[zzze]

asslamu alaykum

my sister (due to the company she has been keeping ) now believes it's pointless to further your education or get a career as women only get married and pop babies. THE FRICK. I have tried talking sense to her, next option: smack her around.

tips?

[displaced]

Originally Posted by zzze

asslamu alaykum

my sister (due to the company she has been keeping ) now believes it's pointless to further your education or get a career as women only get married and pop babies. THE FRICK. I have tried talking sense to her, next option: smack her around.

tips?

why do you need to convince her otherwise? it's her life..you can advise her but ultimately, we all make different decisions.

and to be honest, it makes no difference if a girl majors in anthropology or doesn't go to uni at all.

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by zzze

asslamu alaykum

my sister (due to the company she has been keeping ) now believes it's pointless to further your education or get a career as women only get married and pop babies. THE FRICK. I have tried talking sense to her, next option: smack her around.

tips?

Point out to her that having a career is only one reason to get an educaiton. THe divorce rate in Western countries is right around 50%, what will she do if they divorce? What will she do if her husband died, or was unable to support the family? Does she want a life on public assistance? Jobs you can get without an education are not the kinds of jobs where boses will be lenient with you on your hijab, and you often face lots of discrimination. Why? Well, there are 20 people out there waiting for your job if you're fired, so why should the employer respect you?

Also, what will she do when her kids start school, and it's not necessary for her to look after the kids 24/7? Is she going to pick up hobbies? Wouldn't it be better to get a job, and help support the family? Plus, in Islam, she isn't obligated to give her husband money, so that's more money she can spend for herself.

I've seen too many cases where a woman took the stance "a woman's place is in the home" so she didn't get an education, and then her rich husband ran off with his secretary leaving her to fend for 6 kids with no educaiton to help get a job. I also had a dear friend whose father died at a very young age, leaving a H.S. educted mother to feed 7 kids all alone. Living on charity is not fun.

[Bruinrab]

Agree with chotoo.

And Sumi=mashallah x infinity.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

Originally Posted by displaced

why do you need to convince her otherwise? it's her life..you can advise her but ultimately, we all make different decisions.

and to be honest, it makes no difference if a girl majors in anthropology or doesn't go to uni at all.

she's 17 years old and is a 'sheep' therefore doesn't know what she really wants but follows her current friends. Sad but true. Who said she'd major in anthropology anyway?

Originally Posted by ChotooMotoo

Point out to her that having a career is only one reason to get an educaiton. THe divorce rate in Western countries is right around 50%, what will she do if they divorce? What will she do if her husband died, or was unable to support the family? Does she want a life on public assistance? Jobs you can get without an education are not the kinds of jobs where boses will be lenient with you on your hijab, and you often face lots of discrimination. Why? Well, there are 20 people out there waiting for your job if you're fired, so why should the employer respect you?

Also, what will she do when her kids start school, and it's not necessary for her to look after the kids 24/7? Is she going to pick up hobbies? Wouldn't it be better to get a job, and help support the family? Plus, in Islam, she isn't obligated to give her husband money, so that's more money she can spend for herself.

I've seen too many cases where a woman took the stance "a woman's place is in the home" so she didn't get an education, and then her rich husband ran off with his secretary leaving her to fend for 6 kids with no educaiton to help get a job. I also had a dear friend whose father died at a very young age, leaving a H.S. educted mother to feed 7 kids all alone. Living on charity is not fun.

Thank you (but ) I have tried all those. Her responses were ''Money, money, money '' and ''I'm going to make Jilbabs. I'll get chinese people to make them.'' When I told her there are plently of beautiful jilbabs already made with cheap labour she responded with ''I'm going to make thexy ones'' or something

Alhamdulilah she's still going to school (tho went on strike for a week) so insha Allah she may mature...and I'm making dua her 'misery love company' friends leave her be very soon insha Allah. (Another reason I don't favour motherhood seriously tiring)

[PhDGirl]

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

today the guy dr. at the medical centre right before an x ray asked ''are you pregnant'' i said no. he said ''are you sure?" i said yes again. and he said ''are you really sure''? i said yes!! and he asked again and i said yes.

