[Deel]

"Your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower".

lmfao.

Originally Posted by muslimahpower

awwww i wont pinch my kids that's so mean! i only pinch u guys cuz it's fun to make you scream
and come to think of it. i can't slap. i just remembered how much scarfy used to make fun of me cause the way i slap so i just stopped slapping

you mean you forgot ?
i kid

[Variable]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

Give me your name & address and I can have copies of relevant journals sent to you.

Sounds good.

Yes, I can see how you reached the conclusion I was saying that from this statement:



No matter how bad they are, they are all angels because they have one positive attribute.

I'm not exactly sure what your saying. However, the point that those kids are well behaved because they get spanked is a myth. Even in their mom's presence. I've been (for better or worse) swarmed by hundreds children over various summers during school and would have to say that there is no racial correspondence to how well they behave. I've been around a lot of Latino children as well. And yeh there's a serious (I'd say neurotic) reverence of mother figures in their culture, but to say that they're more obedient down there... just as many are uncontrollable hellions. In fact it feels like more, but then there are more kids.

[Sharmaynia]

My parents have never hit me (unless it was playfully), and I've never understood why parents would use hitting them to teach them a lesson, seeing as it doesn't teach them much. I cant hit others, but my parents can hit me? That's gotta be confusing to them. There are tons of other ways to teach kids that what they're doing is wrong.

I know a little girl who wrote a story in first grade about how she wishes her parents would stop hitting her. The parents were questioned by the principal about what the kid wrote, and even though they said that they only hit her when she did something wrong, they were still closely watched for a while. Awkwaaard.

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Variable

I'm not exactly sure what your saying. However, the point that those kids are well behaved because they get spanked is a myth. Even in their mom's presence. I've been (for better or worse) swarmed by hundreds children over various summers during school and would have to say that there is no racial correspondence to how well they behave. I've been around a lot of Latino children as well. And yeh there's a serious (I'd say neurotic) reverence of mother figures in their culture, but to say that they're more obedient down there... just as many are uncontrollable hellions. In fact it feels like more, but then there are more kids.

I didn't say they were more obedient, I said they tended to be more respectful of them in their presence regardless of how "bad" they are. A lot of young guys from these cultures are extraordinarily poorly behaved, sure - I've seen that myself. They tend to be much less likely to disrespect their parents, though. In all honesty, my comment about spanking was tongue-in-cheek - I think that willingness to instill discipline has something to do with it, but in my opinion, the way these cultures approach the idea of family has more to do with it. Also, I think we're speaking of two different age groups - I was thinking more of slightly older children (in their early teens) who have already undergone that discipline, and it sounds like you might be referring to younger kids.

[Variable]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

I didn't say they were more obedient, I said they tended to be more respectful of them in their presence regardless of how "bad" they are. A lot of young guys from these cultures are extraordinarily poorly behaved, sure - I've seen that myself. They tend to be much less likely to disrespect their parents, though. In all honesty, my comment about spanking was tongue-in-cheek - I think that willingness to instill discipline has something to do with it, but in my opinion, the way these cultures approach the idea of family has more to do with it. Also, I think we're speaking of two different age groups - I was thinking more of slightly older children (in their early teens) who have already undergone that discipline, and it sounds like you might be referring to younger kids.

Yeh okay. Well put.

[TariqBinSleepin]

As our Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said, everything should be done in Moderation, and
who ever earlier posted (can't b bothered to go back and re-read >_>) Spanking in
moderation is actually good. No ones saying to beat the crap out of the child. But
disciple is something we all NEED.
One thing i WONT do is hit my daughter, if i have a daughter (Inshallah ), I can't
imagine hitting her, i will discipline them with good morals and what not, but if the boy
ever misbehaves...like heavily one or two smacks won't hurt.

We should REWARD their good behaviors and PUNISH their bad ones.
Simple As That.

[arabookworm]

Originally Posted by iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu

From like 2-4 I think spanking is okay in certain instances, like (lightly) hitting them on the hand/legs if they persist in doing mischief (playing with the stove or something equally dangerous).

Once they have the ability to rationalize I think you should be able to communicate your disapproval in other ways. Oh and definitely always explain to them why something is unacceptable.
Kids are inquisitive by nature, and they're more inclined to listen if they know why they're being told to do/avoid something.

I don't know. I've heard that toddlers don't understand why they are spanked and just get upset, and that if you move them away, say no, and give them something equally fun but less dangerous to do, they will generally get the message. I could be wrong though.

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

I didn't say they were more obedient, I said they tended to be more respectful of them in their presence regardless of how "bad" they are. A lot of young guys from these cultures are extraordinarily poorly behaved, sure - I've seen that myself. They tend to be much less likely to disrespect their parents, though.

Still, I wouldn't want my kids giving me respect simply 'cause they fear me.
I respect my parents but I'm not scared of them.

Desi parents really do hit their kids a lot though and it's not necessary. My sister was telling me just yesterday about how the brown kids she goes to school with are all so scared of their parents 'cause they get hit. Like "He got into a fender bender and his dad hit him." These are teenagers! Some of them are adults actually.

At some point, you have to relate to your kid as an adult or a young adult.

But then again, she also goes to school with desi kids who're skipping classes, doing drugs and even selling them (boys, actually). Their parents don't do anything.

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Originally Posted by arabookworm

I don't know. I've heard that toddlers don't understand why they are spanked and just get upset, and that if you move them away, say no, and give them something equally fun but less dangerous to do, they will generally get the message. I could be wrong though.

Distractions don't always work and a firm tone doesn't always work either. Like I said, only when something is really dangerous or when they get really hyper and uncontrollable. I don't mean hitting them to hurt them and not enough to make them cry, just a slap on the hands/legs or a pinch will be enough to stop them in their tracks. It works with my nephew

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Still, I wouldn't want my kids giving me respect simply 'cause they fear me.
I respect my parents but I'm not scared of them.

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

In all honesty, my comment about spanking was tongue-in-cheek - I think that willingness to instill discipline has something to do with it, but in my opinion, the way these cultures approach the idea of family has more to do with it.

0123456789

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu

Distractions don't always work and a firm tone doesn't always work either. Like I said, only when something is really dangerous or when they get really hyper and uncontrollable. I don't mean hitting them to hurt them and not enough to make them cry, just a slap on the hands/legs or a pinch will be enough to stop them in their tracks. It works with my nephew

if they're hyper and uncontrollable, they probably need to be fed less sugar?

[iamcrazy]

Smack 'em hard

















Am kidding .....

[Bluestar]

Originally Posted by iamcrazy

Smack 'em hard



Am kidding .....

ha
ha
ha

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Originally Posted by Bluestar

if they're hyper and uncontrollable, they probably need to be fed less sugar?

kids are extremely energetic by nature, they don't need sugar for that. I'm not trying to sound like a know it all or anything, I just have 5 little brothers, a neice, and two nephews.. so I babysit a LOT


anywho, if you disagree thats cool.. I'm all for the tomato tamatoe philosophy