The In Laws thread

[nooni]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

funniest hijab story was when i needed a glass of water in the middle of the night. i couldnt find a hijab or anything so i took the huge comforter and wrapped myself like a burrito... i ran into my brother in law in the kitchen. haha

me: salaam, how are you? *pretends like everything is normal*
him: wsalaam.. i'm good.. you?
me: good.. *drinks water and starts heading back*
him: .... is that a blanket?
me: why yes.. yes it is.. good night..

Originally Posted by oFoShOuKnO

Actually the right of your parents trumps that of your wife.

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23,24)

I plan on staying with my parents after marriage insh'Allah. It makes sense in an Islamic sense as well as a financial sense.

I don't give a damn what my wife says.

serious question: your still like 17 or something right?

anywhos, i dont think its right to say that it makes sense islamically cause your making it seem as if those who dont want to do it are committing haram when they are not.

[sumiyia]

question for the boys who want to live with their parents after they are married... do you also believe that the husband is the breadwinner? if so, how do you plan on taking care of your parents by living with them when you are technically out of the house 8am-6pm, and are sleeping from 11pm to 6am? if your answer is that you are supporting them financially, couldn't you do the same while living in your own apartment separate from your parents?

[nooni]

sumi - i demand that you stay at home barefoot and pregnant because your intellectual questions will only make the world a worse place.



ps. preferably in the basement

[onetspvanilla]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

question for the boys who want to live with their parents after they are married... do you also believe that the husband is the breadwinner? if so, how do you plan on taking care of your parents by living with them when you are technically out of the house 8am-6pm, and are sleeping from 11pm to 6am? if your answer is that you are supporting them financially, couldn't you do the same while living in your own apartment separate from your parents?

good question.
though i think what you'll mostly hear is the "that's why my wife is at home with them while i'm at work"

[sumiyia]

lol... gotta spread nooni..

[Variable]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

Please go way back and read this post.

Thanks.

So it's because they want to see their first grandchild a lot, and get to know their daughter inlaw?

I guess the first thing I'd wonder is why they couldn't see their grandchild all the time anyway, they don't have to live together. And my second thought was - they might get to know their daughter inlaw; though the side of her they might see isn't the one they'd want to after enough awkward encounters.

Isn't it also a little unfair to the parents of the girl? What if her parents want to live with the grand kid etc.?

I realize these are my own opinions coming completely from outside of Desi culture, but isn't it something Desi's think about too?

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by Variable

So it's because they want to see their first grandchild a lot, and get to know their daughter inlaw?

I guess the first thing I'd wonder is why they couldn't see their grandchild all the time anyway, they don't have to live together. And my second thought was - they might get to know their daughter inlaw; though the side of her they might see isn't the one they'd want to after enough awkward encounters.

Isn't it also a little unfair to the parents of the girl? What if her parents want to live with the grand kid etc.?

I realize these are my own opinions coming completely from outside of Desi culture, but isn't it something Desi's think about too?

it's something desi girls may think about, but then they'd be labeled feminazis and such..

[IbnMardhiyah]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

question for the boys who want to live with their parents after they are married... do you also believe that the husband is the breadwinner? if so, how do you plan on taking care of your parents by living with them when you are technically out of the house 8am-6pm, and are sleeping from 11pm to 6am? if your answer is that you are supporting them financially, couldn't you do the same while living in your own apartment separate from your parents?

If in case you're talking to me, please note for the record I never said I want to live with my parents, I'd do it only if my wife herself wanted to or said she didn't mind.

As for your question, for myself specifically - it would be similar to the status quo now. I'm outta the house for work and unavailable when I'm sleeping, but that doesn't matter, since I'd be in a totally separate unit. Furthermore, you and I have already talked about how I hate the 9-to-5 grind, so running my own business means I'd be able to allocate more time for wife and family and personal pursuits.

[sumiyia]

Originally Posted by IbnMardhiyah

If in case you're talking to me, please note for the record I never said I want to live with my parents, I'd do it only if my wife herself wanted to or said she didn't mind.

As for your question, for myself specifically - it would be similar to the status quo now. I'm outta the house for work and unavailable when I'm sleeping, but that doesn't matter, since I'd be in a totally separate unit. Furthermore, you and I have already talked about how I hate the 9-to-5 grind, so running my own business means I'd be able to allocate more time for wife and family and personal pursuits.

it was an open question... the business thing sounds cool...

[amal512]

Originally Posted by infamousbrown

Another issue is to use common areas of the house the wife would have to be hijabbed up. That'd suck for her.

wow.. we agree on something! yay! it did suck having to wear hijaab just to go get a glass a water..

[amal512]

Originally Posted by sumiyia

question for the boys who want to live with their parents after they are married... do you also believe that the husband is the breadwinner? if so, how do you plan on taking care of your parents by living with them when you are technically out of the house 8am-6pm, and are sleeping from 11pm to 6am? if your answer is that you are supporting them financially, couldn't you do the same while living in your own apartment separate from your parents?

i love my devrani..

[heba]

this is one of my biggest issuing with every marrying a desi...i know like 95% of desi guys want to live with their parents and there is absolutely NO WAY i would do it. i wouldnt even consider it and if everything else was perfect, id break off a relationship because of this.

[LEGALEAGLE]

Hmm...I don't think its just about marriage jellymill I think desi's don't really have a concept of personal space...

It used to drive me nuts when I was in Pakistan asleep and heck people just used to walk right on in to my bedroom.

I kind of lost it at one point and they figured I was a crazy valaiti...

[Nabisco007]

Just wondering...are father in-laws considered mahram?

[Spice]

Originally Posted by LEGALEAGLE

Hmm...I don't think its just about marriage jellymill I think desi's don't really have a concept of personal space...

It used to drive me nuts when I was in Pakistan asleep and heck people just used to walk right on in to my bedroom.

I kind of lost it at one point and they figured I was a crazy valaiti...

Dude, thats like a thing for them. I was visiting last summer and while I would be napping or sleeping and they would walk right into my room to 'meet' me... and id frantically jump the hell out of bed and compose myself and reach for the dupatta. There was no warning or anything. I didnt sleep for more than 5 hours straight for the first 3 days. and then my mamoo decided to lay down the law and sat everyone down to explain to them that: when (insert first name) is sleeping, LEAVE HER SLEEPING.

I didnt ask them myself though, I figured Id come off as a stuck up valaiti larki/sleeping beauty type. So I would just get up, compose and say hello.

Alhamdulilah for my mamoo, alhamdulilah.