"Rain Over Surabaya" (Kona Silat Reporting from Indonesia)

TdotGirl · #61 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

define what u mean by being ''emotionally involved''. I really think you're being a little idealistic. I wouldn't put such dreams into peoples minds...that they'll be overwhelmed with ''true love'' the moment u get married. How does that even work? Maintaining no ''attachement'' for months leading up the wedding and then the moment they accept they're filled with love. Slightly delusional.

this is the barakah (blessings) Allah swt puts in your marriage if you are obedient. inshAllah

ShahRukh · #62 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TdotGirl

this is the barakah (blessings) Allah swt puts in your marriage if you are obedient. inshAllah

translate: the joy of getting laid...finally

TdotGirl · #63 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

translate: the joy of getting laid...finally

what is WRONG with you? lahawlwalaqwataillabillah

Ilikemyscarf · #64 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TdotGirl

what is WRONG with you? lahawlwalaqwataillabillah

isn't it obvious, ya ukhti?

ShahRukh · #65 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TdotGirl

what is WRONG with you? lahawlwalaqwataillabillah

Relax.

I was mocking your lame attempt at defining what true 'love' is that virtually strikes you the day you get married. like. wow.

I agree with zzze's post.

Timbit · #66 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 04:59 PM

Why's everybody hating on TdotGirl? She knows what she's talking about, fools.

I heard a scholar at RIS say pretty much the same thing about getting barakah in your marriage. Allah places love and mercy between your hearts.

Reserve your emotional attachment for your husband/wife, InshaAllah. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache.

LEGALEAGLE · #67 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

We do...its called lust.

Quote:

Originally Posted by zakk

synergetic interface?

Awesome

Quote:

Originally Posted by MossadConspiracy

salam

cant you people tell that the entire story is make believe?

he was going to indonesia so he made up this romance story to laugh at gullible people in a smug manner

ws

No....you don't say...

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinkerbell

Love is patience and patience is a virtue.

In other words, be patience. Good things happens to those that wait.

If it turns out that she’s not the one then she isn’t. Don’t ponder on it. Obviously the right one is waiting for you. She’ll come, just believe in yourself.

That sucks for you.

one day you'll understand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TdotGirl

This is for you and others that had asked me to elaborate. I'm not implying you shouldn't get to know your potential spouses, by all means find out everything you need to know about them. try the 100 pre-marital questions on sunni path,

BUT...make sure you keep them at an arms length...if you find yourself getting emotionally involved, get married immediately or stop being so intimate! Islamic protocol exists for a reason, it protects our sanity. If we got attached to every rishta then we we'd be too emotionally drained to offer our spouses what they deserve.

Trust me, real love enters your heart the moment you get married. This is from Allah swt..and its the real deal, yo.

It only becomes an issue if you tell each other you're doing it for potential rishta reasons.

I have several female friends I've known for years

zzze · #68 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 09:14 PM

assalamu alaykum

Quote:

Originally Posted by YOUSUFofSD

I agree, if you at fully in love right when you get married...seems to me like some hanky panky was going on that shouldn't have been before the nikah/wedding.

That confused me. If ''hanky panky'' was going on prior the wedding, wouldn't they have fallen in love before they got married?

Quote:

Originally Posted by TdotGirl

this is the barakah (blessings) Allah swt puts in your marriage if you are obedient. inshAllah

...Insha Allah, but I still disagree.

YOUSUFofSD · #69 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

That confused me. If ''hanky panky'' was going on prior the wedding, wouldn't they have fallen in love before they got married?

True except it seems that you don't always have to be in love, to do that hanky panky. It can happen in both instances, both of which are wrong.

Timbit · #70 (**permalink**) 03-28-2008, 09:47 PM

You can be fully in love when you get married if you got to know your spouse beforehand in a halal way. That means no hanky panky, obviously.

ShahRukh · #71 (**permalink**) 03-29-2008, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbit

Why's everybody hating on TdotGirl? She knows what she's talking about, fools.

I heard a scholar at RIS say pretty much the same thing about getting barakah in your marriage. Allah places love and mercy between your hearts.

Reserve your emotional attachment for your husband/wife, InshaAllah. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache.

You'd know better what "barakah" translates to in a married life, right?

And one doesn't need to be married in order to receive Allah's mercy in the heart. Allah's mercy comes from being obedient, not marriage.

Lastly...No thanks. I dont need to be emotionally attached to any physical being other than the Creator.

Gosh...unmarried ppl should be the last ones to give marriage related advice.

zzze · #72 (**permalink**) 03-29-2008, 06:25 PM

asalamu alaykum

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbit

Why's everybody hating on TdotGirl? She knows what she's talking about, fools.

I heard a scholar at RIS say pretty much the same thing about getting barakah in your marriage. Allah places love and mercy between your hearts.

Reserve your emotional attachment for your husband/wife, InshaAllah. You'll save yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache.

I don't disgaree that Allah swt has placed mercy and love in marriage - it's stated clearly in the Qur'an. (I'm sure we have to facilitate the environment for that to happen though)

What I DO disagree on is the way TdotGirl is taking that to mean that it's bound to happen or can happen on your wedding day when there was no prior emotional attachment?

It's not like there's a net of love above ones head that's only released when one accepts ones spouse. Of course Allah swt can make happen whatever He wills, I'm just saying don't take it for granted.. it's likely that if one hasn't fallen for ones spouse prior to marriage...one might have to grow to love the other.

Kona_Silat · #73 (**permalink**) 04-10-2008, 07:33 PM

I tried my best to avoid coming to this thread. Again i want to thank you all for your advice. I am going through a difficult process right now and struggling with my faith. I wish I could get an explanation from her but i think it something i will live with. I've been told I always had a kind heart but i wonder if that is something i should continue to have. I am also struggling with my faith and with God. It is difficult for me to do dua and it is starting to be difficult for me to pray. I want God to destroy me and I sometimes ask for hellfire. I do not know what will happen to me..i don't know. Again thank you to everyone for their advice.

Ilikemyscarf · #74 (**permalink**) 04-10-2008, 07:42 PM

I hope you feel better.

LEGALEAGLE · #75 (**permalink**) 04-10-2008, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kona_Silat

I tried my best to avoid coming to this thread. Again i want to thank you all for your advice. I am going through a difficult process right now and struggling with my faith. I wish I could get an explanation fr