Female Personal Hygiene

Asvi · #**14896** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugarberry

you tell him before you even get engaged. Having babies is a big deal (to some people) and I think a person needs to know what their getting into before they make a lifelong commitment.

i second this.

rawrr · #**14897** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sumiyia

i'd want a propsect to be honest with me from the start about something like that, so i'd probably tell him, especially if its a confirmed medical condition. i definitely wouldn't tell him after marriage.. but it's not the very first thing that would come out of my mouth either.. dunno if that makes any sense? it's early..

Yeah, it's kind of okay if its something like:
Guy: will you marry me?
Girl: Yeah, but I can't give you kids.

But the situation could be something like:

Girl: Will you marry me even though I can't have your babies.
Guy *runs away*

That's kind of awkward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugarberry

you tell him before you even get engaged. Having babies is a big deal (to some people) and I think a person needs to know what their getting into before they make a lifelong commitment.

V. true..

the_only_one · #**14898** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:16 AM

asalamu alykum girls

hope you're doing well iA and enjoying the last month of summer. hopefully things are working out for the better for everyone. iA

wasalams

Salika · #**14899** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rawrr

I have a question or three.

Is it wrong not to tell your future husband that you most probably can't have babies?
Do you tell him after marriage?
Or do you tell him and risk losing him?

I'm not necessarily talking about myself.

I think it's their right to know.

Salika · #**14900** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rawrr

Yeah, it's kind of okay if its something like:
Guy: will you marry me?
Girl: Yeah, but I can't give you kids.

Or even worse...

*couple trying to conceive*

Girl: Oh look I can't have babies
Guy: Did you know this before we got married...
Girl:

*guy runs away*

rawrr · #**14901** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salika

Or even worse...

*couple trying to conceive*

Girl: Oh look I can't have babies
Guy: Did you know this before we got married...
Girl:

*guy runs away*

Stupid guy.

So this girl, she loses both ways. If she tells her 'potentials' they (or their) mothers will almost certainly make an excuse and say it won't work etc. If she doesn't mention it now, then it's going to cause problems later.

afrakabob · #**14902** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thejellymill

My sister is so sweet mA, she called me at 12:01 to say happy birthday

Well technically not yet, I wasn't born until 7 pm

..I feel like a kid again cuz everyone's celebrating my birthday

Yea so err.. I'm up packing to move to the new place iA and trying to cram in some homework and all of a sudden for no apparent reason I have this craving for shami kebabs and paratha

happy birthday! that looks so incredibly unhealthy

my parents would certainly disapprove

Salika · #**14903** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rawrr

Stupid guy.

So this girl, she loses both ways. If she tells her 'potentials' they (or their) mothers will almost certainly make an excuse and say it won't work etc. If she doesn't mention it now, then it's going to cause problems later.

Why is he stupid? He has a right to know beforehand. Both sides do.

I think a lot of guys would stick around if they found out later that the girl was infertile. That wasn't what I was trying to point out. Rather, that she had decieved him. It becomes a trust issue more than a fertility issue.

When my husband and I were getting to know each other, I asked him what he would do, f God forbid, if we found out later that I could not conceive, and he said would not seek a divorce (Islamically, infertility/sterility is a valid grounds for divorce) and we could adopt. I feel the same way. But it might be different if the parties knew beforehand Allahu alam because you're not bound to that person.

Some people might not care as much about having children. Some would not mind adopting. But it will become an issue of trust if she hides it from him. That's not something you can fix with adoption.

rawrr · #**14904** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Salika

Why is he stupid? He has a right to know beforehand. Both sides do.

I think a lot of guys would stick around if they found out later that the girl was infertile. That wasn't what I was trying to point out. Rather, that she had decieved him. It becomes a trust issue more than a fertility issue.

When my husband and I were getting to know each other, I asked him what he would do, f God forbid, if we found out later that I could not conceive, and he said would not seek a divorce (Islamically, infertility/sterility is a valid grounds for divorce) and we could adopt. I feel the same way. But it might be different if the parties knew beforehand Allahu alam because you're not bound to that person.

Some people might not care as much about having children. Some would not mind adopting. But it will become an issue of trust if she hides it from him. That's not something you can fix with adoption.

Not sure about this. I only know one lady whos husband actually stayed with her even though she can't have children.

But I get you about the whole trust issue.

sona · #**14905** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhDGirl

So, um, this is really TMI but I can't tell anyone in real life except the husband and I am sort of antsy. If I don't get my pd by next week I am taking a test.

. I keep thinking it's coming and am wrong. I am doing to drive myself insane. So yeah...........

insha'Allah whatever is best...

(

)

moonlightrose · #**14906** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:38 AM

happy bday jellymill..!!

ChotooMotoo · #**14907** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rawrr

I have a question or three.

Is it wrong not to tell your future husband that you most probably can't have babies?
Do you tell him after marriage?
Or do you tell him and risk losing him?

I'm not necessarily talking about myself.

I told him that I had been diagnosed with fertility problems. He still married me. His belief was that whatever the doctors had diagnosed, there are treatments out there for everything and in the end it is Allah (swt) who gives children. Also, while I knew I had problems, he had no idea if he did or not, so blaming such a thing entirely on me wouldn't have been fair.

Happy Birthday Evil Tomato Lady (errr uhh... jelly)

sally · #**14908** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sona

\
p.s. in the case of my relative, she later married this guy that used to admire her in class.

and when she told him about her problem, he didn't think it was a big deal at all. alhumdulillah.

what a cutesy story

LOVE CONQUERS ALLLLLL!!!!!!11111111111111

Sapphire · #**14909** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 01:02 PM

i totally just wandered into MPH by accident >.<
I was traumatised.
They were discussing totally inappropriate things like how to dry wet beards. They should have more haya.

Anyway I have pink dye in my hair. gonna leave it in for 45 mins. The results should be fun, bearing in mind that i have to go to work tomorrow.

moonlightrose · #**14910** (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 01:04 PM

I got this in an email......is it true???

If you are ever forced by a thief or someone to take money out of an ATM machine, enter your pin number reversed. So if your number is 1254 mark 4521. The ATM machine will give you your money, but will automatically recognize this as a plea for help and will alert the police unknown to the thief. This option is in all ATM machines, but not many people know this. Please pass this information on to others. No harm in keeping this in mind