Dumb Customers/Co-Workers

[shadha]

AsSalamu' Alaykum,

Inspired by the hilarious new book out, Waiter Rant, this is a thread to share all your hilarious/ridiculous/baffling/offensive/ and just plain old stupid customer/co-worker experiences whether you're in retail or restaurant business.

I HATE cheap customers. Here are two recent cheapos I had to deal with:

Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your Borders card?
CheapoMan: Yeah I do. And I would like to use this coupon.
Me: *looks at coupon date* Sir, this coupon is from back in June. It is now September.
CheapoMan: So?
Me: This coupon here expired on June 7th. Today's day is September 8th.
CheapoMan: So? I can't still use it?
Me: No sir you can not use this coupon that expired on Juuunnne 7th.
CheapoMan: I can't believe you stick with expiration dates.
Me: Pff, tell me about it.

Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your Borders card?
CheapoWoman: Yes I do but I have a question.
Me: Oki....
CheapoWoman: *holds up book that is already discounted at 30%* Can I use this 30% off coupon on this book?
Me: No. You can not. The book is already 30% off.
CheapoWoman: Oh I can't?
Me: You can't. You can't double coupons.
CheapoWoman: Oh oki. I don't want it then.

How do you expect to get 60% off a book, ESPECIALLY when the coupon explicitly says you can't use on already discounted items? That's just ridonkculos.




Oh oh oh I got a real gem:

Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your Borders card?
DumbCustomer: I do. Can I use this here? *Holds up a Barnes & Nobles Gift Card*
Me: No.

It got even worse when a co-worker actually got on the mic and asked if another customer [yes this happens more often than you think] could use it...like are you kidding me?





One of my favorites from working at CVS:

On a hot summer day...
Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your CVS card?
OldVetMan: Are you cold?
Me: I'm sorry?
OldVetMan: *waves hand around head to signify my Hijab* Are you cold?
Me: Ohh. Umm yeah. I am. Being close to the door and all.
OldVetMan: *leans in* You're not one of those Muslims are you?
Me: Yes I am.
OldVetMan: I hope you're one of the good ones.
Me:...............





Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your CVS card?
Customer: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Shakira?
Me: Ahh. No. Not at all......so you have a CVS card?



shadha-

[shadha]

This one isn't about a customer, rather a co-worker. I posted it up in cracked outs when it first happened, so I'll just copy it here. I had this older woman co-worker who can not say my name for the life of her. Every time she would get on the intercom to call me up, she managed to find a whole new way to butcher my name.

Manager: 'Cen-sar' to the front please,
Me: Yeah, I know. She can't say my name.
Manager: Ahahahaha
Me: Hey! Why don't you go up there and be like, "You've been saying her name wrong, her name is really ShaNayNay"

A few minutes later over the intercom:

"Sha...sha...shaNAYNAY to the front please."

The entire crew fell out laughing and all day we were laughing every time she called me over the intercom.



shadha-

[skamed]

Back in the day.



Customer: Do you have any baggies?
Me:
Customer: You know, for drugs
Me: No, we don't.



Customer: Where are do you keep the round thingies?
Me:
Customer: You know the round thingies?
Me:
After a while, I finally figured out that what she wanted were CDs

[skamed]

Customer: Tell me about this computer, what chip does it have?
Me: Thats a Pentium 4
Customer: But what chip does it have?
Me: A Pentium 4
Customer: What chip does it have?
Me: I don't know what you're referring to when you say "chip"
Customer: Well since you can't answer my question, I'm going

[heba]

ugh, i yelled at a customer the other day

he was freakin out on me for something i had no control over, and then he told me im treating him that way because he has dark skin and is an arab. i was like SIR I AM NOT RACIST AGAINST MY PEOPLE THAT IS OFFENSIVE. and he continued to say that was why, and im like YOURE AN IDIOT IM NOT DEALING WITH U.

when i told my boss what happened she laughed i wanna punch him everytime he comes in, he looks like a stupid turtle

anyway i get dumb customers on a daily basis...i can fill this thread in like 2mins

[Wolfn]

I'm cleaning out trash cans as part of the nighttime clean up at grocery store

*man comes up to me*

Man: "excuse me, where's your manager"

me: "I'll go get her"

*I get manager and bring her to customer*

Man: *points to me and says "this kid isn't doing anything! I want my groceries bagged!"







In addition, there was an old customer who wanted the price of his groceries lowered because he lived in a different zip code.

[sally]

heba said

he looks like a stupid turtle

Hahahahahah wow, that's mean but I've never heard that and it's hilarious to me

[Jaune]

Wolfn said

I'm cleaning out trash cans as part of the nighttime clean up at grocery store

*man comes up to me*

Man: "excuse me, where's your manager"

me: "I'll go get her"

*I get manager and bring her to customer*

Man: *points to me and says "this kid isn't doing anything! I want my groceries bagged!"

Ouch he made you call the manager and self-prosecute yourself? He must have been really annoyed.

