fatima]

Originally Posted by vegetables

no... but im iffy about desis because i don't like being chided for not knowing the language and being the odd man out whenever a conversation is going on

replace the word desi w/ arab and thats exactly how i feel. not that im against marrying an arab per se, but i cant see myself fitting in with a family that was really into arab culture and expected me to be as well. cuz im just....not.

Originally Posted by Salika

Well I'm Syrian and married a Syrian though I was not bent on it, it just kind of worked out. It's kind of neat though because my husband is like Syrian and desi at the same time. He cracks desi jokes and when we go somewhere he'll be like "chaloo yaar!" or he'll ask his larki is

haha thats cute