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12-07-2007, 06:58 PM
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Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Serious topic needs sincere advice.
How do you deal with family members that constantly do the Haraam?
Articles and general advice needed.
The live Islam through your actions doesn't work in this instance so what do you do?
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 07:03 PM
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Souljabi
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
I know how it feels. 
Ignore it and don't entertain it. Continue to live Islam through your actions, because you'll never know when the person is taking notice. Pray for them. Invite them to join you in Salah, Jummah, tag along to community events, family dinners...if they decline the invitations, don't become disparaged, keep trying.
Most of all, don't preach nor try to be forceful. They don't need to be preached to that their actions are Haram, for I'm sure they already know that but they are just too arrogant to not care. So you doing so will only create more resentment towards the 'Din. However, if they ask for your input, give it. Just don't be demeaning, self-righteous, or damn them to hell [I know you personally wouldn't but just saying it for all who, if any, read my post]. If anything, have compassion and be forgiving. Allah, swt, loves those who forgive. Try to understand the reasoning behind their behavior and provide positive alternatives.
Leave your favorite Islamic books around, read the Qur'an in front of them, pray in front of them, do the invites as I previously mentioned-- lead by example. I always found that sooner or later, people come back to the 'Din. So give him time and don't give up on him.
And remember, at the end of the day, it really is between the person and Allah, swt.
shadha-
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12-07-2007, 07:06 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadha
I know how it feels.
Ignore it and don't entertain it. Continue to live Islam through your actions, because you'll never know when the person is taking notice. Pray for them. Invite them to join you in Salah, Jummah, tag along to community events, family dinners...if they decline the invitations, don't become disparaged, keep trying.
Most of all, don't preach nor try to be forceful. They don't need to be preached to that their actions are Haram, for I'm sure they already know that but they are just too arrogant to not care. So you doing so will only create more resentment towards the 'Din.
Leave your favorite Islamic books around, read the Qur'an in front of them, pray in front of them, do the invites as I previously mentioned-- lead by example. I always found that sooner or later, people come back to the 'Din. So give him time and don't give up on him.
shadha- |
I appreciate the advice but in this case it seems that a little more is needed than this. MAy Allah reward you for it.
Its a specific act forbidden in the Quran and its ruining the peoples lives.
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 07:09 PM
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Souljabi
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Who lives? The immediate person involved or those who know him?
We are always affected by the actions taken by others, especially those within our family. It's hard, trust me, it's hard, humiliating, and difficult to understand the 'why' behind it all. Though, there really isn't much more that could be done.
Freewill is a blessing but for some, it could be a curse.
shadha-
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You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
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12-07-2007, 07:13 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadha
Who lives? The immediate person involved or those who know him?
We are always affected by the actions taken by others, especially those within our family. It's hard, trust me, it's hard, humiliating, and difficult to understand the 'why' behind it all. Though, there really isn't much more that could be done.
Freewill is a blessing but for some, it could be a curse.
shadha- |
The immediate people and ours...
Its gambling and its pretty bad...to the point that it affects mine and my wifes eemaan..its a hard situation and I pray others don't have to deal with it.
unfortunatly i'm not as active in this community as i was in my old town, i don't really know any practicing Muslims to talk to or go pray with. 
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 07:16 PM
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Souljabi
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Ah. I would first seek help outside of the religious realm. Gambling is a serious problem. There should be a gambling hotline for your area, if not a council.
shadha-
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You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
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12-07-2007, 07:17 PM
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ModRoll the Mergerator
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
They might have a gambling addiction? In that case, the first step is admitting they have a problem. Then they can seek help for their addiction.
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12-07-2007, 07:18 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadha
Ah. I would first seek help outside of the religious realm. Gambling is a serious problem. There should be a gambling hotline for your area, if not a council.
shadha- |
YOu obviously don't know Yugoslavians...very stubborn lol
They don't think they have a problem nor that its even Haraam to gamble..
I'll look into that hotline thing though..maybe they can give us advice inshaAllah.
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 07:19 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamroll
They might have a gambling addiction? In that case, the first step is admitting they have a problem. Then they can seek help for their addiction.
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I know that bro...thats the problem...they don't think they have one...
Duas and general good vibes are also more than welcome 
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 07:29 PM
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Souljabi
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Haha, no maybe not, but I know Germans and DAMN are them people stubborn. 
Do look into the hotline, it'll be the best thing for you all.
shadha-
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You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
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12-07-2007, 08:00 PM
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Budding bedouin.
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
asslamau alaykum
Cut the internet cable if it's through the net...?
duas your way insha Allah
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"Until you annihilate your selfish lower self of desires and lusts through strict and sincere mujahada [self disciplinary exercises], your heart will never become illuminated with the light of knowledge." - Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazli, Dear Beloved Son.
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12-07-2007, 09:40 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
Sounds like maybe an intervention is in order? I know that AA has counseling for people who suffer collaterally from alcohol abuse, maybe it's the same for the people Shadha is talking about - they'll have the best advice for you anyway.
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12-07-2007, 09:51 PM
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Girly Man
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
I don't have any advice but I'll make dua for you guys inshaAllah
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12-07-2007, 09:53 PM
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
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You're scared of mice and spiders, but oh-so-much greater is your fear that one day the two species will cross-breed to form an all-powerful race of mice-spiders, who will immobilize human beings in giant webs in order to steal cheese
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12-07-2007, 10:00 PM
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:: Maverick ::
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Re: Dealing with fmaily members that do the Haraam
How long have they been at the habit?
How many times have others tried to help them out of it?
What's been the biggest loss [quantifiable or not] that you know they've had?
How many others in their immediate social circle / close contacts also gamble?
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