The In Laws thread

[Variable]

And watch out that they're in it for the long haul... what is it like 75% of converts convert back out?

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by Variable

And watch out that they're in it for the long haul... what is it like 75% of converts convert back out?

really?

[Variable]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

really?

I dunno, it was an Al Jazeerah thing I saw the other day.

[TrentReznor858]

Originally Posted by Variable

I dunno, it was an Al Jazeerah thing I saw the other day.

That has to do with the way converts are treated in the community.

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by TrentReznor858

That has to do with the way converts are treated in the community.

Possibly... I wouldnt be surprised.

Our masjid back in Springfield was never that ethnically segregated but lately the arabs and desis have not been as social with each other. That leaves the converts (black, white and hispanic) and malaysians/indonesians standing around feeling awkward...nobody wants to talk to them. We had a baby shower for this Indonesian lady (who is married to a white convert.. mA for interracial marriages ). It was open to the community but hardly anyone showed up. It was basically all the converts in the community plus about 3 arabs and maybe 1 desi who showed up. It's sickening.

My mom is in the same boat and hardly ever talks to anybody anymore b/c they are so exclusive with their groups. On more than one occasion she has felt like she was snubbed by the desis and the arabs always talk in arabic (despite knowing english) so even I dont feel comfortable sitting with them (one of my best friends in Spfld is Arab and would always invite me to picnics but then they'd all talk in arabic so after like 5 or 6 times i stopped going).

I know one white British lady in our community who stopped coming years ago and just recently (like last week) left her husband b/c she is just so sick of the community and its ridiculous racial politics. I think it turned her off to Islam altogether.

[Variable]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

Possibly... I wouldnt be surprised.

Our masjid back in Springfield was never that ethnically segregated but lately the arabs and desis have not been as social with each other. That leaves the converts (black, white and hispanic) and malaysians/indonesians standing around feeling awkward...nobody wants to talk to them. We had a baby shower for this Indonesian lady (who is married to a white convert.. mA for interracial marriages ).

Actually he mentioned that convert divorcees and their children made up one of the biggest groups of those who left (women though)

anyhoo... back to topic... maybe it's because they were living with their inlaws! baddum ching

[thejellymill]

the lady i know wasnt living with her inlaws. What did they mean by women? tons of surveys and studies have shown that the largest group leaving Islam are men (they often cite the status of women in Islam) and the largest group entering are women (for the same reason the men are leaving, subhanallah)...

[Variable]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

the lady i know wasnt living with her inlaws. What did they mean by women? tons of surveys and studies have shown that the largest group leaving Islam are men (they often cite the status of women in Islam) and the largest group entering are women (for the same reason the men are leaving, subhanallah)...

Um, yeh, the largest group was male ex-convicts, and the next were female divorcees with their kids forming the next largest group. and I can't remember after that.

[sumiyia]

i think we're done with this topic...

[ShahRukh]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

i think we're done with this topic...

Im gonna have to disagree with you there....we're not done with this topic yet. I think we certainly need more hypothetical scenarios to contemplate on...

[msmoorad]

Originally Posted by Salika

She doesn't have a right to have her own home. To be more accurate, she has a right to her own living quarters that includes a bedroom, living area and kitchen. In this day and age, that seems to necessitate a house but if you can find a way where she's totally comfortable and still be close to the parents, that's probably the best bet. It's also a child's duty to take care of the parents. Sometimes you have to be creative...

salaams to all

very good reply.

jazakallah

[Revert]

Originally Posted by Nabisco007

for real?? I never saw it the other way around where the guy lives with the girl's parents.I what everyone said about newly married couples is right. I mean it'll take some tme to get comfortable with the person and with the added in laws it'll probably be even more stressful.

YEah its pretty stressful, howeevr I get the impression that they don't want us to move out and they want us to buy a Mother/Daughter house.

That will never happen as their Son lives with Us too and he earns a LOT more than I do. However if my Father in Law ends up quitting his job (health reasons) then we will have to help out, which I don't mind doing as its my duty as a Muslim.

Their culture is the same as Desi/Arab culture where the son and his wife live with the parents and such. However being as their son is unmarried they put that baggage on us.

[Sugarberry]

Originally Posted by shadha

That's what I don't understand about the Desi culture. They don't like something yet they continue with it, generation after generation. It's like the mentality of, if I had to so will you.


shadha-

yeah i dont get that either,,but whatever floats their boat...or doesent.

[LEGALEAGLE]

Originally Posted by ShahRukh

Im gonna have to disagree with you there....we're not done with this topic yet. I think we certainly need more hypothetical scenarios to contemplate on...

HAHAHAHAHAHA....funny git !

[Variable]

Originally Posted by Revert

Their culture is the same as Desi/Arab culture where the son and his wife live with the parents and such. However being as their son is unmarried they put that baggage on us.

That sounds about like the least equitable course of action I've ever heard of... how does that make sense at all?