I don't look pregnant, well, at least without my jilbab. I don't get what he was trying to get at, maybe whether I was the virgin mary type or if believed in contraception?

That was right after someone tried to walk into the bathroom that the malaysian lady said was locked. Alhamdulilah I was just washing my hands.

They have to ask you before an X-Ray because of the impact of radiation on a baby. Sometimes they ask questions like that twice because people might say "no" the first time and "wellll, maybe" the second time. They don't want to chance it - I'm sure you look great!

[jaani]

Originally Posted by thejellymill

Hey for those of you trying to study (i.e. Naj ), I've found that listening to soothing piano or instrumental-type music really helps me focus. Now if only I could get away from islamica first

Here are some links to some of the music on youtube inshallah: Piano in the Forest , Rihanna's Unfaithful (Instrumental), Relajante (there are others, Relajante II, III etc etc)

Awesome stuff....especially the Rihanna Instrumental

Originally Posted by gt_sweet

I, along with 50 year old women everywhere, also like Yanni

I've been listening to Yanni since I was 10.....he's too good!

~j

[Bruinrab]

Originally Posted by zzze

Thank you (but ) I have tried all those. Her responses were ''Money, money, money '' and ''I'm going to make Jilbabs. I'll get chinese people to make them.'' When I told her there are plently of beautiful jilbabs already made with cheap labour she responded with ''I'm going to make thexy ones'' or something

Alhamdulilah she's still going to school (tho went on strike for a week) so insha Allah she may mature...and I'm making dua her 'misery love company' friends leave her be very soon insha Allah. (Another reason I don't favour motherhood seriously tiring)

Have you suggested to her that perhaps she should learn for the sake of learning? After all, we are instructed to travel as far as China for knowledge. Not because of earning power or status, but because learning has an intrinsic value, making it something that we should, Islamically, strive for.

[zzze]

assalamu alaykum

Although she's said ''I've learnt enough already'' I'll try that one again, as you've worded it better masha Allah thanks

[ChotooMotoo]

Originally Posted by zzze

assalamu alaykum

Although she's said ''I've learnt enough already'' I'll try that one again, as you've worded it better masha Allah thanks

You can try another thing. Tell her that if she doesn't get an education, only FOBS will marry her, and they only marry for immigration purposes, so they would leave her in the gutter with kids as soon as they get their papers. If she has an education, she will either attract a higher class of people, or would be able to support herself if her immigration only marriage broke up.

(yeah, even if those are stereotypes, there are enough bad stories out there that....)

[zzze]

asslamu alaykum

ahaha. My mum is so clever masha Allah, she told her a 26 year old iraqi (fob, i think) was coming round to see her. My sister freaked out. Perhaps now she will stop talking about getting married. I did tell her that only chauvanistic (or salafi) men specifically look for uneducated 17 year old girls, and girls dont just laze around home anymore, so soon all her good friends will be too busy to bother with her. She just mmhmmd.

Getting there

[ChotooMotoo]

I read the book, studied in a group, went over questions, but I still feel woefully unprepared for the exam tommorow. I need to study, but don't know what else to study, and I have a headache. Dua's please!

[sally]

Originally Posted by displaced

and to be honest, it makes no difference if a girl majors in anthropology or doesn't go to uni at all.

not everyone is cut for the sciences.. plus, the social science/liberal arts aren't all as terrible as people make them out to be.

[vanillawafer]

Originally Posted by sally

not everyone is cut for the sciences.. plus, the social science/liberal arts aren't all as terrible as people make them out to be.

I think it was just random that she mentioned anthropology. I think the point was that its up to her sister do decide what she wants to do with her life, education or no education.