STD testing and potential spouse(s)

sally · #1 (**permalink**) 01-02-2008, 11:29 PM

this topic came up amongst a group of people i was having a discussion with

would you ask your potential spouse to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases? the type of potential marriage, arranged or 'love' doesnt matter

i know this question might sound really sad/wrong..but people have pasts...and revealing sins in depth is wrong and stuff and probably not a good idea..so, IMO, you couldnt be sure..

like even if somene had a 'past' and repented and you just knew that they didnt always used to be 'good'..and it had only been a short while since theyd been good..you wouldnt necessarily have physical/medical indication show up that quick in all cases

and also it would be terrible if they took offense to such a thing.. i mean, really, i guess..who wouldnt?? but isnt it like a completely valid request on your part? hmm.

this is meant to be a serious discussion. any stupid/vulgar jokes will not be tolerated.

Timbit · #2 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 12:13 AM

Yep. Would definitely, definitely ask them to get tested.
It's very important.

Why wouldn't you?
It's really nothing to be offended about. I'd do it too.

jinnzaman · #3 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 12:28 AM

I might be mistaken, but aren't some STDs spread through non-sexual means as well? I dont think it hurts to ask. If your gonna marry someone, you gotta know what they got and not. Its better to be safe than sorry. This is just something that people are gonna have to deal with. If someone freaks out either they're hiding something or their asses in which case you shouldn't be marrying them either way.

displaced · #4 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 03:20 AM

no, I wouldn't ask..because I'd be offended if it were asked of me.

MossadConspiracy · #5 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 05:30 AM

of course not

zzze · #6 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 05:34 AM

asslamau alaykum

Nope.

Jamroll · #7 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jinnzaman

If someone freaks out either they're hiding something or their asses in which case you shouldn't be marrying them either way.

I don't necessarily agree with this. Just because someone freaks out, doesn't mean they'd be hiding something. They might just be thrown by such a request.

Firstly, I think, I, like most people, would react in the way that displaced mentioned - i.e. to get offended. Secondly, it might just be me, but I think I would find myself wondering what kind of experiences the person who's asking me for a STD test has had, that they are asking for a hospital approved STD-free status.

Jamroll · #8 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sally

like even if somene had a 'past' and repented and you just knew that they didnt always used to be 'good'..and it had only been a short while since theyd been good..you wouldnt necessarily have physical/medical indication show up that quick in all cases

I think in this case, the person you're asking should be a bit more open-minded perhaps, and even understand the reasons you're asking them to take a test, i.e. if they've had a history of promiscuous relations with various people.

But I think if you ask someone who has maybe been married before, or someone who has tried to keep themselves on a path of "clean living", they would probably be quite offended. Initially at least.

Anderson · #9 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 06:09 AM

I think you should trust your partner even if you have to get a std to consolidate that trust in the end all you need is love.

LEGALEAGLE · #10 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by displaced

no, I wouldn't ask..because I'd be offended if it were asked of me.

errrm...a friend once asked me how far I thought she'd gone with an ex-boyfriend...she *wasn't* too pleased with my reply.

Despite people saying they would like to be open I can see stuff like this leading to disputes.

It best that *both* parties agree to do STD tests.

Ilikemyscarf · #11 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 01:19 PM

Hell yeah.

Variable · #12 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 01:23 PM

Well I think it'd be okay, as long as you went along and got one with them as well.

Timbit · #13 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 02:05 PM

Wow, I can't believe all of you saying no and that it's offensive.

You guys think Muslims are immune from STIs? That Muslims don't do anything before marriage and your partner won't lie to you?

Jamroll · #14 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Timbit

Wow, I can't believe all of you saying no and that it's offensive.

You guys think Muslims are immune from STIs? That Muslims don't do anything before marriage and your partner won't lie to you?

C'mon, Timby. If a guy came round to ask you to marry him, but before getting married, he asked you to take a test to rule out STDs, you wouldn't be offended?

raatkirani2005 · #15 (**permalink**) 01-03-2008, 02:11 PM

A generation back, wasn't a blood test a mandatory requirement for a marriage license?