[kerrigwen]

Salaam everyone =)

I have a friend, she's an Egyptian Christian by birth but accepted Islam a few years back, and lives in Kenya now with her Muslim husband.

She's just found out that she's six weeks in, and her husband is going away on a trip and she hasn't told him yet (not for any particular reason, she just hasn't) and she's feeling a bit unsure/worried/ "I wanted this, but I didn't want this to happen so soon/don't want it now" etc. -

I was wondering if we could collectively collect a few verses/hadeeth that might cheer her up? She's a very dear friend and I hate to see her being genuinely irratable/upset over such an honour and blessing.

Jazakallah for any contributions/advice. =)

[Aryan_]

Abortion is haram.

[nooni]

Theres a hadith thread in the religion forum, im sure you will find a lot of good ones there

[Jamroll]

Salam kerrigwen,

How do you mean she is unsure? Like whether to keep it or not? I know this is not entirely answering yor question, but it is very important that she know that abortion is not allowed unless there are exceptional circumstances, and "too soon" is not one of them.

Really, I think it's best to talk to her about Allah's qadr and acceptance of it. Like you rightly said, babies are a blessing. They are a joy, an opportunity for women to take part in Allah's creation of life process. Also, we think we can plan for major things in life like babies, but really we can't. Take the example of a couple who try and try to get pregnant, but no matter what they try, it wasn't in their kismet for a baby to happen. Likewise, a couple where the women takes the Pill, and the man uses contraception also, and still the woman falls pregnant. Plans are not foolproof, they are not certain. Yes, we have to work and plan to the best of our abilities, but sometimes things happen despite our best laid plans. When that happens we have to accept whatever happens, good or bad, and say alhamdulillah and count our blessings.

Also, it may be worth talking to her about exactly what is worrying her. Is she worried about the financial implications, about the relationship between her and her husband, etc? It may be helpful for her to talk these things through with a friend, like yourself, and maybe once the things she's worried about resolve, she will be able to see this pregnancy in a different light.

Anyway, all the best, inshallah.

[ChotooMotoo]

I was in the same situation a while back, and I have some idea what she's feeling. I hope she has a better outcome that what I had, but alhamdulillah whatever Allah (swt) chooses is always the best. Allah (swt) is the best of planners.

She's not contemplating abortion. She's unsure what to do, how to proceed, how she's supposed to feel, should she carry on by herself or should she try to follow her husband where he is. For me, my husband didn't want me to follow him. He much prefered me to stay close to my family, and all things familiar than to join him. He was right. It turned out to be a real blessing that I stayed behind.

Tell her that this is a blessing from Allah (swt) and that all her fears, confusions, these are all normal. She's not gone crazy in the least. All those pregnancy hormones aren't helping either. She should certainly tell him as soon as possible. If things don't go as planned, she needs his emotional support (even if he can't be physically present for her), and if inshallah things go well, it will bring them even closer together. Zakk posted a lot of excellent merits of pregnancy a while back, but I can't remember which thread she posted in. You can search sunnipath or any other place, they have lots of dua's.

Alhamdulillah, whatever the outcome, it's a blessing from Allah (swt) and she should comfort herself that Allah (swt) will ease her burden and give her strength for anything.

[zakk]

THE VIRTUES OF PREGNANCY

· When a woman is pregnant with a child, all the angels will make Istighfar (repentance) on her behalf. Allah SWT will, for each day of her pregnancy, write for her 1000 good deeds and erase from her 1000 bad deeds.

· When a pregnant woman starts to feel the pain from contractions, Allah SWT will write in her records as someone who is doing jihad (spiritual or physical struggle) in His path.

· When a woman becomes pregnant by her husband and he is pleased with her, she obtains the reward of a person engaging in fasting for Allah SWT and a person spending the night in ibaadah (worship).

· A woman from the time of pregnancy until childbirth and weaning the baby, is like the Mujahid (someone fighting in the path of Allah, swa) who is stationed on the frontiers of the Islamic land. If she dies during this period, she dies the death of a shahid (martyr).





· Two raka'at salaat performed by a pregnant woman is better than 80 raka'at salaat performed by a non-pregnant woman.

· A woman who is pregnant gets the reward of fasting during the day and of doing ibaadah (worship) during the nights.

· A woman who gives birth gets the reward of 70 years of salaat (prayer) and fasting. For each vein that feels pain, Allah SWT gives her the reward of one accepted hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).

· If the woman dies within 40 days of giving birth, she will die as a shahid (matyr).

(Hadith)......."A woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr"

Nabi(salalaallahu alayhi wassallam) is reported to have also said ".......When her labour pains commence, the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child, then she will be granted a reword for every gulp of milk, if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of the child, she will receive the reword of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah Ta'ala. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, with a delicate nature yet obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them"

[kerrigwen]

Jazakallah everyone for the advice and input; Chotoo - yep, you've got the right idea (I don't think she'd ever actually go through with an abortion, though I guess it might cross her mind).

And Zakk too, for the hadith =) Do you know if they're authentic? I'm looking elsewhere too, but it's kind of tricky finding ones that don't turn out to be fabricated or exaggerated Shia/Sufi "hadith".

She's told her husband by the way, and of course he's "over the moon". I'm glad, at least he'll be aware and considerate. I feel bad sort of, I don't know if she has any close Muslim friends there. I wish I could visit her. =\