[MossadConspiracy]

my mom worked, currently works, worked to help support the family, has a good job that she enjoys, and I think its been a great thing for her and our family. I'd prefer a housewife

ws

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by Revert

My mum is a kept lady...

Mine too - and so is my mother in law. Both of them are kind of bored now that there aren't kids at home. I actually think that this boredom is a big part of auntie drama in general .

I'm not planning on being a housewife and Mr. PhDGirl and I discussed it before we were married. I am in the midst of a career change (left a demanding career for academia, which is a different sort of demanding, but much more flexible time-wise) which hopefully should enable me to keep up my career after kids.

[Jamroll]

My mum's always worked from a young age, and still does now. Yes, part of it is financial reasons, but I think she really enjoys it aswell. I think the difficult, yet still admirable, thing for my mum's generation is that they've often been expected to work (like a modern Western woman) and still maintain all the upkeep of the house, children, family (like a traditional Asian woman).

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

My mum's always worked from a young age, and still does now. Yes, part of it is financial reasons, but I think she really enjoys it aswell. I think the difficult, yet still admirable, thing for my mum's generation is that they've often been expected to work (like a modern Western woman) and still maintain all the upkeep of the house, children, family (like a traditional Asian woman).

I actually don't think modern Western women are necessarily expected to work after kids (if their husbands can afford it). Many of my American friends stopped working after kids and there's a huge movement of mom's groups and such. I'm in a women's volunteer organization and a bunch of the other ladies don't work (regardless of kids) and spend their time doing volunteer work.

[Jamroll]

Originally Posted by PhDGirl

I actually don't think modern Western women are necessarily expected to work after kids (if their husbands can afford it). Many of my American friends stopped working after kids and there's a huge movement of mom's groups and such. I'm in a women's volunteer organization and a bunch of the other ladies don't work (regardless of kids) and spend their time doing volunteer work.

I agree with that. I think having a child is a huge burden on the mother, both physically and emotionally, and it's sad when women are pressured to return to work within a few weeks of giving birth. It's also been proven to be more beneficial for the baby to have the mother (or father, I guess) around especially in the first couple of years.

I think I'd like my wife to take some time out when she has the baby. Even though it might be a financial strain, it will be good for both mum and baby. If she wants to go back to work after the little one's a bit older then that's fine. Society seems to take everything in life and give it a financial value, and in that regard, mothers and/or housewives (or fathers and/or househusbands) are looked down upon or dismissed as "not contributing". We need to get our priorities straight as a society, and realise a lot of our societal problems are a direct result of not enough family time.

[DramaRani]

Questions:
so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?

Answers:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
N/A.


One of my aunts, by marriage, is a working mom. She's always worked. Not really out of necessity, but out of strong will and desire. She's had ayahs raise her kids until they were school age. In pursuit of more money, she uprooted her entire family. However, before doing that, she left her one kid with her parents for 7 months (in another state) and left my uncle and her other kid in another state. Anyway, my cousins are totally messed up now. No common sense, no courtesy, NO RELIGION, no respect... They are beyond belief spoiled. They ask for boo, and they'll get boo, boo, and boo in return. Whenever we call out my cousin's bad behavior, my uncle always says that he feels guilty for my cousin having to live with his grandparents and stuff.

Personally, I wouldn't mind working after children. I chose a flexible career path in life anyway, Alh. However, I would never put my job (or more money) above my family.

[Good_ol_JR]

Originally Posted by DramaRani

Questions:
so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?

Answers:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
N/A.


One of my aunts, by marriage, is a working mom. She's always worked. Not really out of necessity, but out of strong will and desire. She's had ayahs raise her kids until they were school age. In pursuit of more money, she uprooted her entire family. However, before doing that, she left her one kid with her parents for 7 months (in another state) and left my uncle and her other kid in another state. Anyway, my cousins are totally messed up now. No common sense, no courtesy, NO RELIGION, no respect... They are beyond belief spoiled. They ask for boo, and they'll get boo, boo, and boo in return. Whenever we call out my cousin's bad behavior, my uncle always says that he feels guilty for my cousin having to live with his grandparents and stuff.

Personally, I wouldn't mind working after children. I chose a flexible career path in life anyway, Alh. However, I would never put my job (or more money) above my family.

I don't think that's a good comparision; most career oriened mothers are more than able to keep their kids local via assistance from daycare, babysitters, and friends. That above scenario rarely happens and I'm sure there are plenty of spoiled, non-religious Muslim children who had stay at home moms.

I posted this in the Love and Relationship forum, but that threads practically dead so I'm just going to post it again here:

I could understand being a housewife in a less developed country where you don't have access to modern appliances; but in developed countries where you can complete tasks in 1/3 of the time if took 200 years ago; I honestly can't say that housewives are throwing their weight around as much as they should be. People always point to the examples of the wives of Rasullah SAW in order to justify ONLY being a housewife; but they forget that was a rural society, which meant housework required A LOT more blood, sweat, and most important of all time than it does now.

Not even kidding, can you imagine how hard those women had to work to maintain the house; I doubt there was ever a day in which they did not break a sweat. Also our Nabi SAW used to help around the house as well. That being said I don't think it's too much to expect a woman to at least work part- time in today's society. Fact is it's just not healthy to spend so much time in the house w/ little to do. Taking care of the kids is great; but after they reach age 4, even that should have it's limits.

Studies show that kids who spent a little bit of time in daycare or summer camps prior to Kindergarten where usually able to socialize a lot better once they first started school. Makes perfect sense school; imagine a child who has been wrapped around his mother almost 24/7 from his birth date to age 5. Chances are he will cause a ruckus th first time he is separated from her every week day for 9 months. He might even cry because of homesickness during his first few days in KG and automatically become the class biatch who gets made fun of and picked on by the other more social kids.

