[luminosity]

Ok so we all do it, no matter how hard you try not to involve yourself in cursing and talking about others. It can sometimes be hard to avoid. But if you do want to put a stop to it, how do you go about doing that? Im trying to stop gossiping, as im a girl and have cousins and friends we all sit down and have a gossip here and there. But the more i try to avoid it the more of a sinner i am even listening to it.

Any ideas on how to avoid getting involved at all. Its not as easy as it seems. The reason im now starting to think this way is because even if i do talk about someone wether it be nice or not. People could be talking behind my back.

[luminosity]

Bump

[farah]

if people are gonna talk about you behind your back, let them. make your position clear, be honest and sincere. if they continue to backbite, the punishment is all theirs in the afterlife.

to avoid backbiting in groups, change the subject when something comes up. if such subtlety doesn't work, blatantly be like "we shouldn't talk about this person behind their back" and even if that's too subtle, leave the room while everyone talks about the person.

[luminosity]

Originally Posted by farah

if people are gonna talk about you behind your back, let them. make your position clear, be honest and sincere. if they continue to backbite, the punishment is all theirs in the afterlife.

to avoid backbiting in groups, change the subject when something comes up. if such subtlety doesn't work, blatantly be like "we shouldn't talk about this person behind their back" and even if that's too subtle, leave the room while everyone talks about the person.

Leaving the room would be asking for trouble. Their reaction would probably be like 'what happened to her?' Recently i have been honest and upfront about things, but at the same time discussed the same issue about the person behind their back which is something that can be avoided but isn't. I guess stating the obvious 'we shouldn't really talk about people' would help.

[farah]

Originally Posted by luminosity

Leaving the room would be asking for trouble. Their reaction would probably be like 'what happened to her?' Recently i have been honest and upfront about things, but at the same time discussed the same issue about the person behind their back which is something that can be avoided but isn't. I guess stating the obvious 'we shouldn't really talk about people' would help.

really? leaving isn't that big of a deal. it proves your firm stance on something that has absolutely no place in the life of pious muslims. articles for inspiration (particularly the second one, to help you avoid those who backbite and entice you to do so):

Backbiting & Slander - an Islamic perspective

Prohibition of Listening to Backbiting

[luminosity]

Originally Posted by farah

really? leaving isn't that big of a deal. it proves your firm stance on something that has absolutely no place in the life of pious muslims. articles for inspiration (particularly the second one, to help you avoid those who backbite and entice you to do so):

Backbiting & Slander - an Islamic perspective

Prohibition of Listening to Backbiting

Thanks sister i really appreciate that, will really help. Im not perfect but its always good to try and get there. Thankyou.

[Sea_of_Roses]

In terms of when people talked about me when i was younger I use to get pissed, then i tried adopting that whole "I dont care what anybody thinks about me" attitude and that was dumb. Some people have crappy lives and unfortunately they choose gossiping as their form of entertainment

I dont think its smart to completely ignore what people say, maybe what they're saying has some truth, Be Conscious of what others say but dont Cater your life to it either.

[luminosity]

Originally Posted by Sea_of_Roses

In terms of when people talked about me when i was younger I use to get pissed, then i tried adopting that whole "I dont care what anybody thinks about me" attitude and that was dumb. Some people have crappy lives and unfortunately they choose gossiping as their form of entertainment

I dont think its smart to completely ignore what people say, maybe what they're saying has some truth, Be Conscious of what others say but dont Cater your life to it either.

It is better to ignore but sometimes ignoring back biting leeds to depression and getting upset over people that dont matter. I think to an extent people should be ignored. But there is a limit that people should not go over.

[Sea_of_Roses]

Originally Posted by luminosity

Ok so we all do it, no matter how hard you try not to involve yourself in cursing and talking about others. It can sometimes be hard to avoid. But if you do want to put a stop to it, how do you go about doing that? Im trying to stop gossiping, as im a girl and have cousins and friends we all sit down and have a gossip here and there. But the more i try to avoid it the more of a sinner i am even listening to it.

Any ideas on how to avoid getting involved at all. Its not as easy as it seems. The reason im now starting to think this way is because even if i do talk about someone wether it be nice or not. People could be talking behind my back.

try changing the subject or just tell your relatives that it isnt right to talk bad about others

[Anderson]

Back biting can be very tempting but it is forbidden outside of marriage.

[Sea_of_Roses]

Originally Posted by luminosity

It is better to ignore but sometimes ignoring back biting leeds to depression and getting upset over people that dont matter. I think to an extent people should be ignored. But there is a limit that people should not go over.

Exactly thats why Im saying be conscious of what they say but dont cater your life or efforts to it

[luminosity]

Originally Posted by Sea_of_Roses

try changing the subject or just tell your relatives that it isnt right to talk bad about others

Its not as easy as it seems. I know you'll probably be thinking, 'whats so hard about saying 'Its not right to talk about others' its a matter of self control, im not too bothered about them its me, i dont want to do it.. The best possible thing to do i guess is to get up and leave

[luminosity]

Originally Posted by Anderson

Back biting can be very tempting but it is forbidden outside of marriage.

Islamically i know its wrong but in general its wrong i just dont understand why we have to do it. LOL

[plops]

Originally Posted by Anderson

Back biting can be very tempting but it is forbidden outside of marriage.

Not very tempting if its a hairy back...







...or bengali.

[Rida]

Originally Posted by Anderson

Back biting can be very tempting but it is forbidden outside of marriage.

gotta rep that