[AM415]

Credit goes to Salika for finding this joke:


A very beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she suddenly trips over on something and falls. On her way falling down, an American man catches her, she says: " oh thank you, you have saved my life i'll do anything for you.." the man says: okay then sleep with me, so she says: "You pig!! never!!" so the man says okay and he drops her,, so she is falling and screaming ,, and so a german man catches her this time,, so she tells him " oh thank you,, you have saved my life , i 'll do anything for you.." the man says : okay sleep with me..she says : "You pig !! never !!" he says fine and he drops her again..so she is falling and thinking that it would have been better if she slept with one of the guys instead of dying... so a muslim man catches her from his balcony .. she says : "oh thank you!! u saved my life!! i will sleep with you!!" The muslim man replies: ASTAQfirullah and drops her...

[heba]

what kind of bees make milk, not honey?

(pm me if you want the answer to this fabuloso joke)

[Jamroll]

Originally Posted by AM415

Credit goes to Salika for finding this joke:


A very beautiful woman was walking on the roof of a building and she suddenly trips over on something and falls. On her way falling down, an American man catches her, she says: " oh thank you, you have saved my life i'll do anything for you.." the man says: okay then sleep with me, so she says: "You pig!! never!!" so the man says okay and he drops her,, so she is falling and screaming ,, and so a german man catches her this time,, so she tells him " oh thank you,, you have saved my life , i 'll do anything for you.." the man says : okay sleep with me..she says : "You pig !! never !!" he says fine and he drops her again..so she is falling and thinking that it would have been better if she slept with one of the guys instead of dying... so a muslim man catches her from his balcony .. she says : "oh thank you!! u saved my life!! i will sleep with you!!" The muslim man replies: ASTAQfirullah and drops her...

LOL! That's a good one. I've been telling people that one all weekend.




Okay I got one:


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad with him.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[IbnMardhiyah]

*dies laughing*


AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

[Wolfn]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

LOL! That's a good one. I've been telling people that one all weekend.




Okay I got one:


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad with him.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

lol very hard!

[socceroni67]

Originally Posted by AM415

So a speaker's talking at an all-blond convention. "I'm going to disprove the Dumb Blonde theory today" he said. With that he grabbed a random blonde from the audience and asked her "whats 32+21?" The blonde said "44?" and the speaker said..no. To this, the audience replied "give her another chance!" so he said "Fine, whats 14+10." "20?" "no," said the speaker. The audience yelled out "Give her another chance!" So the speaker decided to ask her one more question. "ok then, whats 2+2?" The blond thought long and hard and said "I dont know...um...4?" To which the auidence replied "Give her another chance"

wtf?
i don't get it

[Wolfn]

Originally Posted by socceroni67

wtf?
i don't get it

Because you're a blond too. (You just got served!)





It starts to rain very hard, and a flood forms. A man goes to the roof of his house. After awhile, a boat comes and a man in the boat says "we've come to rescue you". The man replies "God will save me". The boat leaves. Another boat comes. The man in the boat says "we've come to help you", and the man replies "No thanks, God will save me". The boat leaves. One more boat comes, and the man in the boat says "the water is getting higher, let us help you", and the man replies "God will save me". The boat leaves

A little while later, the water rises and the man drowns. When he gets to heaven, he sees God and he asks "What happened? I waited, but you never saved me".

God replies "I sent you three boats, what more did you want?"

[TrentReznor858]

Originally Posted by heba

i hate you

Wow the Hebs I knew wouldnt take that from anyone. Getting soft huh

[heba]

Originally Posted by TrentReznor858

Wow the Hebs I knew wouldnt take that from anyone. Getting soft huh

awww heeellllll nawwwwww lol

[IbnMardhiyah]

From an email forward:

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.'

'After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

************************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone .
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[nooni]

^ LOL that was great !!

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Okay I got one:


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad with him.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA looool

[socceroni67]

Originally Posted by Wolfn

Because you're a blond too. (You just got served!)





It starts to rain very hard, and a flood forms. A man goes to the roof of his house. After awhile, a boat comes and a man in the boat says "we've come to rescue you". The man replies "God will save me". The boat leaves. Another boat comes. The man in the boat says "we've come to help you", and the man replies "No thanks, God will save me". The boat leaves. One more boat comes, and the man in the boat says "the water is getting higher, let us help you", and the man replies "God will save me". The boat leaves

A little while later, the water rises and the man drowns. When he gets to heaven, he sees God and he asks "What happened? I waited, but you never saved me".

God replies "I sent you three boats, what more did you want?"

wtf?
i don't get it

1. i'm a guy
2.my hair is black
3.you suck
4.jk about #4
5.bbbyyyyeee!!!!!!

[AM415]

Originally Posted by socceroni67

wtf?
i don't get it

1. i'm a guy
2.my hair is black
3.you suck
4.jk about #4
5.bbbyyyyeee!!!!!!

You're blonde at heart.

[Wolfn]

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passed through a severe storm. Things went from bad to worse when the plane got hit by lightning and started going down.

One woman jumped up and screamed "I'm too young to die! But I want my last moments to be memorable. Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a real woman"?

No one said anything. After awhile, a handsome man stood up and started walking towards her. The woman started breathing heavily. As the man approached, he started unbuttoning his shirt. He slowly removed it.

He walked up to her and whispered...



























"Iron this"