[Sha_]

Originally Posted by Salika

Eat fat people!

I read this about 3 times before I realised you meant, 'eat fat, people!' and were not telling us to become cannibals.

[Ilikemyscarf]

What about those boxed Lean Cuisines? Lots of people at work eat them, they look tasty.

[caffienetime]

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

What about those boxed Lean Cuisines? Lots of people at work eat them, they look tasty.

they aint halaal

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by caffienetime

they aint halaal

there are vegetarian ones.

[sixpakistan]

A lot of Salafis don't eat zabiha

Originally Posted by Ilikemyscarf

What about those boxed Lean Cuisines? Lots of people at work eat them, they look tasty.

I've eaten them while dieting in the past just because they're so convenient, but they're definitely not tasty. They don't have good calorie density and they're not very nutritious either.

At my old job, there were a bunch of 40somethings who microwaved Lean Cuisines for lunch and ate them at their desks while working. As a fan of food and a not-fan of work, I found that extremely depressing.

[Salika]

Originally Posted by Sha_

I read this about 3 times before I realised you meant, 'eat fat, people!' and were not telling us to become cannibals.

Sorry, let me fix that..

"Eat fat, people!"

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by Salika

Sorry, let me fix that..

"Eat fat, people!"

why not...

"Eat, fat people!"

[sixpakistan]

the best snack ever (an original recipe by yours truly)

1 bag doritos(tm) cool ranch (since the nacho cheese are haram)
1 bag shredded cheese of your choice (mexican blends are good, or you can just shred a block of pepperjack yourself)
a large amount of cooked ground beef
jalapeno slices
refried beans
pace(tm) hot salsa
sour cream

take the doritos(tm) and spread refried beans on each individual chip (this is a painstaking labor of love) as you put them on a plate. then put a lot of cooked ground beef all over the chips. add the jalapenos on top of that, then top it all off with a ton of shredded cheese. throw it in the microwave for 1 minute.

while it microwaves, take the pace(tm) hot salsa and mix it in a bowl with a little bit of sour cream. guacamole optional. when it's all done, eat the nachos with the dip you've made. truly excellent.

another good recipe for a snack i came up with is this:

1 bag amos & andy cookies (the little bite sized hard chocolate chip cookies) (optional: oreos or chips ahoy)
some amount of milk
some amount of peanut butter

spread peanut butter all over the cookies and put them all into a large bowl. add extra peanut butter at this point if you wish. if you used larger cookies, then crush up the cookies at this point. then pour milk over all of them (whole milk, you don't want to mess around). stir in some more PB if you wish. then eat it like it's cereal. you can substitute or add in other types of cookies in this recipe, as mentioned above.

[sixpakistan]

another good one:

1 quality cigar (i recommend a corona size since you're not going to use all the tobacco)
1 snickers bar
whipped cream
1 coffee making device and some coffee beans or however you make coffee (a coffeemaker that uses coffee pods is good for this - think the coffeemakers in hotel rooms)
peanut butter (optional)

take some amount of tobacco out of the cigar. take half the snickers bar. put both items inside the coffeepot, along with water and the coffeepod. add in some peanut butter if you like. eat the other half of the snickers bar. let the coffee brew. when it's done, you'll have tasty coffee that gives you a pleasant nicotine buzz. i do NOT recommend using baba 120 tobacco in place of the cigar tobacco. add sugar and cream/milk to taste (though imo this is best without anything else added). darwin award note: filter out the tobacco before you drink it.

[PaksFinest]

brownies with skim milk

[sixpakistan]

ok this next recipe involves a creative means of consumption, but that's what being a chef is all about - testing the limits. what you'll need -

1 syringe
1 needle
1 tub of ghee
1 type of oil of your choice
1 bag of sugar

take the ghee and the sugar and mix them in together. nuke it with some oil mixed in, so it'll go into the syringe nicely (MAKE SURE THERE ARE NO LUMPS). once the syringe is filled and you're ready to inject, inject into a muscle of your choosing. you probably don't want to hit a vein with this stuff, though it might make you feel full faster.

[sixpakistan]

this is an ethnic recipe i like a lot

- one person of an ethnicity that is exotic to YOU (let's not be eurocentric here)
- one person-sized deep fryer
- 55 gallons of peanut oil (for an adult) or 3-5 gallons of peanut oil (babies-toddlers)

put peanut oil into deep fryer. insert person into deep fryer.

serve with accompaniments that suit the ethnicity (i.e., lentils if it's a gujarati, dirt if it's a punjabi, etc)

edit: i forgot to mention, you'll need to wash the person (especially if its punjabi) and probably want to let the person marinate for a good long time as well

[zakk]

am I the only one who thinks sixpak's humor is kind of.... nonexistant?

[sally]

Originally Posted by zakk

am I the only one who thinks sixpak's humor is kind of.... nonexistant?

agreed..in fact sense of humor and sixpak in the same sentence should be a grave sin

maybe he accidentally ended up drinking a bottle of garnier fructis?

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by zakk

am I the only one who thinks sixpak's humor is kind of.... nonexistant?

Wait... you're saying that was humor?