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02-12-2009, 02:51 PM
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Marriage without a wali.
As-Salamu Alaykum,
Is it possible to get married without a wali, im not a muslim but the man i want to marry is. My family is mainly women (mother and sister) i do not have any males that i am close with. Also is it discouraged to get married without the family knowing, the reason for this is that we want to have a halal relationship, but my family want me to put education first instead of marriage (they do not want me to be distracted) Thank you. 
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02-13-2009, 01:05 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
Assalam Alaykum,
Firstly, I would'nt advise you get to ask for help on this or any other public Islamic forum. The reason is that you need someone who is well versed in the religion and/or a Scholar to give you advise on something like the above situation. Is it possible for you to contact an Islamic Scholar somehow? Maybe the Imam of the mosque in your area? There are Scholars who you can get their details online or e-mail them. Well, technically a Man does not need a Wali to get married, but a Woman does. I'm not sure how the rule changes when it is someone who is a Non-Muslim from the Ahl Kitab [Jews/Christains], but I have a feeling she too would require a Wali considering the fact that regardless if its a Muslim Woman or someone from the People of the Book, the Man needs to give her her mahr.
__________________
The Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam said, “There is no Muslim who forsakes a Muslim in a situation where his reputation and honor are violated except that Allah will forsake him in a situation where he would want His help, and there is no Muslim who helps a Muslim in a situation where his reputation and honor are being violated except that Allah will help him in a situation where he would want His help.” [Abu Dawud] Free Muslim Prisoners.
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02-13-2009, 03:14 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
Asalamu Alaikum,
You can check out this link given below, which gives a general outline. But like Bluey said, for your unique situation you need to get a hold of someone who has strong authority in such matters and will be able to guide you according to your specific needs. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding someone. Islamtoday.Com - Marriage with Christian or Jewish woman And Allah(swt) knows best. Fi AmanAllah
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My God and my Lord; Eyes are at rest, the stars are setting. Hushed are the movements of the birds in their nests, of monsters in the sea; and You are the Just Who knows no change; the Equity that does not swerve, the Everlasting that never passes away. The doors of kings are locked now and guarded by their henchmen, but Your door is open to all who call upon You. My Lord, each loved is now alone with his beloved. And I am alone with Thee. -- Rabi'a al-Adawiyya
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YOUSUFofSD (02-13-2009) | ||
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02-13-2009, 06:02 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
assalamu alaykum
You're not Muslim so I'm wondering whether Islamic law would even apply to you?  In the hanafi madhab a woman doesn't need a wali. In fact, a proposal and acceptance of it infront of two, sane, Muslim males is valid.
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"Until you annihilate your selfish lower self of desires and lusts through strict and sincere mujahada [self disciplinary exercises], your heart will never become illuminated with the light of knowledge." - Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazli, Dear Beloved Son. Help the GUANTANAMO BAY detainees
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02-13-2009, 08:42 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
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I'm not qualified to answer your question but I have to tell you...before you marry a muslim man....Make sure his family (mother especially) knows about you and knows of your intention to marry. I have heard many horror stories where the muslim husband never tells his family he married outside of the religion...and the poor girl gets horrible treatment because of it. ...So just make sure you cover all your bases and get the family involved before you make a huge commitement....Becasue in Islam...its not just a marriage of two people its a marriage of familes 
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"If you seek happiness for yourself youll never find it, Only when you seek happiness for others will it come to you"
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afrakabob  (02-13-2009) | ||
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02-13-2009, 09:41 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
ya'll got issuessss....... what are you gonna do if he knocks you up? "Oh mom, I'm just getting fat"? And then what if he leaves you?
Just kidding. Muslim men don't do that, right?
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Never do I argue with a man with a desire to hear him say what is wrong, or to expose him and win victory over him. Whenever I face an opponent in debate I silently pray - O Lord, help him so that truth may flow from his heart and on his tongue, and so that if truth is on my side, he may follow me; and if truth be on his side, I may follow him. (Imam Al-Shafi'i)
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ChotooMotoo    (02-13-2009), MrZ (02-13-2009) | ||
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02-13-2009, 10:19 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
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:motoo: SuperGeek SuperGeek this girls a SuperGeek.....
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02-13-2009, 10:46 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
And whatever happens don't forget the bicycle made for two
 
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  “ Don’t judge the truth by people. First find the truth, then you will recognize its people.” - Imam Ali, If you sift through all the non-serious posts of mine you'll eventually find a jewel that you can treasure and remember with a fondness that will last generations
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mekrob (02-13-2009) | ||
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02-13-2009, 12:36 PM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
what some of hte people above said.
having a secret marriage is going to hurt you... make sure the boy's family is well aware that he's marrying you. its common for the boy to 'play around' and then when mummy finds a serious contender for a daughter in law, you're left in the lurch. In either case - whether his family knows or not - make sure you get a civil contract done as well, by the government authorities. Many times, this will be your only protection, so do not compromise on this. Unless of course, he decides to run away and go back to his home country...
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Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested with affliction? Lo! We tested those who were before you. Thus Allah knoweth those who are sincere, and knoweth those who are pretenders. (Al Ankabut 29:2-3)
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02-13-2009, 08:18 PM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
He probably just wants to get in your pants.
__________________
"Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and
being true to Him. And in it there is an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness." -Ibn al-Qayyim al-Jawziyya (rahimahullah)
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02-13-2009, 09:26 PM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
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02-14-2009, 07:49 AM
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Re: Marriage without a wali.
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