[Salika]

Owies ouch ouch ouch! I was supposed to get my visitor earlier this week but I used the bcp to kick it but I'm still getting maaaaaaaaaaaaaaad cramps and it's going down my left leg and it's almost numb even argh and I have a final like... now so I have to go and take my final. I hope this doesn't interfere with my test (which is the only grade for the class). Ok, I hope this ibuprofen does the trick, bismillah, bye ladies!

[moonlightrose]

Originally Posted by Timbit

If you can't have kids...just adopt. Enough kids out there need a home.

seriously. its makes me sooo sad to see the kids who have no family left.

but I've always wondered how adoption works out islamically..like if u adopted a girl..your husband still wouldn't be her mahram right??

[sona]

khadeeja - so how is the family with your sister in law now - do they still harp on the fact that he's her adopted son? or are they cool with her?

[Asvi]

for fifa, this is so cute

[sally]

interestingly my friend and i were just discussing adoption yesterday... i said that i would looooove to adopt one inshaAllah... we were talking about how, if its a wise idea to adopt from a different country/ethnicity...like a kid who clearly would look different from the rest of the family..because that may be tough for the kid growing up and stuff..and then people talk to much also..

i really would love to adopt a non desi kid though..

[Asvi]

Originally Posted by sally

interestingly my friend and i were just discussing adoption yesterday... i said that i would looooove to adopt one inshaAllah... we were talking about how, if its a wise idea to adopt from a different country...like a kid who clearly would look different from the rest of the family..because that may be tough for the kid growing up and stuff..and then people talk to much also..

i really would love to adopt a non desi kid though..

i'A hubby and i plan to adopt kids too. he wants to adopt a white kid and raise him as a muslim. but i was like he/she will so diff. from the rest of the family and i dont want him/her getting teased in school for that. so i'A we'll see what happens.

[thejellymill]

I've always wanted to adopt at least one child too but the husband doesn't like the idea because he says 'what about mahram/nonmahram issues' for when the child gets older? He has a point.. if it's a boy will I have to wear hijab around him when he gets to be 11? If it's a girl will she always have to wear hijab around my husband (her adopted dad)? It's so confusing . I would still love to do it though if there's any way around those things..

[sally]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

I've always wanted to adopt at least one child too but the husband doesn't like the idea because he says 'what about mahram/nonmahram issues' for when the child gets older? He has a point.. if it's a boy will I have to wear hijab around him when he gets to be 11? If it's a girl will she always have to wear hijab around my husband (her adopted dad)? It's so confusing . I would still love to do it though if there's any way around those things..

there is a way to get around that but it may be tough

you need to breastfeed the adopted child

so basically, you would have to adopt one within the first 2 years of having a child of your own whom you regularly breastfeed so that the milk is still accessible for the child you adopt

or, and this is a total long shot, but lets say your husband has a sister or a brother with a wife who can breastfeed a girl you adopt...then there wouldnt be an issue because she would technically become your husbands mehram

[thejellymill]

Originally Posted by sally

there is a way to get around that but it may be tough

you need to breastfeed the adopted child

so basically, you would have to adopt one within the first 2 years of having a child of your own whom you regularly breastfeed so that the milk is still accessible for the child you adopt

or, and this is a total long shot, but lets say your husband has a sister or a brother with a wife who can breastfeed a girl you adopt...then there wouldnt be an issue because she would technically become your husbands mehram

Yea that's the only thing I could think of when hubby and I discussed it but of course it's complicated by many reasons. The idea about having a relative do it too is a good one too though! I think my sister or brother's wife would be fine too because then he/she would still be my husband's niece or nephew. Do you know if it takes just one occasion to "seal the deal" or does the adoptive parent have to breastfeed repeatedly?

[ChotooMotoo]

aren't there hormone shots you can take to stimulate lactation?

[sally]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

Yea that's the only thing I could think of when hubby and I discussed it but of course it's complicated by many reasons. The idea about having a relative do it too is a good one too though! I think my sister or brother's wife would be fine too because then he/she would still be my husband's niece or nephew. Do you know if it takes just one occasion to "seal the deal" or does the adoptive parent have to do it repeatedly?

hmm, i dotn know...youd have to ask a learned person/scholar about that..

you can also adopt a boy and have your sister breastfeed the baby if thats possible..but yeah the timing for everything would be tricky to deal with


but inshaAllah if your intentions are sincere...itll work out. where there's a will, there's a way. and if not may Allah reward you for your intentions, ameen

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo

aren't there hormone shots you can take to stimulate lactation?

Google is great. Indeed there ARE methods to induce lactation.

I googled "induce lactation medicine" and the first article that came up was:
Adoption and breastfeeding

If you can't view it, it's also been posted here:
Adoptive Breastfeeding, Induced Lactation, & Relactation Community

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

I hate having to ask again, feels slightly silly...however..could you all please, please keep in ur du'as, I have a huge life changing decision to make.

jazakallahkhair, you're all in my du'as

[Sugarcore]

hiiiiiiiiiiiii.

I am super wired on coffee right now. The barista at Starbucks must have put drugs in my coffee, I swear I'm doing things twice as fast as I usually would.

Oh and I signed up for this class in the winter semester called Topics in Islam. They change what they teach every so it's like a surprise I'm a little excited...

du'as for all of those who need them.

[sally]

thats really interesting chotoo...thanks for posting...very enlightening.

and omg im an emotional basketcase the moment

NEWLYWEDS ARE SO CUTE. and i consider people who have been married 2 yrs to be newlyweds too thanks....one of my cousins and his wife are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo adorable masha'Allah masha'Allah..and one of my VERY c lose friends got engaged..its like a match made in heaven...her parents were crazy aboutgetting her hitched and she met tons of guys but nothing worked...then the guy she ended up with...he picked her and he's had a crush on her for like 2 yrs lol..he was RIGHT THERE ALL ALLONG!! IN HER FACE. she said she'd entertained the idea of them being together but never thought he'd be interested in her that way

subhanAllah its amazing how things work out