[sally]

Originally Posted by vegetables

to paraphrase chris rock, men dont have platonic female friends, they have friends they havent ****** yet lol. I share his sentiment. anywhooo I hope my significant other doesnt have any male friends.

sounds hella offensive but i kinda think the same way..theres really no such thing as a platonic relationship..theres always danger of one side thinking more of it all, or either side entertaining thoughts about the possibility of what could be in their minds..even non seriously..which is wrong.

also a lot of people who consider their interactions with opposite gender friends as platonic really do come off as flirty to me at times..ive seen it in real life, online,etc.. there are some kinda jokes that a girl would just not constantly make with her other girlfriends..and reserves that for guy friends..and i dont necessarily mean dirty jokes.. i mean the style and manner in which taht joke is conveyed..pretty much the girl and guy act completely different with each other than they do with other same gender friends..and that's a big enough of a difference for me to consider it non platonic.

if a relationship is really platonic then onlookers should be able to judge it that way and it's impossible for them to always get that vibe because it is really different in nature. additionally, a guy and girl who may be friends may NEVER seriously think of being with each other and hence label their relationship as platonic, but like i said earlier, that's not enough to put them off of jokingly entertaining the possibility of their relationship being more than what it is

whether or not they would ever be serious about each other in a romantic sense is not even an issue of concern if they've thought about it or given others that vibe in a not so serious sense..because from that point on it's all the same

[displaced]

Originally Posted by sally

sounds hella offensive but i kinda think the same way..theres really no such thing as a platonic relationship..theres always danger of one side thinking more of it all, or either side entertaining thoughts about the possibility of what could be in their minds..even non seriously..which is wrong.

yeah..and then if one person tells the other person that they have more than platonic feelings, it's awkward.

it's easiest to get along with happily (loyally) married men.

[sally]

Originally Posted by displaced

yeah..and then if one person tells the other person that they have more than platonic feelings, it's awkward.

yeah. and most everybody has a weird story like that or has a good friend who went through someone like that etc. so its not something that's rare

[psychoteddybear]

i'd just send happy new year, eid, and birthday wishes through e-mail. there are particular ones that i would be cool with inviting them with their wives and kids over for BBQ's and stuff. but nothing really major.

[Deel]

Originally Posted by psychoteddybear

i'd just send happy new year, eid, and birthday wishes through e-mail. there are particular ones that i would be cool with inviting them with their wives and kids over for BBQ's and stuff. but nothing really major.

there you go. double dates.

[bluey]

Shouldn't this be in the love and relationship section?

To answer the question, I don't have a problem doing that.

The trick is to actually limit the opposite gender friends you have before marriage and to keep your distance.

Originally Posted by sally

iA whoever i marry should be on the same wavelenght as myself on this. there should be no double standards on this issue islamically speaking

i used to think there was no harm in casual convos but it's really nothing worthwhile like displaced said. makes life less complicated. plus i think it's wrong

it's not about insecurity, it's about agreeing that something like this is wrong. like i wouldnt be ok with non zabiha eating, etc

I agree.

[Jamroll]

Define "friend".

I think that's really where the judgement lies.

Some people have opposite-sex friends that they can rely on, have similar interests, were friends with their sister/brother, grew up with, whatever. I don't think there should be such a big deal about that.

Other people have opposite-sex friends they hug, flirt, pat, pet, play, or whatever, with. I think these people probably have to either be cut off, or the relationship has to change significantly.

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Other people have opposite-sex friends they hug, flirt, pat, pet, play, or whatever, with.

This is the image I had with that line:

"Sit friend, sit! Good friend."

[annie_359]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Other people have opposite-sex friends they hug, flirt, pat, pet, play, or whatever, with. I think these people probably have to either be cut off, or the relationship has to change significantly.

I hate Muslim people who know better who insist on doing that.. I jus wanna punch them in their tummy really hard

I know I come across as a self-righteous b*tch for sayin that but it jus brings back so many memories of being surrounded by such people and being made to look like the extremist coz I didn't engage in that kinda behaviour with my guy colleagues or even guy colleagues who I considered as my younger brothers.. Oh the bad memories LOL

Annie

[sak01]

Originally Posted by Jamroll

Define "friend".

I think that's really where the judgement lies.

Some people have opposite-sex friends that they can rely on, have similar interests, were friends with their sister/brother, grew up with, whatever. I don't think there should be such a big deal about that.

Other people have opposite-sex friends they hug, flirt, pat, pet, play, or whatever, with. I think these people probably have to either be cut off, or the relationship has to change significantly.

There is still the danger with both types of friends that one person develops a crush on the other. In fact, I would argue the danger is greater with the first type of friendship.

[lol_lol]

when i get married, im going to cut off al ties with islamica thou

[Ilikemyscarf]

Originally Posted by lol_lol

when i get married, im going to cut off al ties with islamica thou

Stay in school though.

[Spice]

And dont do drugs.

[wheelworks]

Originally Posted by lol_lol

when i get married, im going to cut off al ties with islamica thou

Insha Allah