[nooni]

Originally Posted by Anderson

OMG....What if......somebody touched his sister in law and then got her pregnant without knowing the baby was his and then twenty years later arranged a cousin marriage for the kid with his other kid not knowing it was a half/brother-sister marriage....how disguisting, shame on you showkat, SHAME ON YOU

its good to have u back

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Anderson

OMG....What if......somebody touched his sister in law and then got her pregnant without knowing the baby was his and then twenty years later arranged a cousin marriage for the kid with his other kid not knowing it was a half/brother-sister marriage....how disguisting, shame on you showkat, SHAME ON YOU

waaaaaiiii..... Showkat didn't just find out the girl he's been pining for for the last 2 years is actually his half-sister did he? Oh how tragic. Too bad you don't live in Apalachia, you could marry her anyway and nobody would bat an eye

[iamcrazy]

One our nieghbours, [typical asain family]
the wife hides her face from the rest of the brother in laws, hardly talks to them
and doesnt stay in the same room as them alone....

so depends.

p.s dookey

[Anderson]

Originally Posted by iamcrazy

One our nieghbours, [typical asain family]
the wife hides her face from the rest of the brother in laws, hardly talks to them
and doesnt stay in the same room as them alone....

so depends.

p.s dookey

I don't think the problem stems from anything cultural, but more likely a very horny mindset which wants to bone everything. Knowing a woman doesn't mean you're going to fornicate, neither does being related to her, neither does talking to her.

Wanting to fornicate usually leads to fornication if the other person is attracted you and seriously if you don't have enough self control to not want to bone your sister in law there is something really messed up about you.

[Warmheart4u2007]

Let us be clear and bold!

Should we have families where women and men are strictly segregated i.e
no cousine, no na-mehrum relative i.e

every woman would strictly observe hijab from all na-mehrum relatives of the husband i.e brothers-in-law and all the other male relatives.

every man would strictly observe hijab from all na-mehrum relatives of the wife i.e sisters-in-law and all the other female relatives.

The let me post a question. Is that possible,practical ,reasonable and logical.
Would we have any society then.:smilie:

[lol_lol]

Originally Posted by Anderson

I don't think the problem stems from anything cultural, but more likely a very horny mindset which wants to bone everything. Knowing a woman doesn't mean you're going to fornicate, neither does being related to her, neither does talking to her.

Wanting to fornicate usually leads to fornication if the other person is attracted you and seriously if you don't have enough self control to not want to bone your sister in law there is something really messed up about you.

for the love of god please stop saying bone

[plops]

Did someone say.....bone?

Whos boning who?

Showkat, you boning your sister in law?

Astags dude





Thats haram dude.




I think.

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Warmheart4u2007

Let us be clear and bold!

Should we have families where women and men are strictly segregated i.e
no cousine, no na-mehrum relative i.e

every woman would strictly observe hijab from all na-mehrum relatives of the husband i.e brothers-in-law and all the other male relatives.

every man would strictly observe hijab from all na-mehrum relatives of the wife i.e sisters-in-law and all the other female relatives.

The let me post a question. Is that possible,practical ,reasonable and logical.
Would we have any society then.:smilie:

You have to draw the line somewhere, or people like Showkat are going to be forbiden to marry their true loves becuase of the brother-sister marriage taboo.

[HiJaBi_ShAh]

Originally Posted by shsh

you are so sick....

No actually that was just too funny

[hershel_krustowski]

Originally Posted by Showkat

Salaams All

Its typical of asian families that the brother in-law is accepted to joke around with his elder brothers wife. It could be his elder cousins wife or anyone else he regards as an older brother who has a wife.

I have seen people joking with their bhabi and some of the discussions and jokes are very explicit and filthy.

Also it is accepted to get physical in terms of the joking and I have seen this as well, often unintentionally certain parts of the body is touched, but since its only joking and messing about it is seen as normal.

The result of such joking and messing about is that it sometimes leads to fornication and again I have heard of many such cases. The child of such a liason is brought up not knowing who the father is and the real father does not know that his nephew/neice is actually his son/ daughter.

I would like to know the views of other members on this:

How can we prevent such practices?

How do we explain to our parents/ elders who are pious in terms of their ibadat that such things is haram?

And have you seen or experienced such cultural practices?

Some excellent views here Relationship with your bhabi ( sister in-law ) and Dhula bhai ( brother in-law) - 7th Century Generation

Well the good news is, your not Allah Mia so you don't have to worry about anyone else.

In even better news, you ARE infact an individual. Which gives you the right to figure out how YOU will deal with this at a personal level and not worry about others.

[bluey]

Assalam Alaykum

Originally Posted by iamcrazy

One our nieghbours, [typical asain family]
the wife hides her face from the rest of the brother in laws, hardly talks to them
and doesnt stay in the same room as them alone....

so depends.

p.s dookey

My Sister does the Niqaab and she keeps her distance from her brother-in-laws too. Not that she doesn't say Salaam or speak to them at all - but she isn't comfortable with sitting down with them and having long talks. I don't think it has to do with culture - some of it might but not really. In fact her brother-in-laws have never seen her face. Some people might view that as extreme, but honestly, I don't see any problem with it.

It depends on family to family and person to person and religion plays a big role in it.

After all, a brother-in-law is still a brother-in-law. And I've heard quite a few cases about how marriages have broken down because there was an affair and so on. I'm not saying you shouldn't be comfortable with the in-laws, but for like everything, there are limits to how 'friendly' you can and should get.

Ma'asalama

[Ibn Abu Ibrahim]

Originally Posted by hershel_krustowski

Well the good news is, your not Allah Mia so you don't have to worry about anyone else.

In even better news, you ARE infact an individual. Which gives you the right to figure out how YOU will deal with this at a personal level and not worry about others.

It's not like the Qur'an talks about enjoining the good, or any type of communal obligation towards establishing justice.

Right?

[Anderson]

Originally Posted by bluey

Assalam Alaykum



My Sister does the Niqaab and she keeps her distance from her brother-in-laws too. Not that she doesn't say Salaam or speak to them at all - but she isn't comfortable with sitting down with them and having long talks. I don't think it has to do with culture - some of it might but not really. In fact her brother-in-laws have never seen her face. Some people might view that as extreme, but honestly, I don't see any problem with it.

It depends on family to family and person to person and religion plays a big role in it.

After all, a brother-in-law is still a brother-in-law. And I've heard quite a few cases about how marriages have broken down because there was an affair and so on. I'm not saying you shouldn't be comfortable with the in-laws, but for like everything, there are limits to how 'friendly' you can and should get.

Ma'asalama

Well duh, of course there are limits....you just have to keep things formal and simple, there's a difference between saying hi to someone (which the original poster opposes) and deep conversations.

I'd never let any guy talk for more than 10 seconds with my wives, I'd be like ***** times up go loosen it off.

[Timbit]

Okay, seriously... how often does that happen, really? Idiots.