[MossadConspiracy]

dont put a loaded gun to their head or use stress positions or anything like that

otherwise, yeah hitting can be an important tool in discipline. But there are ways to raise kids successfully without hitting. Its really about understanding how a kid sees the world at each age, and using an appropriate discipline strategy for that age. there are alot of garbage pop books about it, and some very technical psychology books that deal with it. I dont know which are better

[shadha]

Deel: Timbit, Shadha, then what will you do to your children as punishment when they've misbehaved?
Wolfn: However, what are some other good ways of disciplining children? I'm guessing taking away privledges (did I spell that right? It looks wrong to me) is a good one. You can't send kids to their room because of all the cool things that are in a bedroom these days. With things like X-box and what-not, if you tell your child to go to his room, he'll be like "awesome!" and then it's not punishment at all.

I would not allow Tvs/game systems in my children's rooms.

Forms of discipline that I agree with:

For young child, time out does wonders. First tell the child to stop the behavior and why the behavior is unacceptable. Then give warnings, and finally if the child is persistent, give the child a time out for the length of their age [one minuter per year, up to 5 minutes]. Either set a timer and tell the child he can come out from time out when it rings or you can give the child the 'power' of deciding when he is ready to come out from time out-- it really depends on what the bad behavior was.

You can't leave the young child in time out for longer than the one-minute rule per year because then they will seriously forget what they were originally there for. Time-out will also lose it's affect.

Oh oh and stay consistent. No means no. Children are naturally manipulative, it's their own self-protection they have. In the store, if the child whines and cries for candy after you already said no and you then get them the candy because you can't stand to hear their mouth...it's all over for you. Not only did you lose the battle, but you lost the war. The child played you and the child will now associate crying and whining and yelling to getting their way.

For the older children- I would begin to take away their privileges. Kids hate going to bed-- so I would cut back their bedtime hours for that night or week [depending on their behavior]. I would begin to take away their favorite toys until their behavior changes. I would ground them from going out with friends or playing on the computers/internet. I would give them writing assignments. For certain behavior, I'd make them volunteer.

For extreme cases, I would clean out their room and leave it prison style. Three outfits of my choosing and sheets on the bed. Hell, if they get so outrageous, I would seek a judge out and ask that my child pays a visit to the local jail and see where they will end up if they continue down the road of destruction and poor choices.

Worst comes to worst, off to military school they go.


shadha-

[YOUSUFofSD]

I use the corner and that seems to work great for me...but the main thing is that both the mother and father are working together on the discipline so that not one is the tough one and the other is the 'whatever you want baby' one.

Both need to be stern but caring to keep them in line as they can and do get into trouble.

As far as when I was growing up, I've had the belt, coat hanger, tv deprivation...used for discipline..good times eh

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

can you actually send kids to military schools?!?! i thought that was just in the Sims.

[Deel]

bwahahahaha prison style.
i think i'll actually try that
as for the time out thing,
i highly doubt that works. at least with my kids.
for the record, Wolfn,
they're so wayyyyy in hell i'm allowing that damned X box in my children's room.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

time out is wicked, esp the 'naughty step.' very effective.

[iTz_NoT_Me_iTzZu]

Originally Posted by shadha

Worst comes to worst, off to military school they go.


shadha-

you're kidding right? they'll be ABUSED!

[shadha]

Yeah, you can send them to military school.

And I'm serious. If I can't control my own child, then he/she needs to be in an environment where there is strict protocol and structure.


shadha-

[Musashi]

Asallamu 'alaikum wa rahmatulLahi wa barakatuh

Agreed with sister Shadha and and brother Yousuf.

Spanking is most definitely not beating.
I side with spanking, but only on younger children. With older ones, they know enough to understand words and not require smacks.

Smacking should only be used as a last resort and shouldn't hurt too badly.

Time out does absolutely nothing for some kids, especially ones who prefer sitting and doing nothing but staring blankly at the wall/clock, but then again, those aren't usually the ones who end up needing a smack. Or they would continue to move around. And yes, you can actually send kids to military school. xD

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by Timbit

Why do I find myself agreeing with you more and more these days?

Cause you're falling for his charms

Anyway, the Prophet always smiled at kids. If they disobeyed him, he smiled at them. Thats how I wan't to raise my kids Insha Allah

Lifes too short to raise kids harshly donchaknow

[Timbit]

Originally Posted by wheelworks

Cause you're falling for his charms

Uh, no.
I like his explanation better.

My parents sent my big brother to military school. In Pakistan.
Beat that. He wasn't a bad kid; they just thought the level of education over there was better. Plus, the whole structure and discipline thing. It was more preventative, I guess.

It was a good experience for him overall... but he says he wouldn't want my younger brother going there right now, 'cause he's only 12. Maybe when he's a little older. My brother went for three years when he was 14.

[Ilikemyscarf]

Everything in moderation. If you beat or hit your child whenever they do something wrong, then it's not going to have much of an effect on them. And yes I do believe in hitting your children. I think it's ok to hit your child in order to get rid of bad habits, like when they start rolling their eyes at you. I swear if my kid ever did that to me....he/she has it coming.

[Deel]

i'm with the military school too man. but only with older kids.
i don't want my little ones going that far away
after growing up watching my brother get out of control with my parents,
sometimes that's the only solution
..and they'd totally deserve it .

[Deel]

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

Everything in moderation. If you beat or hit your child whenever they do something wrong, then it's not going to have much of an effect on them. And yes I do believe in hitting your children. I think it's ok to hit your child in order to get rid of bad habits, like when they start rolling their eyes at you. I swear if my kid ever did that to me....he/she has it coming.

you hate little kids anyway
''I swear if my kid ever did that to me..."
lmao.

[Timbit]

I hate when I see parents hit their kids for no reason. Especially little kids. Like 3, 4, 5, 6 year-olds. They're so small at that age. Like, they can't tie their shoelaces, so you hit them. Then they're crying, so you hit them again. I saw that on some messed-up talk show once. I think it was Ricki Lake. Some people honestly don't deserve to have kids.

In my family, you don't get hit if you're too young and if you're too old.

My little brother did something really bad once though. We were all appalled. My parents thought it was best to just talk to him though. They sat him down and told him they were "disappointed" and all that... they didn't even let us hear it so he wouldn't be embarrassed.

Guess what? That kid did it again!
So then he got hit. And he admits that the first time, he wasn't punished severely so he thought that he had "gotten away with it". He needed that spanking.