[Rain]

I got threatened with Islamic boarding school's in India and South Africa...and was sent to a horrible one in Bradford once. Being in that harsh environment taught me nothing, I just wanted to bend every single rule and rebel even more. Funny how my folks thought of giving me an Islamic education when all else failed. I love 'em both.

Sometimes, all this, talking to kids to make them understand etc, doesn't work. There was this kid in year 4 that I taught twice a week for a few months and he had serious issues, mostly from home, and obviously we were picking up on his behaviour at school, etc. I remember his mum coming in every other day to speak to the headteacher and together, they'd give him "time-out" and understanding little talks and attempt to make him feel the guilt of his actions and consequences, etc, but anybody could see that it wasn't working at all. I remember this one time I was sitting with his mum and she was telling him "how very wrong it was to do such and such and how you should put yourself in the other persons shoes" blah blah. He had this insolent look upon his face and he was staring at me, I mean...constant staring, no twitching, looking left or right and I remember counting the number of times he was blinking! All I was thinking then was: you need a slap, you little weasel.

And if that was my kid, then yes, I would've slapped him.

Don't get me wrong, most of the time, you can discipline your child without the aid of beatings, etc, and the best thing is to always remain calm and playful, so that when they do misbehave the firmness of your voice, the unusual anger you display will immediately let them know that matters are now serious.

[muslimahpower]

Originally Posted by Timbit

I hate when I see parents hit their kids for no reason. Especially little kids. Like 3, 4, 5, 6 year-olds. They're so small at that age. Like, they can't tie their shoelaces, so you hit them. Then they're crying, so you hit them again. I saw that on some messed-up talk show once. I think it was Ricki Lake. Some people honestly don't deserve to have kids.

exactly! ur making the poor thing cry even more

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

Everything in moderation. If you beat or hit your child whenever they do something wrong, then it's not going to have much of an effect on them. And yes I do believe in hitting your children. I think it's ok to hit your child in order to get rid of bad habits, like when they start rolling their eyes at you. I swear if my kid ever did that to me....he/she has it coming.

whenever u say "ur gonna get it now" i know to run/stop whatever im doing. poor kids :P lolllll

Originally Posted by Deel

bwahahahaha prison style.
i think i'll actually try that
as for the time out thing,
i highly doubt that works. at least with my kids.
for the record, Wolfn,
they're so wayyyyy in hell i'm allowing that damned X box in my children's room.

"Hadeel's kids are gonna go around biting people"

[TariqBinSleepin]

Beat that child! Do you want him to feel left out between his Black, Hispanic, and Desi friends? Beeeeeeeet him!

[Timbit]

I've noticed though that oftentimes when a kid is throwing a temper tantrum for no reason, many parents say "Stop it or I'm gonna smack you." And the kid stops.

They can be all "Oh no sweetie, don't cry. You have to share your toy with your little brother" and explain why we share, but the little brat just won't listen. When they say "Be quiet or I'm gonna hit you"... then the kid stops.

You don't have to hit the kid. It's just the threat.
But then... you're still threatening them with violence.
And how would they know that they don't want to be hit, unless they've been hit before?

Thoughts?

[MuslimZ]

never .

[sixpakistan]

Hitting/spanking is a perfectly legitimate and acceptable method of discipline when applied judiciously. Obviously, if you beat the crap out of your kid every day or for every stupid little thing, it's not going to do any good (and is inhumane). Everything in moderation.. and yeah, there are some kids that just don't need to be hit.

Originally Posted by TariqBinSleepin

Beat that child! Do you want him to feel left out between his Black, Hispanic, and Desi friends? Beeeeeeeet him!

Good point. I'm pretty sure not beating your kids is a phenomenon prevalent mostly amongst affluent whites. Is it a coincidence that white (non-Muslim white) kids seem to be the most disrespectful to their parents by far? No matter how bad a Black, Desi, or Latino kid is, for the most part they cower in mama's presence..

[shsh]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

Hitting/spanking is a perfectly legitimate and acceptable method of discipline when applied judiciously. Obviously, if you beat the crap out of your kid every day or for every stupid little thing, it's not going to do any good (and is inhumane). Everything in moderation.. and yeah, there are some kids that just don't need to be hit.





Good point. I'm pretty sure not beating your kids is a phenomenon prevalent mostly amongst affluent whites. Is it a coincidence that white (non-Muslim white) kids seem to be the most disrespectful to their parents by far? No matter how bad a Black, Desi, or Latino kid is, for the most part they cower in mama's presence..

i am sure your mom beat you too when you are a kid....now you are at the age where youll be beating up the kids... you are so old.

[Variable]

I think there's a magic formula, where - if successfully implemented - the mere thought of disappointing you is enough to make the kids' bottom lip tremble with fear. I think there is, I'm just not sure what it is. I was even getting pretty good at making it happen, but I can't explain it.

[Deel]

[quote=muslimahpower;34251"Hadeel's kids are gonna go around biting people" [/QUOTE]

ROFL!
shuttup! i won't bite my kids!

Originally Posted by TariqBinSleepin

Beat that child! Do you want him to feel left out between his Black, Hispanic, and Desi friends? Beeeeeeeet him!

that's sooooo Russel Peters
Russell Peters - Beating your kids

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

Good point. I'm pretty sure not beating your kids is a phenomenon prevalent mostly amongst affluent whites. Is it a coincidence that white (non-Muslim white) kids seem to be the most disrespectful to their parents by far? No matter how bad a Black, Desi, or Latino kid is, for the most part they cower in mama's presence..

hahaha!
tru dat tru dat.

[Variable]

Originally Posted by sixpakistan

Good point. I'm pretty sure not beating your kids is a phenomenon prevalent mostly amongst affluent whites. Is it a coincidence that white (non-Muslim white) kids seem to be the most disrespectful to their parents by far? No matter how bad a Black, Desi, or Latino kid is, for the most part they cower in mama's presence..

Racial stereotype much?

[muslimahpower]

it annoys me when a kid is at someone else's house and goes around screaming and yelling and the mom is like "beta stop. u dont do this at home! ur so quiet at home!"
if they're quiet at home why would they go around screaming like crazy in front of random people

Originally Posted by Deel

ROFL!
shuttup! i won't bite my kids!

good cuz if u did, i'd be scared

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by muslimahpower

if they're quiet at home why would they go around screaming like crazy in front of random people

Cause in the other ppls home they have friends to scream around with and at home they're alone?

[zakk]

Originally Posted by muslimahpower

it annoys me when a kid is at someone else's house and goes around screaming and yelling and the mom is like "beta stop. u dont do this at home! ur so quiet at home!"
if they're quiet at home why would they go around screaming like crazy in front of random people :

some kids get excited and hyper around people. Haneef plays quietly by himself at home, but if we go somewhere, or someone comes over, he gets super happy and slightly nuts.

[sixpakistan]

Originally Posted by Variable

Racial stereotype much?

I didn't know "affluent white" was a race, or that "non-Muslim whites" weren't white.

The tendency for affluent whites to avoid employing corporal discipline to the same extent as poorer whites, blacks, and Hispanics is a social phenomenon that's been a matter of study by family researchers and psychologists. Check out Welcome to NCFR, they have written on it to some extent - they've got articles on JSTOR as well. If you like, I can have some of their literature mailed to you.

My statement implied that white children were poorly behaved specifically because their parents didn't spank them (as pointed out a social phenomenon, since it's only affluent whites), not because the white race was flawed (something which was also ruled out by my specifying they were non-Muslim).

Having said that, I hate whitey. All white people are evil!