[HijabiAblazin]

Originally Posted by zakk

It really bugs me when people start assigning values to different types of labor..... no drugs is "good", caesarean is "bad"...... THE ONLY THING THAT IS IMPORTANT IS THE BABY'S HEALTH AND YOUR OWN COMFORT. You don't get an award for having a vaginal, drug-free birth.

I think the judgment is none of people's business. HOWEVER, Allah created our bodies to give birth, and it is an unfortunate thing in American society (NOT in European societies) that childbirth has been so medicalized that it's anything but normal.

You are not going to get an "award" for having a vaginal, drug-free birth, but women who have less interventions have been shown to be happier and have a higher opinion of themselves after the birth than women who have more interventions. Why should women be humiliated? They should be rewarded with pleasant memories of one of the most significant moments of their lives. The arrival of one's child should be joyous.

If you talk to women who've had horrible, difficult births, caused mostly by unhelpful medical staff doing unnecessary interventions, you will find that, indeed, there is more to birth than everyone surviving. A woman who's been emotionally traumatized and had her rights over her body taken away from her, does not emerge as a proud mother in the same way that a woman whose natural responses are honored does. A woman who is put in an awkward position until forceps and vaccuums are used, and her private parts are cut and scarred, does not recover in the same way; often these women have months or years of pain, especially during intimate moments. Is that fair to her? Is it fair that the doctor's schedule is so often a factor in the baby's time of birth, rather than the time that the baby would be ready to come out?

I recommend the book "Born in the USA: How a broken maternity system must be fixed to put mothers and children first" by Marsden Wagner.

[lol_lol]

Originally Posted by HijabiAblazin

I think the judgment is none of people's business. HOWEVER, Allah created our bodies to give birth, and it is an unfortunate thing in American society (NOT in European societies) that childbirth has been so medicalized that it's anything but normal.

You are not going to get an "award" for having a vaginal, drug-free birth, but women who have less interventions have been shown to be happier and have a higher opinion of themselves after the birth than women who have more interventions. Why should women be humiliated? They should be rewarded with pleasant memories of one of the most significant moments of their lives. The arrival of one's child should be joyous.

If you talk to women who've had horrible, difficult births, caused mostly by unhelpful medical staff doing unnecessary interventions, you will find that, indeed, there is more to birth than everyone surviving. A woman who's been emotionally traumatized and had her rights over her body taken away from her, does not emerge as a proud mother in the same way that a woman whose natural responses are honored does. A woman who is put in an awkward position until forceps and vaccuums are used, and her private parts are cut and scarred, does not recover in the same way; often these women have months or years of pain, especially during intimate moments. Is that fair to her? Is it fair that the doctor's schedule is so often a factor in the baby's time of birth, rather than the time that the baby would be ready to come out?

I recommend the book "Born in the USA: How a broken maternity system must be fixed to put mothers and children first" by Marsden Wagner.

shut up.

[shadha]

zzze: I think pregnancy bumps are so cute on 'average' weight people so so cute.

Lol agreed.

Instead of arguing whether it's oki for one to be too thin or too thick, just schedule an appointment with your doctor and see exactly where you stand. You can be thin and healthy or you can be chunky and healthy. It's best to talk to YOUR doctor about YOUR body and YOUR baby. When it comes to pregnancy, it's different for everyone.


shadha-

[Bluestar]

yup, as long as you're not poor

[shadha]

Yup that's the spirit.


shadha-

[Ilikemyscarf]

I'm gonna be one cute ass preggo. I don't care what ya'll say! InshAllah mashAllah.

[LEGALEAGLE]

Speaking as a bloke and being totally unsensitive but honest...so long as I don't have to
be in the same room at the time...it's up to the woman whether she's high as a kite or not

[Bluestar]

My flatmate gave birth in our living room and she didn't use any drugs. It was good, we watched a whole load of dvd's about learning how to embrace labour so you use your contractions to help push the baby rather than suppressing the pain and not being able to feel the contractions. That seemed to work for her. She had little snugglebug and I made us dhaal and chappattis after the birth. Everyone sat round and ate food right after she'd cleaned up.

That's how i want it to be if i ever have kids.