I worked as a YMCA summer camp counselor with kids aged 5-11 and I saw it all the time, a very realistic scenario which slows the kids development when it comes to coming into his own. IMO, that is very irresponsible of the rents if they allow that to happen. My mother started working part-time since I was 4 and I never felt neglected simply by being away from her for a few hours.

[Aryan_]

Originally Posted by Good_ol_JR

I don't think that's a good comparision; most career oriened mothers are more than able to keep their kids local via assistance from daycare, babysitters, and friends. That above scenario rarely happens and I'm sure there are plenty of spoiled, non-religious Muslim children who had stay at home moms.

I posted this in the Love and Relationship forum, but that threads practically dead so I'm just going to post it again here:

I could understand being a housewife in a less developed country where you don't have access to modern appliances; but in developed countries where you can complete tasks in 1/3 of the time if took 200 years ago; I honestly can't say that housewives are throwing their weight around as much as they should be. People always point to the examples of the wives of Rasullah SAW in order to justify ONLY being a housewife; but they forget that was a rural society, which meant housework required A LOT more blood, sweat, and most important of all time than it does now.

Not even kidding, can you imagine how hard those women had to work to maintain the house; I doubt there was ever a day in which they did not break a sweat. Also our Nabi SAW used to help around the house as well. That being said I don't think it's too much to expect a woman to at least work part- time in today's society. Fact is it's just not healthy to spend so much time in the house w/ little to do. Taking care of the kids is great; but after they reach age 4, even that should have it's limits.

Studies show that kids who spent a little bit of time in daycare or summer camps prior to Kindergarten where usually able to socialize a lot better once they first started school. Makes perfect sense school; imagine a child who has been wrapped around his mother almost 24/7 from his birth date to age 5. Chances are he will cause a ruckus th first time he is separated from her every week day for 9 months. He might even cry because of homesickness during his first few days in KG and automatically become the class biatch who gets made fun of and picked on by the other more social kids.

I worked as a YMCA summer camp counselor with kids aged 5-11 and I saw it all the time, a very realistic scenario which slows the kids development when it comes to coming into his own. IMO, that is very irresponsible of the rents if they allow that to happen. My mother started working part-time since I was 4 and I never felt neglected simply by being away from her for a few hours.

Modern appliances are blasphemous innovations, the only appliance a housewife needs is her two hands.

If you think career women are so great you should become one.

[Pushpa]

Originally Posted by sally

so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?

and finally:

what are your plans? do you aim to mostly be a housewife or career oriented or both?
please no long essays.. or if you wanna write an essay just answer the questions briefly first and then write.

i'm just really curious about how this turns out. so i dont want to sift through essays because i may not be able to get a clear idea of your experience/desires

1) My mother is not a housewife.
2) She has never been one.
3) She has always been involved in a career.
4) She has always worked out of necessity, but she would not be happy staying at home either. She told me that if she did not have to work for money she would get involved in lots of voluntary work.

I used to think I wanted a glittering career. After finishing university and getting married, and working a couple of jobs, my priorities changed. I do still want to work, because I want to fulfil my potential, but a career is not the most important thing in the world to me. I am working full time at the moment, but that's mainly for financial reasons. ( If I found my dream job, that would be different). But now with the baby on the way I don't plan on working for at least a year after the baby's born. After that I would probably work part-time (and preferably freelance) until he/she / any other children who come along - start school.

[Waves]

Originally Posted by sally

so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?

and finally:

what are your plans? do you aim to mostly be a housewife or career oriented or both?

yes
yes
no
n/a

both

[Ameerah]

1) Yes.
2) No.
3) Yes, she worked a lot up until I was about 10 years old.
4) Necessity.

I would like to work. The career I wish to pursue will allow me to have a good balance between it and my family, insha Allah. The main reasons I want to work are that a) I don't fancy being financially dependent on anyone and b) no matter how much a guy earns, it's not easy buying a property and just plain old living in London, with all the living expenses here. And I don't want to move away, if I do, I'd like to have my own house here.

[Asvi]

Questions:
so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?
what are your plans? do you aim to mostly be a housewife or career oriented or both?

Answers:
yes
no
yes
necessity
If Allah wills i plan to be a housewife/career oriented.

[Affa]

I'm planning to go back to work inshAllah in Jan 2009. Which means my baby will be about 11 months then. I will put my baby in a nursery. Of course I would LOVE to not go work until my baby is about 3 yrs old but out of necessity I have to. Otherwise we'll go back to square 1 and this time we have one more mouth to feed.

Has any of the sisters/brothers here put there baby in nursery from a young age? My work hours are great...9-3.15pm and i have holidays every 6 weeks....which I guess isn't bad at all. Also, my baby will pick up on social skills because we dont have anymore toddlers in the family. I am trying to see all the advantages as well.

[Nabisco007]

Originally Posted by sally

so is your mother a housewife?
has she always been one?
has she been involved in a career at points during your lifetime?
did she ever work solely out of necessity (financial) or due to boredom?

and finally:

what are your plans? do you aim to mostly be a housewife or career oriented or both?
please no long essays.. or if you wanna write an essay just answer the questions briefly first and then write.

No
she's always been involved in a career
I think she worked out of both necessity and due to boredom

I aim to have a balanced life iA. I get bored sitting at home so I definately want to work.

[Daleko]

no
no
worked all her life
she loves her work and earns well

and finally:

I am going to work.