[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by displaced

I don't want a contract. I'll accept the hand fate deals me.

In order to trust and accept Allah's Qadr, you have to first do the work then trust him donchaknow

[Ilikemyscarf]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

So you're willing to give your life away to a complete stranger with just a verbal agreement?

A contract ensures a woman can keep her rights as well as prevent either party from being taken advantage of.

When a couple meets, it's practically impossible to know all the ins and outs of the other party even if you spend years doing it, because they don't live together.

All the benefits of a contract outweigh it's potential disadvantages. I pity the girl who goes into marriage without a contract. It might go well, but that's a very slim chance...

Why would anyone marry a complete stranger?

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

Why would anyone marry a complete stranger?

Even if you know them for a few years, they're still strangers donchaknow. Unless you wanna marry your cousin

[Caramel_Candy]

Tickets to the game and a Wii.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

So you're willing to give your life away to a complete stranger with just a verbal agreement?

A contract ensures a woman can keep her rights as well as prevent either party from being taken advantage of.

When a couple meets, it's practically impossible to know all the ins and outs of the other party even if you spend years doing it, because they don't live together.

All the benefits of a contract outweigh it's potential disadvantages. I pity the girl who goes into marriage without a contract. It might go well, but that's a very slim chance...

No, I'm asking what the point of a contract is.
How's a written agreement gonna help you, if it's not legally bounding?

Let's say my husband and I agree on something, when we're getting married. We both sign the contract. After marriage, he changes his mind on something. So I show him the contract he's signed? What next? He's gonna change his mind simply 'cause he had agreed to it before?

[nectar]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

So you're willing to give your life away to a complete stranger with just a verbal agreement?

A contract ensures a woman can keep her rights as well as prevent either party from being taken advantage of.

When a couple meets, it's practically impossible to know all the ins and outs of the other party even if you spend years doing it, because they don't live together.

All the benefits of a contract outweigh it's potential disadvantages. I pity the girl who goes into marriage without a contract. It might go well, but that's a very slim chance...

I know of alottt of people who have been married without contracts (including myself), and marriage is great (no regrets whatsoever).

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by Timbit

No, I'm asking what the point of a contract is.
How's a written agreement gonna help you, if it's not legally bounding?

Let's say my husband and I agree on something, when we're getting married. We both sign the contract. After marriage, he changes his mind on something. So I show him the contract he's signed? What next? He's gonna change his mind simply 'cause he had agreed to it before?

you're right, it's pointless. People just do it to assert independence in a marriage when they're not sure they're going to get it in the first place.

Eh, what happened to talking to the other person. This is why we have so many stupid laws in England, because the time of respecting another persons social and personal space and verbal requests has all flown out of the window so laws need to enforce it instead. It's not the same if you ask me. I wouldn't have a contract, i don't like the idea of it and i wouldn't marry anyone i didn't trust. If i was not happy, i would leave him. I'm not one to try to enforce something on someone anyway. They might have changed, circumstances might have changed. I'd just walk away, i'm good at that and wealth doesn't really mean anything in a world where you just live an average of 50-60 years, if that at all.

[wheelworks]

Ok to let this thread go back on track...

Let's just say this thread applies to the ones who see the value in Contracts.

What did/would you put in it?

[sally]

Can anyone post an example of an Islamic marriage contract? Do you get it notarized and stuff?

[shadha]

Ummm Islamic marriage contracts are legally binding, unless there are illegal stipulations in the contract that the court of law can't enforce. The contract serves as a form of protection and a reminder. That's not to say the contract can't ever be changed once signed, as long as both parties agree to the revised contract & sign to the revised contract, then it's all good.

Here's how I see it. If the husband goes back on his word, the agreement he made to the wife, in front of Allah, swt, in front of their witnesses, and in front of their community, then he's a douche bag. Plain and simple.

Say you get divorce and he refuses to acknowledge Islam's stance on the father being 100% financially responsible for his children, and you never had a contract, you then can't go to the government and expect that they uphold that Islamic ruling. There was no contract made, he may have verbally agreed to it in the beginning, but verbal agreements do not hold up in the court of law. Simple fact. Everything needs to be written out and signed. It doesn't even have to be notarized, just signed by the two parties and witnesses.