[lol_lol]

i can remeber at university, a couple of my friends where having an arugment about how men r pansys and cant handle pain and the guys where like whatever. then one of the girl said hmm have u ever experienced child birth... no you havnt, so try and push a mango out of ur nose and see if u could handle that. that made me laugh so im gonna say it here as i feel its appropriate.

so all the guys who say no to drugs... try to push a mango our of ur nostril then maybe u might reconsider the drugs.

[shadha]

lol_lol: so all the guys who say no to drugs...

I don't even understand why guys feel that they are qualified to comment against the use of medicine during labor. They will never experience labor, so what the hell are they talking about? The day they can experience labor is the day their opinions will amount to something. Till that magical day comes, they need not to criticize.


shadha-

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by shadha

lol_lol: so all the guys who say no to drugs...

I don't even understand why guys feel that they are qualified to comment against the use of medicine during labor. They will never experience labor, so what the hell are they talking about? The day they can experience labor is the day their opinions will amount to something. Till that magical day comes, they need not to criticize.


shadha-

I agree.

A lot of women aren't qualified to comment on labour and all that it comes with either.
Simply because they haven't experienced it.

[Azamnoor]

hmmm eating babies while skinny, maybe then I'll gain some more weight...

errr

[YOUSUFofSD]

Originally Posted by Bluestar

My flatmate gave birth in our living room and she didn't use any drugs. It was good, we watched a whole load of dvd's about learning how to embrace labour so you use your contractions to help push the baby rather than suppressing the pain and not being able to feel the contractions. That seemed to work for her. She had little snugglebug and I made us dhaal and chappattis after the birth. Everyone sat round and ate food right after she'd cleaned up.

That's how i want it to be if i ever have kids.

wow, mashallah, thats amazing. did i get this right, she had the baby in the living room, then you served food after she had cleaned up the mess afterwards?

[Azamnoor]

yeh that sounds bout right to what she said, glad it's clear =)

[zakk]

Originally Posted by HijabiAblazin

I think the judgment is none of people's business. HOWEVER, Allah created our bodies to give birth, and it is an unfortunate thing in American society (NOT in European societies) that childbirth has been so medicalized that it's anything but normal.

You are not going to get an "award" for having a vaginal, drug-free birth, but women who have less interventions have been shown to be happier and have a higher opinion of themselves after the birth than women who have more interventions. Why should women be humiliated? They should be rewarded with pleasant memories of one of the most significant moments of their lives. The arrival of one's child should be joyous.

If you talk to women who've had horrible, difficult births, caused mostly by unhelpful medical staff doing unnecessary interventions, you will find that, indeed, there is more to birth than everyone surviving. A woman who's been emotionally traumatized and had her rights over her body taken away from her, does not emerge as a proud mother in the same way that a woman whose natural responses are honored does. A woman who is put in an awkward position until forceps and vaccuums are used, and her private parts are cut and scarred, does not recover in the same way; often these women have months or years of pain, especially during intimate moments. Is that fair to her? Is it fair that the doctor's schedule is so often a factor in the baby's time of birth, rather than the time that the baby would be ready to come out?

I recommend the book "Born in the USA: How a broken maternity system must be fixed to put mothers and children first" by Marsden Wagner.

I don't think I was glorifying excessive medical intervention. And, actually, I have had one medically difficult birth. So please don't talk down to me about it. I would still go the medical route, because you know what? I wasn't traumatized - I knew I had done what I could and emerged with a healthy baby.

Often women are traumatized because they absolutely refuse to let go of the ideal birth. (Yes, there are cases where birth is scheduled, but it many more populated areas of the U.S. it is not usually the case - many places they won't even induce you unless there is a danger to the baby if the pregnancy is prolonged). Unfortunately there sometimes comes a time during delivery when the sum total of both decisions made by patient and staff AND unforseen complications will result in NECESSARY medical interventions. And the alternative to those interventions is fetal death or oxygen deprivation, so tell me, what is the natural alternative?

Also, it's very easy for a layman to look at an isolated procedure without following the progress of the delivery and other factors and deem it "unecessary". As it is also easy to demonize the medical profession by attempting to make it contrary to Allah's plan. Sure, epidurals weren't sent directly from heaven but surely we were given knowledge and technology in order to use it within reason.

In the end it's all about making an informed choice, and being in sync with your doctor or midwife about what you plan to do during birth. My most traumatic birth related event actually had to do with an over-zealous lactation "specialist" who made more attempts to undermine my rights over my body and my mental sanity than any "medical" staff.