[fatima]

omg! mashallah, congratulations laimuun

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by zakk

Sometimes if you have fertility issues, it can still be easier to conceive in your 20s and it can be very very difficult as you get older. So if you're really committed to having kids but do want to put it off, you might want to do some checks into your general reproductive health.

I've had some issues already. I'm scared to find out more.

[shadha]

laimuun: I've been thinking a lot about how to handle having a kid and finishing my education..

YAYYYY!!!! Congratulations!!!!!


shadha-

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Originally Posted by Laimuun

I've been thinking a lot about how to handle having a kid and finishing my education..

aww congrats!


may Allah bless you with a beautiful healthy baby

[sally]

Congratulations Laimuun. May Allah bless you and your spouse with a healthy child (or children..if they're twins/triplets )


BTW, i absolutely looove your avatar, mashaAllah. it should win the best avatar award. i'll go nominate you now.

[TariqBinSleepin]

Originally Posted by Laimuun

I don't want a stranger to 'raise' my child, so an unknown babysitter/nanny isn't an option either. I'd like a family member or at least a friend to take care of the baby while I finish up school, so we're still looking into our options.

My mom was a babysitter, she worked for a few Muslim sisters who ran their daycare in their houses, i'm sure if you look around u can find some muslim sister in your area who will take care of younger kids.

[Jamroll]

Just give the kids to your mum. It's a win-win situation.

[sally]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Just give the kids to your mum. It's a win-win situation.

Yeah, but a lot of our immigrant parents have been working for most of their lives..working hard trying to raise us and balance their careers so I think it's not too fair for us to expect them to take care of our kids when they finally get a chance to settle down and relax.

I mean, a few hours a week is fine, even good for elderly parents because babies lighten spirits and all, but any more than that is just not right to me. It's too much to expect.

[Jamroll]

Originally Posted by sally

Yeah, but a lot of our immigrant parents have been working for most of their lives..working hard trying to raise us and balance their careers so I think it's not too fair for us to expect them to take care of our kids when they finally get a chance to settle down and relax.

I mean, a few hours a week is fine, even good for elderly parents because babies lighten spirits and all, but any more than that is just not right to me. It's too much to expect.

Nonsense, that's what they're there for. They've got to earn their keep like the rest of us. Plus it helps them to keep mind and body sharp. Also, who're you gonna trust more - your mum or Mrs Chu?

[sally]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Nonsense, that's what they're there for. They've got to earn their keep like the rest of us. Plus it helps them to keep mind and body sharp. Also, who're you gonna trust more - your mum or Mrs Chu?

Obviously my own mother.. but young babies require a LOT of attention... it's not just changing their diaper every few hours. All I'm saying is that by the time, for example, I myself would have kids, my parents would really not have enough patience or strenght to put up with a newborn/toddler and I really don't expect them to.

Also if your parents are sick or something, you'd much rather they take care of their own self rather than watch over your child. It's also a matter of safety for both your parent and your child.

I'm sure that the case isn't the same for all parents, I'm just saying that I would really not expect mine to be able to take care of my youngins.

When kids reach the age of becoming self sufficient to some extent, then that's fine because they don't need someone to put them to sleep, take them to the bathroom, or stuff food in their mouth or be attended to every hour, don't need to have their crying deciphered by someone, etc

[Jamroll]

Originally Posted by sally

Obviously my own mother.. but young babies require a LOT of attention... it's not just changing their diaper every few hours. All I'm saying is that by the time, for example, I myself would have kids, my parents would really not have enough patience or strenght to put up with a newborn/toddler and I really don't expect them to.

Also if your parents are sick or something, you'd much rather they take care of their own self rather than watch over your child. It's also a matter of safety for both your parent and your child.

I'm sure that the case isn't the same for all parents, I'm just saying that I would really not expect mine to be able to take care of my youngins.

When kids reach the age of becoming self sufficient to some extent, then that's fine because they don't need someone to put them to sleep, take them to the bathroom, or stuff food in their mouth or be attended to every hour, don't need to have their crying deciphered by someone, etc

Hmm, yeah you make a good point. I was thinking more along the lines of if you wanted to go out in the evening kinda thing. But yeah on a daily basis, you'd need to organise something more convenient to everyone. It's tricky, isn't it.

Maybe you could give the money you'd give to daycare to your parents instead. Or give the kid to your mum for like the mornings and then in the afternoons she can drop them to some other place, like daycare or whatever.

[shadha]

Jamroll: Just give the kids to your mum. It's a win-win situation.

If I was a single mother, I may ask that of my mother only because I would have no other alternative. However, seeing as that's not the case, I don't feel that it would be right to burden my parents with raising their grandchild. Their diaper years are over. A few hours a week, sure, a weekend every few weeks, sure, but on a daily basis? No.


shadha-

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Originally Posted by sally

Obviously my own mother.. but young babies require a LOT of attention... it's not just changing their diaper every few hours. All I'm saying is that by the time, for example, I myself would have kids, my parents would really not have enough patience or strenght to put up with a newborn/toddler and I really don't expect them to.

Also if your parents are sick or something, you'd much rather they take care of their own self rather than watch over your child. It's also a matter of safety for both your parent and your child.

I'm sure that the case isn't the same for all parents, I'm just saying that I would really not expect mine to be able to take care of my youngins.

When kids reach the age of becoming self sufficient to some extent, then that's fine because they don't need someone to put them to sleep, take them to the bathroom, or stuff food in their mouth or be attended to every hour, don't need to have their crying deciphered by someone, etc

I completely agree, I think my mom has done enough child rearing to earn a break. Kids are wayy too much maintenance for me to feel comfortable leaving them with my mom all the time.. I'd feel guilty

[sally]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Hmm, yeah you make a good point. I was thinking more along the lines of if you wanted to go out in the evening kinda thing. But yeah on a daily basis, you'd need to organise something more convenient to everyone. It's tricky, isn't it.

Maybe you could give the money you'd give to daycare to your parents instead. Or give the kid to your mum for like the mornings and then in the afternoons she can drop them to some other place, like daycare or whatever.

The matter is far from a matter of finance. I'm sure that no ones parents here would agree to take money for watching their own grandchildren.

The issue is whether our parents will be mentally and physically equipped to handle a young child in their surroundings for hours upon hours at a time.

And yeah what you said could work for some people, but really I don't ever see it working for me. InshaAllah I won't have to ask anyone to watch over my kids