In terms of a second wife- homeboy can 'Islamically' marry her and not 'legally'. So here in the states, the second woman is his mistress not his wife [commonwealth states, such as Pennsylvania, may recognize religious ceremonies]. Sure, it's said that adultery is a crime here in the states, but it's a blue law so it's barely ever enforced. It's like sodomy. Many don't realize but sodomy between homosexuals or heterosexuals were actually still illegal in parts of the US up until 2003 [all except the military of course, where it is illegal]. Again, laws that weren't upheld.

Either way, it's not my problem if some sisters don't want a contract. It'll be them, not I, who'll be up ****s creek without a paddle or boat for that matter if things turn for the worst. They just shouldn't complain when it does, since they served themselves that plate.


shadha-

[Revert]

We didn't have a written contract, we swore to Allaah to uphold the islamic ideals of marriage to never withhold each others rights nor to forbid each other from seeing family.

The way i see it is if you need a contract then don't get married, thats just a personal view.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Revert

The way i see it is if you need a contract then don't get married, thats just a personal view.

Takes all sorts of people to make the world donchaknow. Different people, different intellects and different psychological states and all that sort of rot

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by shadha

Ummm Islamic marriage contracts are legally binding, unless there are illegal stipulations in the contract that the court of law can't enforce. The contract serves as a form of protection and a reminder. That's not to say the contract can't ever be changed once signed, as long as both parties agree to the revised contract & sign to the revised contract, then it's all good.

Here's how I see it. If the husband goes back on his word, the agreement he made to the wife, in front of Allah, swt, in front of their witnesses, and in front of their community, then he's a douche bag. Plain and simple.

Say you get divorce and he refuses to acknowledge Islam's stance on the father being 100% financially responsible for his children, and you never had a contract, you then can't go to the government and expect that they uphold that Islamic ruling. There was no contract made, he may have verbally agreed to it in the beginning, but verbal agreements do not hold up in the court of law. Simple fact. Everything needs to be written out and signed. It doesn't even have to be notarized, just signed by the two parties and witnesses.

In terms of a second wife- homeboy can 'Islamically' marry her and not 'legally'. So here in the states, the second woman is his mistress not his wife [commonwealth states, such as Pennsylvania, may recognize religious ceremonies]. Sure, it's said that adultery is a crime here in the states, but it's a blue law so it's barely ever enforced. It's like sodomy. Many don't realize but sodomy between homosexuals or heterosexuals were actually still illegal in parts of the US up until 2003 [all except the military of course, where it is illegal]. Again, laws that weren't upheld.

Either way, it's not my problem if some sisters don't want a contract. It'll be them, not I, who'll be up ****s creek without a paddle or boat for that matter if things turn for the worst. They just shouldn't complain when it does, since they served themselves that plate.


shadha-

Are they legally binding?

But do you want your spouse legally bound to... "let" you continue your education, say? I mean, if they say no, then there are already some issues in your marriage. You wanna remind them that legally, they have to "allow" you to do what they agreed to, and remain married to them?

And in the West, you can get a divorce whenever you want for any reason you want. You can get divorced just 'cause you don't like your spouse anymore. So what's the point of saying "If you get a second wife, we're getting divorced"??

[nooni]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

A contract ensures a woman can keep her rights as well as prevent either party from being taken advantage of.

i think alot of ppl feel that if its her rights before marriage, then its her right after marriage too....so then whats the point of a contract? ..... and i agree with this statement to some extent..

also many ppl have contracts because their parents made them do one... the parents want to make sure that things will be ok and how can u blame them for doing so...

[AceOfHearts]

If you are marrying a traditional practicing man, it makes a lot of sense to stipulate you want to be his only wife (if that is what you really want) in the 'contract'.

I have heard of many cases of where Muslim women had to go through a lot of pain because their husband wanted to marry more wives later on.

Also, if you dont want to wear niqab, you might want to state that he cannot force you to wear it later on. Again, I have heard of many cases where the wife is forced to wear niqab though she never wore it before.

Even when one is not of the tradition following type, it may make sense to put it down anyway since people can change as their inclination to religion changes, which usally means inclination to tradition.