[Pushpa]

I'm talking about the kind that will rip your head off if you open your mouth, stomp around the house, slam things, and to all appearances has actually lost all power of rational thought or conversation. For. No. Good. Reason.

Creative answers please!

Ta.

[sixpakistan]

Depends on how intelligent the teen in question is, and whether they've got a good heart or are just scumbags.

[sally]

1) When the person is in a calm and collected mood, explain the Islamic stance on anger and make them aware of the Dua's etc that can be read in order to prevent anger from escalating when they're actually angry

2) The person may not have something concrete and worthwhile enough to channel their energy into. They need to be made aware that it's important to find something to do that makes them happy and passionate, like a hobby or interest. Often being stuck in a monotonous routine is detrimental to a teenagers' mental health.

3) Last but not least, give them the awesomely spectacular gift of a gym membership

[Pushpa]

Let's say it's a teen who's generally a good kid, well behaved, hardworking, gets good grades, but has had, since they were born, a raging volcano of a temper; as in, when they get mad it's like the full moon just came out and something turned into a hairy four-legged flesh-eating beast and it's like they don't know what they are doing or saying anymore. This person also does not like to be corrected IN ANYTHING, taking any attempt at guidance or teaching as a very personal criticism. To the extent that it is getting really wearing trying to find ways of telling them or showing them how to do things without igniting their very short fuse.

[sally]

A teen who's usually well behaved and brings home good grades is not necessarily a happy teen.

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Pushpa

Let's say it's a teen who's generally a good kid, well behaved, hardworking, gets good grades, but has had, since they were born, a raging volcano of a temper; as in, when they get mad it's like the full moon just came out and something turned into a hairy four-legged flesh-eating beast and it's like they don't know what they are doing or saying anymore. This person also does not like to be corrected IN ANYTHING, taking any attempt at guidance or teaching as a very personal criticism. To the extent that it is getting really wearing trying to find ways of telling them or showing them how to do things without igniting their very short fuse.

give him a copy of al-fathu rabbani by shaykh abdul qadir jilani. and imam ghazali (RA)'s revival of the religious sciences. try to change their diet. restrict sugar intake, minimize meat intake, try to take out red meat entirely, and cut off caffeine completely.

they might also do well in a madressa environment, from the description you gave.

if all else fails, violence is always an option!

[Pushpa]

Will check out the reading material sixpak - thanks for that. Might have to just leave it lying around somewhere strategically though and let the kid 'discover' it.

Hm, I don't think the parents would be up for a madrassah but maybe some other sort of structured extra-curricular activity would channel some of that energy. I'll have to have a think about that one.

And sally, I have been wondering whether there wasn't maybe something going on at school that we don't know about, maybe someone's giving them a hard time or something, or maybe schoolwork's getting stressful - it is an exam year so that could have something to do with it. The trouble is getting them to open up though - we're always told that 'everything's fine' and 'just leave me alone'.

I'm just

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Pushpa

Will check out the reading material sixpak - thanks for that. Might have to just leave it lying around somewhere strategically though and let the kid 'discover' it.

Hm, I don't think the parents would be up for a madrassah but maybe some other sort of structured extra-curricular activity would channel some of that energy. I'll have to have a think about that one.

And sally, I have been wondering whether there wasn't maybe something going on at school that we don't know about, maybe someone's giving them a hard time or something, or maybe schoolwork's getting stressful - it is an exam year so that could have something to do with it. The trouble is getting them to open up though - we're always told that 'everything's fine' and 'just leave me alone'.

I'm just

if you want a good way to channel that energy in a single extracurricular activity, take him to a boxing gym where the trainer is either old or muslim or both. there should be loads of them in your area.

[shsh]

Originally Posted by Pushpa

I'm talking about the kind that will rip your head off if you open your mouth, stomp around the house, slam things, and to all appearances has actually lost all power of rational thought or conversation. For. No. Good. Reason.

Creative answers please!

Ta.

Originally Posted by Pushpa

Let's say it's a teen who's generally a good kid, well behaved, hardworking, gets good grades, but has had, since they were born, a raging volcano of a temper; as in, when they get mad it's like the full moon just came out and something turned into a hairy four-legged flesh-eating beast and it's like they don't know what they are doing or saying anymore. This person also does not like to be corrected IN ANYTHING, taking any attempt at guidance or teaching as a very personal criticism. To the extent that it is getting really wearing trying to find ways of telling them or showing them how to do things without igniting their very short fuse.

oh...you are talking about me...

[sally]

Well, often, really smart kids don't find school challenging or satisfying enough. Therefore just being at school is torturous for them and they feel like they're wasting precious hours of their day there. I know it sounds like this is very rare but it's actually pretty common and while you can't just tell them to quit school, you can focus on finding other things to do for them that they actually like and that actually make them feel like they're investing time and effort into something worthwhile. A distraction if you will, but one that is fruitful in the long run. Perhaps working on non academia related abilities or skills.

Insha'Allah Khair Don't worry, sometimes it's just a phase. And some kids just learn to live with the fact that they have to go through 12+ years of school..just because everybody else does.

[muslimcrusader]

slap them.. simple.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by muslimcrusader

slap them.. simple.

19 is technically in the teens...hmmm...

[WickedSam]

Beat them up.

Wasalaamzzzz

[Waves]

Originally Posted by Pushpa

Let's say it's a teen who's generally a good kid, well behaved, hardworking, gets good grades, but has had, since they were born, a raging volcano of a temper; as in, when they get mad it's like the full moon just came out and something turned into a hairy four-legged flesh-eating beast and it's like they don't know what they are doing or saying anymore. This person also does not like to be corrected IN ANYTHING, taking any attempt at guidance or teaching as a very personal criticism. To the extent that it is getting really wearing trying to find ways of telling them or showing them how to do things without igniting their very short fuse.

I've seen kids like these and often the family just can't get through to them. You might have to seek out a professional and consider therapy. An anger mangamenet class might also help. Good luck

[shadha]

Pushpa: Let's say it's a teen who's generally a good kid, well behaved, hardworking, gets good grades, but has had, since they were born, a raging volcano of a temper; as in, when they get mad it's like the full moon just came out and something turned into a hairy four-legged flesh-eating beast and it's like they don't know what they are doing or saying anymore. This person also does not like to be corrected IN ANYTHING, taking any attempt at guidance or teaching as a very personal criticism. To the extent that it is getting really wearing trying to find ways of telling them or showing them how to do things without igniting their very short fuse.

Sounds exactly like one of my siblings. Short-tempered, can't be critiqued or be given suggestions without being offended and reacting totally irrational, and when in a bad mood takes it out on everyone around. Other than ignoring this poor personality trait and not fueling the flames, there isn't much that we did about it. When we sense that he's about to reach that point of no return, we back off.

Basing this on my siblings personality, if the teen in your situation receives any books on her issue, she would more than likely become more irate and offended. You're telling her that something is wrong with her, you're doing something that is her major ticking point, which is criticizing her. Even if you have the sincerest intentions and advice, she won't see it that way. Instead, just try to leave a bunch of them laying around, for her to open and read on her own freewill without feeling like you're giving them to her to criticize and belittle her.

Anger management is also a good choice. Yeah, she'll ***** about that but honestly, I would have preferred it for my sibling.


shadha-