[Whatyosayin]

Thanks everyone. I guess just because someone is friends with your friends (friends who are respectable), and because someones family is religious, and they are of the same culture, nationality, community circle, does not mean their son is not a sleazebag in disgiuse. Sigh. He also told me how he had a relationship with a hijabi for three years, whom he wanted to marry, and they were kissing and hugging pretty early into their relationship because he has needs. What about Allah swt's requests of us? He said she was not comfortable at first but became okay with it later. Sigh. It always starts with the prik of a needle, but the needle will just become more and more dull as you keep banging it against the wall.

[Variable]

That really sucks... sorry to hear that.

[Bluestar]

yeah it does suck. It's disgusting how he's trying to make you feel guilty. As if he has needs and you're not providing. I hope you stand your ground, maintain your self respect and get rid of him because it would be better to live a lifetime alone than a lifetime with a loser

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by Whatyosayin

Salaams,

Is it normal these days for people to HAVE to get physical with their potential husband/wife before marriage? I have been getting to know someone in the past few weeks, and he keeps trying to get me to get physical with him, even though he knows my values, and how I feel about it. He says he understands, but when I told him I dont think it is right to cuddle and kiss and hold hands before marriage, he replied, "If you think you can justify it to yourself". OF COURSE I can justify it to myself, how can you justify zina to yourself? If you pray regularly, but also commit zina, dont you feel like less of a Muslim? That you are betraying Allah swt and what He decreed for us humans not to succumb to our desires? If a guy really likes a girl, and is interested in her for marriage, would he really make her feel guilty or feel asexual and prudish for not wanting to do anything before marriage? He asked me what I thought about his lips, or if I noticed them. Do guys ask these things to girls who are religious? He also told me that is very understanding of things, but these needs are important to him. What about what is important to Allah swt? It seems like most Muslims these days seem to not consider zina as a sin anymore. Am I overreacting or is this the norm these days?

Woah!

Hold your horses right there while i take out the snot from my left nostril.


Okay!



Before I take your post seriously, I'm gonna have to scrutinize your post.

So first of all, are you actually trying to convince us that you're so beautiful that your muslim brother/boyfriend cannot possibly refrain himself from touching you?

Secondly, who told you that kissing, cuddling, or any of that geeky gay stuff is actually zina? Where you been learning your Islam from?

[Variable]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Woah!

Hold your horses right there while i take out the snot from my left nostril.


Okay!



Before I take your post seriously, I'm gonna have to scrutinize your post.

So first of all, are you actually trying to convince us that you're so beautiful that your muslim brother/boyfriend cannot refrain from touching you?

You wouldn't happen to be the guy would you?

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Woah!

Hold your horses right there while i take out the snot from my left nostril.

Okay!

Before I take your post seriously, I'm gonna have to scrutinize your post.

So first of all, are you actually trying to convince us that you're so beautiful that your muslim brother/boyfriend cannot possibly refrain himself from touching you?

Secondly, who told you that kissing, cuddling, or any of that geeky gay stuff is actually zina? Where you been learning your Islam from?

What if your own sister or daughter was in this situation? Would you say any of that to her?

Have some respect, bro.

[Bluestar]

"Shockingly" he's trying to be funny. As usual, there's no humour in his posts. He must be memon.

[Whatyosayin]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Woah!

Hold your horses right there while i take out the snot from my left nostril.


Okay!



Before I take your post seriously, I'm gonna have to scrutinize your post.

So first of all, are you actually trying to convince us that you're so beautiful that your muslim brother/boyfriend cannot possibly refrain himself from touching you?

Secondly, who told you that kissing, cuddling, or any of that geeky gay stuff is actually zina? Where you been learning your Islam from?

1) No, I am not saying I am so beautiful that he cant keep his hands off of me. I dont think that has anything to do with it all. I think this has to do with someone trying to test my boundaries and see if they can get away with it, instead of respecting them. OR, he is just a total perv who really doesnt have any Islamic values at all, and really just because he prays, doesnt mean we have anything in common. He calls himself "balanced", I call it extreme.