[fatima]

i have sooo many crazy customer stories.

there was one regular customer that used to come into the pharmacy all the time, and each time she would insist that she knew me when i was a little kid. i tried to tell her that fatima is a pretty popular name in the area that i live in, and i was sure it wasnt me. she INSISTED that i used to play with her daughters at summer camp, and refused to believe me when i said it wasnt me and that i had never gone to summer camp. she would stand there and describe what her daughters looked like and what she used to look like. once she even brought in her daughter with her to show me to her (her daughter looked really embarassed lol). and another time she brought in an old picture of her and her kids when they were younger to see if i recognized them. id try to be nice 'hmm no i dont think it was me' and she would just nod and say 'oh, no honey...IT WAS YOU!'

finally after we'd had that same conversation about 10 times i just gave up and said its possible (even though it wasnt). she was like...I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW YOU'D REMEMBER SOME DAY!!

aside from her slight insanity...she was really nice haha.

[shadha]

LOL awwwww @ fatima


Oki, so really stupid customer two days ago...

A white couple in their late 20s early 30s come up to the register and the guy asks me how much the Spanish Rossetta Stones were.

Me: Level 1 is 250 and Level 2 is 420
Guy: Wooooooow. Expensive.
Me: Yeah, unfortunately they are.
Girl: Pssssh, they should just learn our language.
Me: *a smilie doesn't even do justice to the dirty look I gave her*


shadha-

[2cute2be]

my mom owns a store, i usually go there on weekends, anyway some lady comes in, and i am alone this i how the convo goes...


me: how may i help you
oldhag: um...yes, how much this *pointing to a blanket*
me: o $55 dollars
oldhag: *laughs to herself* for me sister
(like she so special she get her own price)
me: sorry sister it's 55
oldhag: no no no.. i take 30 dollar
me: sorry i cant do that
oldhag: other store sell 30 dollar, why you so much
(a complete lie)
me: i am sure no one sell it 30 dollars


finally realizing she was not going anywhere, starts yelling in some language, and leaves

she comes back in 15 mins and buys it for 55 dollars

[IbnMardhiyah]

there's a reason why they call it haggling.

[Khairan]

shadha said

AsSalamu' Alaykum,

Inspired by the hilarious new book out, Waiter Rant, this is a thread to share all your hilarious/ridiculous/baffling/offensive/ and just plain old stupid customer/co-worker experiences whether you're in retail or restaurant business.

I HATE cheap customers. Here are two recent cheapos I had to deal with:

Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your Borders card?
CheapoMan: Yeah I do. And I would like to use this coupon.
Me: *looks at coupon date* Sir, this coupon is from back in June. It is now September.
CheapoMan: So?
Me: This coupon here expired on June 7th. Today's day is September 8th.
CheapoMan: So? I can't still use it?
Me: No sir you can not use this coupon that expired on Juuunnne 7th.
CheapoMan: I can't believe you stick with expiration dates.
Me: Pff, tell me about it.

Me: Hi, how are you? Do you have your Borders card?
CheapoWoman: Yes I do but I have a question.
Me: Oki....
CheapoWoman: *holds up book that is already discounted at 30%* Can I use this 30% off coupon on this book?
Me: No. You can not. The book is already 30% off.
CheapoWoman: Oh I can't?
Me: You can't. You can't double coupons.
CheapoWoman: Oh oki. I don't want it then.

How do you expect to get 60% off a book, ESPECIALLY when the coupon explicitly says you can't use on already discounted items? That's just ridonkculos.

You don't know very many desis, do you?

[psychoteddybear]

I worked in a dollar store during college for a brief time, and my boss was so cheap he would make us reglue the ceramic figurines (of cats, dogs, bells, ducks, JHoly Mary, whatever, etc) that had accidentially broke. He was without a doubt one of the cheapest bosses I ever had.

On more than one occasion I've had to deal with overtly affectionate/needy/depressed co-workers who tell me EVERYTHING about their lives, and i'm left uncomfortably wondering how i should react to what i've just heard.

so many stories regarding customers, especially in retail...getting yelled about not carrying things customers saw in ads, dealing with people throwing things on the side or on the floor right in front of you, screaming kids, puke, etc.

one time i was a secretary for this old electrician dude only to have it end because he proposed to me within 2 weeks of me working for him...he was at least 25+ years older than me.

My last job was classic. Two Chinese female managers that I could not stand at all (much of my time was spent dodging their crap and avoiding having to talk to them at all or faking a nice calm vibe around them), an alcoholic director who expected everyone to look the other way when she invited particular favorite co-workers into her office for some Jack Daniels or Johnny Walker on Fridays, making out with one of my co-workers at the last Christmas party, and neurotic co-workers which ranged to two desi girls who were so anti-desi I felt bad asking them if they wanted to get Indian for lunch, depressed 45 year old married women to a potential stalker/loner/weirdo who was a hardcore Star Trek fan...it was quite disturbing.

And I cannot forget the 5'2 Italian attorney from Long Island who lived with his hillbilly wife from East San Diego on the beach and constantly threw around the fact that he made good money off of us and his clients by flashing toys, boasting about vacations, and implying relations with women other than his wife. I quit this place because this guy was a lunatic who was obsessively paranoid about how we all worked and would correct every mistake that was made. It was almost pointless to work there because he would do it himself anyways. But I left due to him calling me a ***** after a rather trite discussion in the office in front of 2 other people...I have considered writing a hate ad on Craigslist about him (that's how I had found the job in the first place).

[Bluestar]

IbnMardhiyah said

there's a reason why they call it haggling.

You can tell you're a salesperson. I never leave a shop without haggling, even if i don't buy anything Got to keep up with the old tradition.