2) Don't try to trick me. Maybe you should read up on Islam again yourself, regarding controlling your desires, nafs, etc.

[Whatyosayin]

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

What if your own sister or daughter was in this situation? Would you say any of that to her?

Have some respect, bro.

Another thing that I dont get, is that his sister, who is hijabi, also has had boyfriends, and he is perfectly fine with that. Whats more respectable, wearing hijab, or refraining from fitnah and zina? I dont know anymore!

[displaced]

Originally Posted by Whatyosayin

Maybe I should also add that I am not hijabi, so for some reason, people think that non-hijabis are "liberal" and willing to do anything, but thats not true. Also, most of my friends are married these days, and alot of them were quite liberal with their boyfriends before marriage, which makes me wonder if that is a prerequisite for all guys. If I dont get physical before marriage, but not wear hijab, does this mean I am never going to get married??? Surely, not everyone is like this?

from one "liberal" non-hijabi to another, I'll tell you this: even if he wants to make out with you and his sense of haramness isn't factoring into his actions, he should have enough respect for what you want to not pressure you.

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by Whatyosayin

1) No, I am not saying I am so beautiful that he cant keep his hands off of me. I dont think that has anything to do with it all. I think this has to do with someone trying to test my boundaries and see if they can get away with it, instead of respecting them. OR, he is just a total perv who really doesnt have any Islamic values at all, and really just because he prays, doesnt mean we have anything in common. He calls himself "balanced", I call it extreme.

2) Don't try to trick me. Maybe you should read up on Islam again yourself, regarding controlling your desires, nafs, etc.

I can see you're trying too hard to paint the guy in negative light and attempting to depict yourself as the virgin Marry here.


What were you doing with the guy alone when he asked you those questions? If you're so pious yourself, why did you choose to go out/hang out with him?


Also, why didn't you just dump/leave him right on spot when he was physically getting closer to you or making such suggestions?


p.s. I'm not trying to trick you or anyone. In fact I'm trying my best not to be tricked by any random internet poster here for some sympathy points. We get such trolls in dozens here every week.


p.s. Kissing, cuddling, and even foreplay are not considered Zina in Islam, those are major sins that lead to zina, hence major haram. Zina alone is the act of adultery. Get your facts right about Islam.Unless the guy was asking you for sex, theres no need to paint him in such negative light and accuse him of things he didn't actually suggest.

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by Variable

You wouldn't happen to be the guy would you?

Nah, I'm far too cool to be the supposed bad guy described in the post below.

P.S. I highly recommend you keep your gay posts to yourself. Thanks

Originally Posted by Bruinrab

What if your own sister or daughter was in this situation? Would you say any of that to her?

Have some respect, bro.

Dude....are you actually dumb enough to take anyone that decides to register on islamica just to post on here literally?

The girl seems to be very emotionally charged right now, so I am taking her posts with a grain of salt, thats all.

p.s. I'm gonna have to warn you for the first and last time to never try bringing in my family members in online discussions.

Originally Posted by Bluestar

"Shockingly" he's trying to be funny. As usual, there's no humour in his posts. He must be memon.

Sorry to dash your hopes, I am not memon.

You know, people with no sense of humour and with simply no manners and standards, I like to walk by, wave at them whilst saying "BuhBye!"

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Sorry to dash your hopes, I am not memon.

You know, people with no sense of humour and with simply no manners and standards, I like to walk by, wave at them whilst saying "BuhBye!"

wow, and you've still got a crap sense of humour, that's just unlucky.

[Jamroll]

That man is a dawwwwg!

Gurl, you need to kick him to the kerb. Kick him to the kerb!!

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

no, blue, ur just too dumb to understand his genius-ness. His wit and humour is far beyond compare and we should instead see him as our example.